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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/11/2011 19:53

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a Brew. We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus Smile xx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 30/11/2011 20:15

Oh JWN Sad that's such sad news my love. No words other than I am here for you if you need me. Sending you love and strength. xxxx

OP posts:
Bproud · 30/11/2011 20:27

My lovely, lovely, babes, so sorry to hear your troubles. Like JWN says, I think you are all amazing, you are facing life head on and dealing with it, not through a haze of drink, even those drinking are doing so mindfully.

Keep on sharing your thoughts and troubles, we can all support each other. Love and hugs to all XX

sillysillymum · 30/11/2011 21:46

JWN so sorry to hear about your mum. That is horrible news and really hard for you and all your family, but I know that you will be a tower of strength for everyone. But when you struggle you must tell us. You can't always look after everyone else; sometimes you need looking after too.

Mouse you are lovely, and I really, really don't know how you cope with the pain on top of everything else. I couldn't. Don't know anyone (in real life) who could actually. I hope you realise how strong you are.

Sorry some of us are struggling at the moment. Thinking of you all. Tomorrow is another day...

dementedma · 30/11/2011 22:19

just checking in. Am drinking tonight but not in a getting pissed sort of way.
I'm ok.
Love to all of you who are struggling.

thurso1 · 01/12/2011 07:24

Morning all,

Happy December!
Sending love and strength to each and every one of you.

Faire I'm with you, let's all go to Babeland, soon!

xxxxx

FairstiveGreetings · 01/12/2011 08:25

('Tis me) Wink

Pinch, punch first of the month. Smile

See y'all later x

blossom123 · 01/12/2011 09:22

morning all
ma what is it with us, I was also drinking last night "but in a very pissed way", I was doing so well, had a good day @ work and decided to celebrate.Hmm Feel like crap this morning. Sad, went 6 days with a cig and boy did I make up for it. I am really cross with myself. Again how bloody indulgent, sorry!

swallowedAfly · 01/12/2011 09:48

pinches and punches fairstive (great name) as she failed to say 'no returns' Smile

jwn so sorry - it's something that we're all going to deal with isn't it? and sorry to those who already have been through their parents getting older and ill and such Sad i hope you're ok x

theala you've nothing to say sorry for! i'm sorry if the word upset you but i'm afraid what you were describing sounded like what the word was invented for i'm afraid. but i'm not always the subtlest babe and i'm sorry if i upset you x

4 day headache here that i'm getting bloody sick of. also lots of probs with the dog health/injury/hormone wise and too much on to deal with it properly so i'm sure stress won't be helping. all ok though - nothing unmanageable.

my goal for today is not to drink anything till after dark and then only a couple if i want to.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 10:36

Good morning Brave Babes.

Delurking to sneak onto the bus.

I have lurked for easily a year now, and just wanted to say how much I admire you all- and I am finally admitting that I want to join you.

notevenamousie · 01/12/2011 10:51

Need a namechange - this is my Christmas Name Change from 2 years ago. DD is "the Mouse" or "Mousie" so it's from 'T'was the night before Christmas. Maybe I could be notevenaChristmousie or is that too predictable?

Blue skies here, feeling pretty emotional but think that's just the way it's going to have to be. Been really challenged to "treat myself with the love and respect I think my daughter deserves" by my sponsor this morning. Wow. Work to do on that one.

notevenaChristmousie · 01/12/2011 10:57

Just realised I was this last year Blush but had forgotten - Mouse, did you think of it for me, I think you did, but I can't remember for definite.

and welcome WinterSleeps what makes you delurk and join us today? How are you feeling? This is a good place to be and I'm looking forward to getting to know you.

Right, out into this beautiful clear sunny freezing day :) and if no-one has told you they love you today, then let me be the first x

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 10:59

Morning noteven. I like your proposed new Christmas name!

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 11:04

Thanks noteven. That is a lovely welcome!

I guess I am delurking because I have really struggled with my drinking in the past year, and I am so unhappy about it. Have had a stressful year and have responded by drinking until I quite literally forget. It does not help, and I am consumed with self hatred right now. I also fear so much that my children will grow up to know me as a 'useless drunk'. (How I heard someone else described - so very unkindly- recently by their son.)

I lose my days to wine sometimes. Every day I try and 'control' my intake but I think I have just realised that I cannot. I admire you all on the bus, because you are all facing up to things, and I am still quite a bit in denial.

blossom123 · 01/12/2011 11:13

hello winter I am new here too and have to say DS is my main motivation for getting my drinking under control. Just stepping on here and talking is a some way to not being denial, you know. Smile

MsGee · 01/12/2011 11:14

erm, hello....

is it ok if I come back on ... I miss you guys.

Am really sorry about my disappearance and lack of explanation on the thread. At the time I left there were some posts (not sure if person still here so will keep trap shut) which brought up my own ishooos so I decided to slink off. I couldn't think of a way of explaining myself without being unhelpful to someone else, so I just sort of went away.

So ... can I get back on, or do I have to sit in Stroppy Mares corner for a bit Grin

I'm not catching up on posts, I figure I will get the gist of things but
((( JWN ))) . I am so sorry about your mum.

Things here ok .. ish. Drinking but not much. I felt bad for drinking the past two nights but it turns out that I drank half a bottle of wine over those two nights, so clearly I have made some progress! Due date is next week and I am not going to set myself any rules until that has passed.

venusandChristMARS · 01/12/2011 11:19

OK, I'm off to whisk up some seasonal winter magic and create a very special Babeland place that we can all retreat to. Are you ready?

Babeland is a wonderful, magical place. It is sparkling and frosty but it doesn't feel cold. It is still and starlit and there are some flakes of snow falling gently. It is peaceful. If you listen, you may be able to hear some music. It may sound like choirs of angels, it may sound like the best rock music ever, it may sound like your favourite winter songs, it may sound like children laughing, or it may just sound like the peaceful silence of a winter evening. You can choose, whatever makes you feel calm, happy, invigorated and good.

In the middle of babeland is a place that you can go, however you are feeling. It has the rich deep smell of a wonderful log fire, you can feel the gentle warmth and hear the logs crackling. Your gaze is drawn to flames flickering gently and your mind is captivated totally by the colours - red, yellow, orange, ochre, white, purple, blue, green, turquoise, crimson, gold - you can see them all. And as you look at the amazing colours you can feel you shoulders relaxing, the tension leaving your neck, and you sigh and feel calm.

You may not be able to see them, but you sense that all around you are other like-minded people. Other people from babeland who know you without asking questions, who understand your frustrations without you having to bare your soul, people who are happy simply to be here alongside you. You do not need to know their names, you do not have to ask for permission to join, or ask for their support. Whatever you need most they can give, maybe cheerful chatty giggling companionship, maybe a hug, maybe some insipration, maybe some quiet space for your own thoughts.

There is a bowl of the most nourishing food you could ever imaging. Like a comfort blanket for your body. Yet delightfully light and refreshing too. As you imagine taking it into your body, you can almost feel it repairing your cells, making your eyes bright and your skin glow. Adding nourishment without weight, giving gentle energy, and leaving you feeling replete and satisfied, and maybe even a little sleepy.

From this warm place you can see your own home, and it is like looking into a beautiful story. Magically you can see all the good things, the shared fun, the familiar objects, the people you love. It is almost as if the magic of babeland has cast a glow over your own life and has brightened all the good things in it and dimmed down the colours of all the rest, so that for a moment all you can see is the comfort, familiarity, excitement and happiness. When you see it in that light, you know how you can live there peacefully.

And the great thing about babeland, is that once you've created it, it is a magical place in your mind that you can conjure up whenever you need it, whenever you want to visit. Come on in.

venusandChristMARS · 01/12/2011 11:22

MsGee I'm so happy to see you xx

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 11:27

That was beautiful venus. :)

I remember you too MsGee and am so glad you are back. Thank you blossom and everyone for your welcome. I feel afraid, I cannot even imagine a future (even a day by day future) without alcohol in it, but have realised that I have to do something. I am also an alcohol obsessive. :( It is so horrid.

sillysillymum · 01/12/2011 11:32

Morning everyone

I drank last night too...hadn't planned to. Had had a good day though and felt like I could celebrate with "a glass of" wine. Sound familiar Blossom? I had just over half a bottle and I am trying to focus on that being an improvement on the usual quantities. Also, I haven't drank at all since Saturday, and if I don't drink (I WON'T drink) tonight and tomorrow then I think I'll be happy with that.

noteven that's really interesting what your sponsor said...much food for thought there. We should imagine ourselves as our daughters and think how we would support and love them in our situation, and show some of that compassion to ourselves x

WinterSleeps hello and welcome! Your story sounds very familiar. I hope you find the bus helpful. Well done for posting. I found that first post to be hugely emotional but it was the best thing I ever did Smile

Hello to everyone else. Have good days babes.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 11:35

Thank you all so much for your warmth and support. :)

Hope you all have good days too.

sillysillymum · 01/12/2011 11:40

Cross-posts...

MsGee welcome back. Nice to see you again Smile

Venus you are a wonderful person. I am in floods of tears now, in a happy way. I'm going to print out your description of Babeland and keep it with me...what a beautiful place Babeland is x

WinterSleeps you're in the right place Smile

blossom123 · 01/12/2011 11:51

venus oh wow
silly umm, yes I had a 1/2 bottle also but unfortunately it was whisky not bloody wine, (worst thing it did not make me pissed, WTF!!) I was on day 5 a feeling oh so slightly smug. Bugger back to day 1 but today I will NOT be drinking. Distraction tactics needed, puzzles, Italian whilst watching tele.

MsGee · 01/12/2011 12:23

venus looks like I came back on the right day - your description of babeland is beautiful. x

waves to everyone else. I am off in a bit to collect DD but will be back later x

jesuswhatnext · 01/12/2011 12:45

morning! thanks for the good wishes! not sure about the next steps for mum, its a bit of a waiting game right now so looking at the postives where possible!

welcome wintersleeps! - you mention being scared of life without the booze - oh my word that rings some bells for me! i was absolutly terrifed of life without 'my crutch, my friend, my medicine' whatever - now the thought of life WITH alcohol scares me! - im terrified of reverting back to that sad old drunk who thought she was coping but whose life was fast becoming an utter mess - the longer you can stay sober the more that the fear of life without booze diminishes, fear is replaced by 'normal life', sometimes shitty and difficult but mostly FANTASTIC!!! Grin

right now it seems that fate or whatever has decided to throw me a pretty big curveball (loads of bloody shit and angst and worry that i simlply cant post about right now) previously it would have sent me to the bottom of the bottle, now, i feel im truely coping, i can help where i can (and i can see with a clarity of mind exactly WHERE my help is needed or NOT as the case may be) im cool calm and collected and reliable - its only down to my continuing sobriety though! believe me, anyone who is wavering and struggling, it IS worth the effort/pain/hardwork/navel-gazing/sheer bloody mindedness!

thank you all for being here right now!!

L XXXX

atosilis · 01/12/2011 14:00

Thanks for that jesuswhatnext. The thing that I was not prepared for when attempting to stop drinking is that sober life, for me, is not that brilliant. The coffee doesn't smell that nice and things that were blurry are now in sharp relief - and I don't like them. Good to know that it IS worth the effort , just needed to read that then!