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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

999 replies

Mouseface · 24/11/2011 19:53

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a Brew. We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus Smile xx

OP posts:
venusandChristMARS · 01/12/2011 14:37

JWN I understand the shock and distress that you and your family are going through. It is such a tough time for everyone waiting to find out. I really hope that you can ask people for help to support you - and I also know how difficult that is, it can make you feel vulnerable and scared and emotional.

That can be horrid, but it's not as bad as the alternative. I didn't do enough of that recently, and for a while I reverted to the old familiar support in a bottle. I can tell you catagorically that it isn't worth it for a moment. When I've relied on my friends they've wiped my tears, held me up when I felt like collapsing, and helped to me stand up and fight. The false-friend in the bottle encouraged me to rely on it but in actual fact it left my tears uncomforted, pushed me over when I felt like collapsing, and left me feeling much much worse the next morning.

Fortunately, I'm back in a better place now Smile. If you feel tempted at all JWN just call and I can tell you why it's not worth it. Take care of yourself x

jesuswhatnext · 01/12/2011 14:56

thanks venus Smile im so glad you are getting back to a better place now, you are too special to be lost to us for the sake of a bottle of booze!

its strange but i dont feel particuarly emotional just now, worried and concerned of course but quite calm, no knee-jerk panicing or weeping and wailing, no drama queen antics at all, quite unlike me really! Grin seriously, i just have this kind of unswerving feeling that i may be needed and im not about to let anyone down by being selfish, i have been through tough times before and got through them, i can and will do it again! (hoicks up her big girl knickers and paints on a smile!)

FairstiveGreetings · 01/12/2011 16:36

Hey MsGee great to see you back here Smile and hello to Winter.

venus babeland just gets better and better. What a calm and comforting picture you paint. Thanks for that.

JWN so sorry about your mum, it's so hard for you all. As you say, you can be of actual help without the booze and I'm sure your dad will really appreciate the support. Just try to take some time for yourself and let us know if it's getting too tough for you. x

Blossom Distraction tactics needed, puzzles, Italian whilst watching tele

I like these ideas. I have puzzles already, but where do I go to get the Italian? I'm sure he could prove quite distracting Wink.

thurso1 · 01/12/2011 16:45

Hello,

Lovely JWN, I'm sorry I didn't read read back properly this morning, I'm so sad to hear that your DM is ill. I have never met you (yet!! Smile), but you are an inspiration to me, and a friend, I send you my love and prayers at this difficult and scary time. xxxx

Venus I am so glad that you are in calmer waters at the moment. I don't know about you, but it is such an easy default mechanism for me, to buy the wine when the going gets tough, or, actually just after the going has been tough.
Someone, sorry can't look back and remember who, asked me about tips for controlled drinking. I haven't got any really, because I don't really know what controlled drinking is for me. I have had evenings of picking up wine because I'm very tired, or feeling completely snowed under, which doesn't sound very controlled to me!! Not as much or as often as before, but drinking, pure and simple. Fairly well back on track now, but I know exactly what you mean Venus.

I felt completely snowed under, and in over my head (to coin only two cliches Grin), when I got home from work today, and guess what (whispers) I left all my jobs and work, and went to sleep on the sofa for one and a half hours!!! I've just had a huge mug of tea, and am fit for the world again!

thurso1 · 01/12/2011 16:47

Oops I meant to read and edit that, not post it, serendipity Smile

Is there a *Mouse in the house today?

thurso1 · 01/12/2011 16:49

Welcome Winter, also Silver how are you doing?

Isinde How are you, and the family?

thurso1 · 01/12/2011 16:51

Ok I'll stop, or I'll be doing the Oscars speech role call!!

To everyone, I hope your days have gone well, wishing you peaceful late afternoons, speak later xxxxxxx

swallowedAfly · 01/12/2011 17:18

send him my way when you're done with him faire! in fact, by rights, given i'm the single one he should come here first.

swallowedAfly · 01/12/2011 17:20

it's only late afternoon! it feels like bedtime already.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 17:33

Thank you all for your welcome.

JWN I am so sorry for what you are going through.

I confess- DH bought some red today for our lamb. I have already decided i will have a glass- but not yet (a big challenge in itself) and then I am committing to a pint of fizzy water in between each glass. If I can even stick to that it will be an achievement. Blush.

see. Denial. But, I am determined to at least stick to that.... and hopefully tomorrow I can cut back even more.

I want this thing out of my life.

venusandChristMARS · 01/12/2011 17:59

winter that sounds like a good plan, but I also suggest that you START by also having a pint of fizzy water - it sets the intention, it hydrates you and fills up your tummy.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 18:08

Thanks venus. Good advice. :)

Usually I am a bit of an all or nothing girl. So, I have an intention to not drink, have one and then binge thinking 'stuff it'.

I have made a committment to myself today. I want to beat this. I want it out of my life. It saps my energy, it makes me miserable. The momentary 'gain' of feeling 'good' and 'relaxed' is false.

Even just slowing down, and stopping after dinner (I aim to switch to herbal tea) would be a BIG change for me. One step at a time... and tomorrow I will aim for less.

I wish so much I could aim for abstinence today, but I honestly do not feel as if I have the strength. This is why I so admire you all on the bus. You guys really are an inspiration. I hope one day I too can be providing helpful suggestions to newbies.

I am also a bit nervous... we have friends staying for the weekend. They drink hard - even harder than I do. Last time they stayed the pair of them got through 5 bottles of red, and two bottles of champagnes on their own, in one day. That is a little bit more than even I can do (I am - confession- a two bottle a day of white girl). But I deal with the weekend then also, not today.

venusandChristMARS · 01/12/2011 18:26

You've got it winter, deal with the weekend at the weekend, don't let it put you off your stride for today. Every single day that you drink less is good, so the worst thing is to fall into the trap of not trying to cut down/stop because you know there's a big weekend coming up.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 18:37

Oh yes, it sounds familiar, putting off cutting down/out because of something. 'Tomorrow's Friday!' or 'It is our anniversary', or me this morning 'But soon it is Christmas'.

If I cut down today it will be a big thing, and I hope to build on it.

Thank you.

notevenaChristmousie · 01/12/2011 18:48

Urgh, hate this time of the day. sAf I thought you had yourself a budding romance, shouldn't the Italian be mine? ;)

MsGee it's really great to have you back lovely lady, hope this run up to your EDD isn't too difficult for you.

I've sat and looked at this self-esteem issue, and it seems that I am miles away from treating myself in anything like the way I would treat DD. It seems an insurmountably difficult thing to face but I guess if I just act today as if I love and respect myself, slowly it will start to become reality.

Winter have you tried to cut down before? Has it worked? I was drinking around what you are and I was emotionally and physically drained, exhausted, broken. I couldn't imagine life with alcohol or without it. Cutting down always ended up in failure but I had to get as miserable as I did else I would never have been willing to admit defeat and get help.

ODAAT is the only way as far as I can see - so simple yet sometimes so difficult to do.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 18:53

Oh yes, I have tried cutting down a hundred times. :)

I did AA about 10 years ago too.... but with some bad results, as there were some people in the group who got off on head fucking. The longest I have ever been without alcohol (except when pg) is 18 days.

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 18:54

.. to add... that the AA group I went to was in another country. Have not tried here.

FairstiveGreetings · 01/12/2011 19:30

Winter there will always be a reason to drink. There are also lots of very good reasons to not drink. The thought of living without alcohol used to scare the living daylights out of me. Now I love the days I don't drink. I love beyond description the mornings I wake knowing I didn't drink the night before. Don't get me wrong, I do still enjoy the odd drinks I have. It's just that I enjoy not having them more. The less you have it, the less you want it. So cutting down, one drink at a time is an enormous step in the direction you want to go.

noteven and saf you do realise that the Italian doesn't actually exist? Stop fighting over him! Grin

Mouse I hope you are snuggled up somewhere warm and cosy resting your weary little limbs x

AChristmouseTail · 01/12/2011 19:48

Hello all. Just marking my spot, I'll be back after dinner Brave Babes xx

Tis me, Mouseface Grin

Bproud · 01/12/2011 19:58

How did that happen? I just talked myself into doing a family lunch for 14 on saturday. It looks like the whole of Christmas in one week next week, starting with the big lunch then something every evening (except monday) until next friday...
Will let you know if I am still standing next weekend Grin
Winter if its not too late how about NOT havibg a drink tonight and saving your alternating plan for the weekend?

WinterSleeps · 01/12/2011 20:10

Too late, bproud but thanks. However, I have drunk a bit more than half a bottle. I am again heading for the loo Blush and I am about to take a bath to keep my mind off things. Any other night and I would be really 'settling in' about now. DH has started on the rum... jealous, because he honestly could take or leave alcohol.

Small victories as they happen.

Big family lunch... Waitrose have a recipe right now for slow-cooked pork... it may be on their website (I picked it up at the store). That would do 14 in a pinch.

AChristmouseTail · 01/12/2011 20:36

I'm back Smile

Welcome to the Bus lovely Winter, nice to have you on board.

Loving the festive name changes.

Not really read back I'm afraid. Sorry. I've been back to the doctor and had my meds changed yet again. Need to get my head around everything so will be back tomorrow.

MsGee - I felt a real bubble of happiness rise up when I saw your post, and the same for Thurso.

Even Silver is back to drive us for a while maybe? To a Winter Wonderland if we are very lucky.

Anyway, I need to sign off for the night, back tomorrow when I've had time to digest everything the doc said.

Lots of love to you all,

Mouse xxxxx

thursnowandsleighbells · 01/12/2011 20:38

Evening all (doffs helmet!)

Winter I am just going for a bath too, it's the best thing to do on this horrid rainy night. Have you any peppermint tea? I used to hate it, but now I find it strangely soothing [or am I strange, icon!].

Dh out playing squash, he will turn into a bloody squash racquet soon, but if it helps, I can only be glad.

Bproud Crikey, that's a lot of people! I have 10 or possibly 14 for Christmas lunch, and haven't even started to think about it yet. Winter's idea of a slow cooked meal is a good one. I did Jamie's slow cooked lamb a couple of weeks ago and it was fab, and quite stress free!

Hello Mouse I was starting to worry Smile, I hope you have had a lovely dinner, and that your pain is lessening.xxx

Righto, bath beckons
Take care xx

thursnowandsleighbells · 01/12/2011 20:42

X posted Mouse , sorry.
Please look after yourself tonight, I'm sending you fairy dust for a good, and peaceful night's sleep xxxx

Bproud · 01/12/2011 21:03

Thanks Thurso, Slow cooked lamb is a great idea, I will go to the butcher on the way to work in the morning.

I will be retreating to babeland in my head when the going gets tough this week Smile
I hope the new meds suit you better Mouse.