The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

YOU'RE NOT COMING OUT UNTIL YOU ARE BETTER AND STOP BEING A RIGHT MARDY TART!!

All this moaning and whining, pha, there are far worse cases than yours you big girl's blouse!

TBH, I'd have decked her too, just because I'm a Manc? lass at heart and she was asking for it IMO

Right, off to try and bathe a very hot little boy. He needs to be cooled and this is as good as way as any, assuming I can get him in it. Wish me luck Babes. xx

Saf - sleep sounds perfect. I'm just off to have a bath seeing as though the builder is allegedly putting the shower in at some point tomorrow.....

Be back later, keep safe and strong Babes xx

I'm an Aunty!!

SIL has had the baby, DD x

Sorry not to name check everyone. I am having serious internet issues, just lost my post.
I need Scoundrel's advice too. I drank, am very low. Not missed seeing DD though. I have never had a hangover like this. When will I learn and give in? I hate Christmas, in case anyone had any doubt. Just more excuses though...

What do you expect us to say to you noteven? How many times can we tell you that if you want our help, our support as a collective Bus, then it's yours. It's there, it always has been.

But you have to be ready and willing to give up drinking for YOURSELF as well as your daughter.

It's three days until Christmas and she is without you, and you without her.

I can't support you drinking and letting her be without you any more. I'm sorry but my heart breaks for her.

When will you ever learn? Maybe when it's too late noteven.

I'm sorry but I'm out of here for a while.

That was a little harsh, Mouse. It wasn't so very long ago when you were falling off the wagon on a fairly regular basis. Everyone deserves a little sympathy/empathy.

Noteven, I don't know what's been going on recently with regards to your dd as I haven't been reading this thread for a while until today, have you been drinking regularly again or was it a one off this time? Have you spoken to your sponsor, can you get to a meeting? x

I don't know what's been going on recently with regards to your dd as I haven't been reading this thread for a while until today, have you been drinking regularly again or was it a one off this time? Have you spoken to your sponsor, can you get to a meeting?

When you do know, and you do know why I feel like I do, and trust me when I say that noteven and I have discussed this off board, then tell me I'm being harsh okay?

I think it best I left for a while.

Just popped in to say I haven't had any cravings today and the half bottle in the fridge is untouched :) I wish I knew why some days I can just leave it and others I feel utterly compelled to drink. I do know that I can't drink like a "normal" drinker; I hide it from others, sneak drinks, pre-load before I go out. I want to be free of the guilt and how hopeless it makes me feel.

I have to go back and read so I know where all of you are on this journey :)
I want to stay on the bus and learn from you all and hopefully give something back too. I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow with a clear head and no regrets for what happened the night before.

Saf you probably do need to rest quite a bit but once you are 'back to your usual self' you might like to consider going down the OT route, what do you have to lose right?

I have finally finished my present shopping and food shopping and am safely back home away from the madness

Congratulations Aunty Mouse what lovely news

Noteven how about sticking to your plan to post something every day, just to keep it real. Christmas is a difficult time for some I know but, where alcohol is concerned, there will always be a reason to drink. I think we will see a lot of determination on this thread in the New Year.

Withme how are you getting on?

yay for auntyhood mouse i'm so pleased for her - she so deserved it and yay for a girl!!!! i want a girl

faire - nothing to lose. after the christmas break i'm going to call the uni and bypass the bullshit admin and get through to someone high up in the OT dept and impress their socks off. i'm good at that if i can get through to the person that matters - sounds big headed but fuck it it's true and then they can help me know how best to go about securing a place and funding.

i emailed the lady at the hospice who can sort stuff - obviously there'll be a delay for christmas but she'll get back to me and something will come of that.

noteven - i don't know what to say. if you want your dd back ever it's time to go to rehab and face that you can't do this alone. if you can't do it with the motivation of losing your dd forever then i don't know what can motivate you. i think you need serious, full time, professional help before it's just too late.

hi all. hope you are all coping with your various issues. Too many to mention but battle on.
Nice boss left today - got a hug and then had to try and drive home when couldn't see for tears. One so-called colleague asked "What are you going to do for a sugar daddy now L has gone?" Nice. I said "Just shag the new boss. That's how I get on in life doncha know?"
Childish bitches.
noteven GET HELP. PROFESSIONAL HELP. NOW. Your DD needs you.

noteven - i do feel for you, i feel for your dd, the others are right, you need to ask for some real life, long term rehab, i honestly believe you can beat this, you have some sobriety under your belt so you know you can do it, but my love, you have some very real issues that you HAVE to deal with and i think you need people who know what they are doing, when all is said and done, although you have support here and at aa, all we are is a bunch of people with our own issues to work through, we empathise but we cant 'make you better', you need professional help! do you remember when you first posted? tbh you sounded like a total loon and i very nearly walked away from your posts thinking you were taking the piss (a troll actually), as you got slowly sober i began to see a person behind the posts, a kind, intelligent, thoughtful woman, darling, you are heading back to the loony posts now and i hate to see it! PLEASE, go and see the doc tomorrow, it dosent matter about pride or reputation or community standing etc etc, if you carry on the way you are going you will soon lose all of those anyway - im not being down on you, i think you are falling low and fast, but i think you still have a way to fall, stop the fall now, you dont have to get any lower!! just give in! admit defeat, ask for help! PLEASE!!

mouse - i like the idea of a 'poorly cupboard'! i think all women should have one, a room with a soft bed with clean sheets and lemsip and balsam tissues and bowl of exotic fruits and soundproofing so that you cant hear anyone ask you for anything!!

oh and btw, i like your style ma!!

Please may I hop on? I have lurked for a while, and could really do with a bit of help from you lovely lot.

I admit now, for the first time ever, that I have a problem with alcohol. One glass never enough, anything is a good excuse for a drink.I am turning into the cliche of a middle aged woman whose answer to every problem is in a glass of wine or beer or g&t. I don't want to be her any more. I am scared that if I carry on, I will really damage my health.

Last night was a couple of beers while cooking, then several glasses of red, and a husband who told me I was pissed. I denied it, but really was, and did the waking up at 4.30 thing and not going back to sleep, so now feel awful. Hungover. Horrible. Bloated. Queasy. Oddly, I suffer from emetophobia very badly, and think that the fact that my DS's baby and wife have just had a stomach bug made me drink more to try and dampen down my anxiety about them bringing it to us later today. It hasn't..

It is nearly Christmas, and today you will all be up to your eyes in preparations, and not have time to spend reading my meanderings, so I won't say any more at the moment about how this all started. But I have a plan. No drink today. I won't have much privacy to check in here over the next few days, but will try when I can. Now cup of tea, shower and supermarket.

Blimey, that was hard to say. TIA to you all.

Welcome Mary you have taken a great first step in admitting that to yourself and us. I like your plan for today, have you got lots of lovely soft drinks to enjoy this evening? I wish you luck over the next few days and look forward to hearing from you after the festivities.

Good morning Mary and welcome. I outed myself yesterday and feel better for it so I hope you do too. Just think, if you stick to your plan of not drinking today, you'll feel like I do this morning, which is clear-headed and hopeful, because I didn't drink yesterday. When I was married (divorced 5 years ago) my husband was constantly watching my drinking and checking for signs of me being pissed so I know how you feel.

It's going to be hard for me to stop over Christmas so my plan is to do it on 27th December with silver! My intention today is to stick to just a couple later when I take DD to see my parents (we're staying the night). My problem is that I can drink in a normal way some of the time (eg just a couple of glasses) and I can even do that for a while, but eventually I'll get to a point where I'm opening a bottle most days at home alone (sometimes even before lunch) and eventually that all accumulates and as I have a tendency towards depression that starts to set in and I feel down all the time.

I'm feeling lonely right now because it's Christmas and I'm single and I have to share DD with her dad and I've been drinking to dull that ache. But of course it just makes it worse. I want to be able to face things with no hangover or guilt. Hope everyone else has a good day and don't run yourself ragged!

Morning all,and welcome Mary,

How are you Bproud?, do you have the DC's home for Christmas?, your second sober one, you star .

Mad busy here, and I seem to have aquired more teenagers who came home with DC2 at 5am!! I've got the bacon on .

I think (hope) that I am sorted present giving wise, wrapped up the last yesterday, now just have the stockings to do. DC2 asked me can we please NOT put out the mince pie for Father Christmas and the carrot and milk for the reindeer this year, but, I said that Father Christmas wouldn't be coming then (ho, ho!). I know it's just for my benefit these last few years, but actually DC1 who is older quite likes it (or maybe just doesn'r ridicule me aloud ).

I hope you are feeling better JWN, It so often happens at this time of the year, when one starts to relax, BAM, the bugs hit. Sending love xxxx

Have good mornings all, speak later
xxxxx

Thanks B. Sorry, don't know yet how to do bold. Yes. soft drinks on the list, and just off to the supermarket before the true carnage begins. One day at a time. Wishing you all a good Christmas.

MrsMiniver, hello, I remember you from a while ago I think. Do you have DD on Christmas day?

P.s Ma perfect reply, I never think of brilliant lines like that until after the event.

Hi thursnow. Yes I do have her Christmas Day which is great, then he has her Boxing Day. Think I just need to make a plan to keep me busy when she's not here. How are things with you?

Hi Thurso, yes both at home, with loads of friends coming and going as well it is luffly. (But also quite nice to escape to work each day this week!). Xmas starts at 3.00 this afternoon when I finish work and I am really looking forward to a cooking marathon tomorrow. I have decided that since I have the headspace and energy - due to being sober - I am doing home made everything, pate, potted shrimps, cookies, cheese straws etc etc YUM!

I'm fine thanks, just waiting for DC and guests to wake up!

I do have a positive resolve on today, in that I really don't want to drink over Christmas, I didn't drink very much at all last Christmas, with a couple of exceptions, that I tried not too dwell on. I had not long joined the bus, and I so wanted to be different. I have let things slide at various times throughout this year, but nothing like before, with the help of all my friends on here. I remember the lovely feeling of waking up clear headed on New Years Day .

Oops, I can hear a stirring!!!!!

Morning. Welcome to Mary, MrsM and Scoundrel. Will be good to have you on board.

So incredibly busy (as we all are I know) so best get ticking off that list. I have surprised myself by having only 4 small beers last night (then a cup of tea whilst thinking of you all!), 2 beers the night before and nothing at all for the 4 nights before that. So no hangover, no shame, no guilt. I am determined not to spend this Christmas in a drunk/hungover haze.

Have good days everyone. We're nearly there!!