The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

Morning everyone.

Venus I'm glad your DD is doing well. You must have been so worried about her.

Thurs I know exactly what you mean. Once I open a bottle it seems like all sense/experience goes out of the window.

Noteven hope you are OK. It must be so hard for you but if you don't drink you will get through this. Just focus on getting through each hour without a drink and before you know it you will be ticking off the sober days and then it will be January. You can do this .

I am feeling overwhelmed by Christmas actually. There is so much to do and all the pressure is on me. All the decorating, present-buying, cards, wrapping, food shopping, cooking etc, all my job (like it is in reality for many women). I have found myself hosting Christmas Day, Boxing Day plus the next day for our two families, with my scary parents staying over. In our bed (us sleeping on the floor downstairs). We are flying back to the UK to visit everyone and they all live there. Yet they will all be coming to me where I will not be in my own home. Plus I'm the only one with young children to look after too, plus no washing machine (long story) and DH not travelling back until a few days after us. I am feeling stressed and resentful that no-one has offered to help. I offered to do this a few months ago but now the reality is hitting home. I shouldn't have offered I suppose but then if I don't then no-one else will do it and people would be sad at Christmas . I offered and so I will do it (and I do want to do it really) but I have spent the last few days feeling permanently nauseous. The hard work is manageable but it is spending time with these people, particularly my parents, which I am dreading. The tension and friction will be so hard. These are big triggers for me and I just don't know how I will cope. Before I would have drunk. Loads. Now I know I don't want to do drink. What on earth am I going to do to escape from it or calm myself down? I feel like I've lost my sedative if you like. I don't want it back but the thought of being surrounded by the tension and the childhood memories is making my heart race. What can I do? No time to master meditation!

venus - very quick pop in, thank you for updating us about your brave DD. I'm so glad that the operation went well. Fingers crossed for a speedy recovery. Sending love and strength to you all xxxx

Will come and read back later xx

Morning

venus so, so glad your dd's op went well.

Mouse your little Nemo is a star, things are really looking up for him, you must be so proud. How are you feeling now? Have you managed to get a little rest and breathing space between hospital appointments and building catastrophes. I must say, it's never a dull moment in the Mouse House. If you had the time, you should write a book!

Tinselly I am seriously impressed by your selflessness and generosity in offering to do all that. Wow, what a load, no wonder you are anxious.

The best things I can suggest is that you make a list of things you can delegate and ask the family to help. If they are not going to offer you are going to have to ask for help.

Bear in mind, that they may all think you are ok, or that you already have help and won't know you are struggling unless you say!

Also, make sure you get at least one meal where you do nothing, if you can.

TTM - I'm sorry you are feeling so low about Christmas and the surrounding days. You are taking on an awful lot and as you say, not in your own environment.

So, can you 'leave' a few things for the days when you'll have visitors? Rope them in with peeling the veg? Washing up? Can anyone do some laundry for you? Sit down and do some lists of what needs to be done and then let everyone know that this year they will be pitching in, as you are the HOST, not a waitress/chef/washer-upper/chamber-maid etc.

Yes, you'd feel bad if you hadn't have offered and yes, at least if you do it it will be done but at what cost? You have a shit time of it because you are way, way past stressed out? Or you pull your big girl pants up (aka - your Bridget's) and delegate.

Also, it might be a good idea to hide a box of your fave chocolate somewhere only you know about so that you can sneak them as and when?

I just think that making lists and giving some of the others something to do from them will ease the pressure a wee bit.

You just have to let them help. I am the worst person for wanting everything done my way! xx

hi all
have done 1 load of washing, 1 run to the stables with DD, THREE visits to my father sigh, 2 visits to my mother, 1 run taking mother to local wild life place to buy a sack of bird seed, one bolognese in the slowcooker, all dad's cards posted/delivered - still have cards to put up and cake to marzipan! Oh yes, and period has just kicked in a week late!!!
Why do we women let ourselves be put upon and try and do everything for everyone. this seems to be a common question in the thread at the mo.

Because ma, if we don't do it, it won't get done will it? Or at least not how we want it to be done.

Sorry you're feeling crappy xx

TTM crikey that is a lot. As a bit of a professional ghost of general Christmas grumpiness, delegate cheerfully but politely and keep doing so. There is always a quiet space (if you leave small children with others) and that's the loo. You said to me 'an hour at a time' - I think you're going to have to take your own advice!

I am just down to the various assorted Christmas-time birthdays in turns of wrapping now, and have a streaming cold (was just sniffly y'day) as is so often the case at this time of year. Going to be an early night tonight I think.

i think my mum is going to die in the next few days

sorry that was a bit blunt......but i don't know who else to talk to

Oh Silver I'm so sorry. You poor thing. Is she in hospital at the moment or at home? X

Silver, my love, so sorry to hear that. I'm sending you love and hope that your mum is peaceful, and not in pain, so sorry for you, and your family. xxxx

Oh Silver I'm so sorry, that's been pretty quick from getting the news to this, I hope you can find some peace in these next days, that you will have them to look back on, and that the relationships with your siblings are as good as they possibly can be.

hi all, many thanks for the birthday wishes! spent my 49th b/d in bed (whatever happened to the girl who used to stay up all night partying every birthday? could it be im getting old? ) feeling a bit better today!

silver, ive pm'd you!

Silver I am so sorry. Everything seems so much more poignant at this time of year. Please feel free to tell us everything you are feeling, however bad it seems, you don't need to keep it in. I do hope your mum is out of pain, as much as she can be and that you get to spend some time with her. Sending love and strength x

oh silver

not a clue what to say. how is she? is she 'with it' enough to talk to, comfort, ? i hope you get some moments with her before the end.

i'm just so sorry x

Hope you are better again today jwn
Silver still thinking of you

Well, my daily check in. I have a cold and will have a busy (but in parts scary) day with DD and church and stuff. Slept a bit better. Still a lot of anxiety and fear but am trying to do all the right stuff, and break it down into tiny sections if I need to. Today I won't be drinking, and the day will inevitably be better for it. Love to all x

Thanks Babes for all your support x

Mum is in hospital - The Christie so the best possible place and she is totally lucid at the moment, but we think the cancer has spread to her bones although the doctors aren't saying much - but she hasn't seen one this weekend yet.

Will keep you all updated and at the moment I'm still planning to stop on the 27th xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Silver so sorry to hear your news, but well, well done on keeping up your motivation. My thoughts will be with you and your Mum today.
Noteven have a good day, just one small step at a time.

Off to face the supermarket, not the last shoppping trip, but plan to make the DC do the the errands for me next week

silver thinking of you!

Oh Silver I'm so sorry that your mum is back in hospital. And although she's in the best possible place for her care, I know you must find it incredible y hard to walk through those doors to see her.

Promise yourself something, live in the now for her. Keep your focus one the 'now'. Not on the 'what ifs or maybes'. No regrets.

Sending you all my love, you know where I am if you want to talk to me. I'll be on the end of the phone xxxx

Aaaargh!! lost my message as ran out of internet iyswim!
Off out now to meeting. Very tired, very very tough day. Tempted. Please, let me stay sober tonight. Love to all, Silver especially. I was dry - maybe not sober - but the memories are peaceful, as the time was.
x

Oh please, I pray that you stay sober tonight. I can understand your temptation, but I think that you can do it. It is so worth it, for your dd fo course, but much more so for you, and the person you are.

mouse are you ok? Sounds like you've had a tough day. Hope you are tucked up in bed.
silver how are things tonight?
noteven are you ok too?
Going to bed early here - have had a few glasses and need to stop and go to bed.

whose toady and what's he been doing to our mouse?

ok here.

zombie woman which is better than climbing the walls woman. i did however manage a bath, getting dressed and forcing myself out into muddy fields to walk the dog so progress has been made.

docs tomorrow.

thinking of everyone.

prob about a 3 but that's ok