The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

noteven thanks for the update and I'm glad to hear that you are ok and have a plan in place. Why do you think you should not post? I actually think it would do you the world of good to keep posting, even if you are just 'thinking aloud' about your recovery. The support here is tremendous. Honest and blunt, I'll grant you, but 24/7 support, advice and encouragement. I'm surprised people are not being referred to us by the NHS

ma aren't they saying don't go out unless you have to?

Personally I wouldn't want to risk it. But it will be a big disappointed, not to mention the waste of money . What are the latest reports?

ok, I phoned the theatre and they can re-seat us on Saturday night
that means I can stay in tonight and still see the show. Result.

Hello everyone!

Blimey it's a bit blowy isn't it? Hope we are all warm and staying inside tonight (result re theatre, Ma!).

Just a quickie to say hello. Doing well here :) Am really enjoying my hangover-free days, and even the alcohol-free evenings. No guilt, no shame, no anxiety about whether I will or won't have another drink. Having said that, I might have a drink tonight and I definitely will on Saturday so I'm not claiming total abstinence! Just doing a hell of a lot better than I thought I would.

Noteven, good to hear from you. Please keep posting, if it helps you at all. Good luck with the court. I hope you find the strength to do what you have to do. I'm glad you have people in real life to support you too x

Saf sorry you're struggling with the meds/anxiety etc. I hope you do find the energy to have a bath tonight (I know exactly what you mean!), it sounds like that's just what you need. Maybe try dropping subtle hints in your parents' direction too though?

Mouse I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of you complaining about something . I totally empathise :) about the shit customer service thing. It drives me totally INSANE. I expect shit service and for something to be broken/late etc these days. I'm rarely disappointed... I've been thinking about this kind of thing lately actually (during the counselling/psychotherapy what I am doing on myself )...and about what you said Jesus about your DD's father (sorry to hear about the upset by the way, but you didn't do anything wrong, it wouldn't surprise me if my step-dad, whom I grew up with, had another name, honestly). I have issues with people basically. From little things like customer service etc to massive things like Jesus's/SAF's ex's, how do people live with themselves/sleep at night/justify how they behave sometimes? I like to think that most people are good, decent (that's a crap word but hopefully you know what I mean!) people, but then I'm constantly shocked/disappointed etc. But I don't want to believe that most people are selfish, arrogant, thoughtless so-and-so's cos that's not healthy either. I have a basic distrust of people and don't forgive people easily either. I know I have issues and I'm trying to work through them but I need to know what my fundamental beliefs about the morality of human beings is first...any thoughts anyone? Do you a) presume most people are good, then be disappointed all the fecking time occasionally, or b) presume most people are a bit shit and then, yay, what a nice surprise when they're not?? And yes I know that's a bit simplistic but I like to have my rules/theories. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong

Sheesh, this was going to be a quick one.

Bye for now babes

aw thanks you lot! i dont give dds father much thought these days, he is just not on my radar of things to think about, we have always been totally honest with dd and answer any questions she has about him, it just never occured to me that she didnt know his name, she dosent appear in the least bit upset, just registered surprise really so im not worried about her, i just felt so very sad, not just for her but for him too really, all the things he has missed, it dosent bear thinking about.

now then! NOTEVEN!!! why on earth dont you deserve to have people care about you? are you evil? wicked? without consience? NO!! i dont reckon you are!! what you are is an alkie, you know it, we know it and so do SS, you now have two choices, get your life back or look to the bottom of the bottle to solve your problems - if you take the first choice i would recommend you stop feeling sorry for yourself, seize the day and the treatment offered and start again! you CAN do it, you CAN get your daughter back, stay with us, talk and then talk some more. i understand its not a good idea to talk about your daughters situation on here, im talking about YOUR general thoughts, worrys, how you feel, how you want to move forward, how we can help you do that - we are on your side, we want to see you better, we want to see you living in a lovely warm safe home complete with daughter! we care!

tinselly - i believe that most people are kind and decent, i will believe that to my dying day, to believe otherwise would turn me into a bitter and twisted old hag and i refuse to let a few shitty personalities do that to me! we all meet shitty people in life, i like to think karma will get them in the end!

saf what is 'the cloud'? It's obviously a long time since by dc were at school and personally I think that being sent to sit on a cloud sounds rather fabulous - all floaty and far away from the stress and busy-ness of a classroom. I'd beg to be sent there. That's presumably not the intention?

noteven i wasn't clear from your post whether you meant that you wouldn't post more about your dd's court situation (which sounds like the right thing to maintain your privacy) or whether you were intending not to post at all? If it was the latter then please re-think. I would love to hear how well you are doing again, and how you are progressing with sobriety. I believe that you will manage that.

tinselly I have another view - I like to believe that most people are doing the best they can, with the resources they have available to them. i.e. that people are inherently good and want to do good, but that that depends on what has gone on for them. So someone who has learnt throughout their life to trust others and to be confident in their own decisions and abilities is likely to respond differently e.g noticing that mouse's shower was broken, telling her about that (expecting a sympathetic response) and not delivering it (also expecting a sympathetic response from their boss). Someone who has learnt that people are angry and not to be trusted, and who are living in fear of being blamed, would probably deliver the shower and leave pdq - afraid of the reponse from mouse, and also afraid of being penalised by their boss if they didn't deliver it.

So I try (sometimes) to be nice to people who offer shit service, to sympathise with the difficult that they are having, in the vague hope that they might learn a different way of behaving if people are kind and lovely to them. At risk of sounding vomit-inducingly 'nice' , it has to be said that I am equally able to be mean, cutting and vitriolic, and I don't usually miss!

Eek, sorry, yes I don't want DD to be identifiable, or me, given that I intermittently give away roughly where we live and what I do, etc. I will definitely keep wittering my way through recovery, and no more self indulgent flouncing, I did only mean the details.
Off out to make tea and coffee for my regular AA meeting (don't want to go out in this really but it's probably not as bad as it is for many of you), just got to get up and get back on with it.

Hi Ladies, I posted in chat about this and LRD suggested I post here so after a read I think I will!

I am a SAHM to 2 under 3. I seldom drink during the week and if I did it would literally be just a small glass of good wine before I lose the urge. But it's when I go out there's a problem. Proper binge drinking where I seem to drink all my 3 monthly allowance in that one night!

I think a long period of abstinence is the way forward, tough over Christmas I know, but it's as good a time as any I guess. Anyway, 2.5 yr old on my lap who should be in bed, so gotta fly. Will be back. Does anyone have any experiences of binge drinking turning into bona fide problem drinking? Spending too much, talking to randoms for too long, sickness for days afterwards....it's not actually worth it, is it?

hi all
been off the bus.....
hope u accept me back on ..

looks like not ......

Hey CFC

Welcome to the Bus. You certainly sound as if you know how to have a good time? Maybe you should stop projecting about the coming nights of festivities and think about the weekend coming up.

When you say you go all out over the weekend, I take it you have no DC responsibility's so this is your time off? I think most of us can relate to having time out no matter how it comes about.

That feeling of freedom and even relief, that you've done your bit, you know that your DC will be safe and well but you can do as you please to a certain degree......

I think I can say for sure that I've drunk too much, ended up talking to strangers, going home with them too in years gone by.

I don't think, well, IME, that you would necessarily go on to be a problem drinker but in the same respect there's nothing to say you won't.

Drinking and alcoholism is a very private and personal thing to each of us. The only common theme is the alcohol itself. Maybe you should try and cut down of a weekend, start with a soft drink and then work your way up. Alternate your alcohol with your soft drinks.

Thing is, something tells me you aren't wanting that. You rather like the blow out, the getting off your face and forgetting all about your week.

If I'm wrong then I apologies but for me, your post reads that you are enjoying your weekends but are worried that somewhere down the road, things may no longer be in your control?

Did anyone hear, 'Woman's Hour' today? With Virginia Ironside and Oz Clarke?

tryandtry - don't be daft, of course we will. Just because you don't get an instant reaction doesn't mean we don't want you lovely.

Take a seat.

TTM- see what you did there with the empathy, thank you xx

JWN - I'm so sorry to read your post, I really feel for you my love. I'm sure that in days to come, I'll be facing the same issues with DD and her feckless excuse of a sperm doner father.

sorry

thanks everyone. i did put out hints and even a request to parents and mentioned i'm going through a meds change - there was reluctant uming and ahing and we'll talk about it tomorrow stuff. usually they're very keen and tbh spoilt bratish as it sounds having been away for over a month and now back for nearly a week without inviting him over feels a bit mean. not to mention she just ignored me saying i was struggling with a meds change (don't tell me about your worries i don't want to know vibe). ho hum.

i'll be fine.

venus - there's a chart at the front with a dark cloud, a smiley face and a superstar and each child has their own token/thing. so going on the cloud means having your name put on it with all the class to see and being in the most trouble they're aware they can get in. imo the naughtier kids couldn't give a toss and the good kids are worrying themselves silly when it's really not there for them.

welcome to those joining and re-joining. sorry not got a lot to offer at the minute.

mean to ds i meant btw not to me (though i could feel that way if i let myself). he got all excited that granny and granddad were coming back and had really missed spending time at their house with them and yet nothing has been forthcoming. all a bit odd.

So, tryandtry - where are you up to with the drink? xx

Saf - sky writing might help? Give them a gentle nudge?

Sorry that you are still struggling in your own skin, you know where I am, anytime okay? I hope that your parents take the hint, they've been away for a month, you think they'd want to see DS xx

hey ..mousie
im still drinking
surprise surprise .................
but feeling kind of positive in a weird sort of way ....

Try - good. Grab hold of that positive feeling, no matter how small and run with it. Hold onto it. It's yours. xx

Hello tryandtryagain. Have you been on the bus before? I've not been here long. You can sit next to me if you like!
Glad you're feeling positive, that will definitely go a long way. Let us know how you're getting on.

Thanks for replying before to my brain dump, venus and Jesus. Lots to think about there. I am realising I need to get to the root of my triggers, and one of them is getting too upset/frustrated/angry/baffled by people who behave in ways I don't agree with or like, whether it's important stuff or not. Much work to do. But I am making progress on this journey. Whoever named this place a bus is a genius!

Saf you sound down. I wish the bus could whisk you off to Babeland. I'm afraid I don't understand your parents either. Mine have never, ever offered to babysit and my eldest is nearly nine. I can't wait to be able to help my DC out in the future, I bet you'll be the same with your DS. Sorry, that doesn't help. I hope you have a nice, hot bath tonight and that tomorrow is a better day for you.

mouse I hope you kicked ass this afternoon.

Hello to everyone else. Will catch up properly tomorrow

Right you gorgeous lot, I'm off to bed. We have a critical/crucial/ VIP appointment tomorrow that could shape Nemo's future. I need at least an hour or two fo broken sleep so I'm heading to bed.

Stay safe and stay strong Babes xx

Welcome to those who are back with us for the journey, those who are old hand, stay seated through the storm and those who are lurking, feel free to take a ticket at anytime and come say hi

Night night all xxxxxx

night. i'm off too. going to read more of the knapp book in bed. am chock full of kalms and the like so fingers crossed for sleep not head racing

RIGHT - I have been off this bus for far too long - Try and cfc - here are your tickets - open ended - you can get on and off the bus as many times as you need to - BUT, it would be better if you stayed on board, if you can............

Hoping everyone else is doing OK

bed for me too xxxxxxxx