The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

HI everyone, just been tying to catch up as I realise its been aaaaaaggggges since I last posted. DRink wise I'm still doing OK, still on about half what I was drinking this time last year but as usual I should be cutting down a bit more. DC's are doing really well although there have been some issues with their Dad as my DS especially isn't happy staying when his Dad's girlfriend and son are there as my XH tends to have blinkers for his girlfriend and forget his children.

Have been seeing a guy for abour 6 weeks now and its going really really well, he is lovely.

How are you Noteven, please keep posting as everyone on here just want the best for you and you DD. IS she with you, did SS just take her temporarily?

Hi Silver good to see you so upbeat. YOur posts do make me smile.

Hi MOuse

Hey Zany - nice to see you posting on here. Sorry to hear that you XH is still being a shit. Sadly he won't realise what he has with them until it's too late.

How's your love life? xx

Love life is amazing good thanks. OK I admit to being in love but taking things cautiously. He is a lovely guy, good fun, really kind etc. I've met his sister who he is close to and she is lovely. I'm meeting his best friend and girlfriend this weekend. He has sent flowers to me, brings little gifts if I have a bad day and even a present for the dog so my DD already likes him although they haven't met him but keep asking me about him. Nemo sounds like he is doing well, how are your DD and wolf

Morning all.

noteven do keep posting and letting us know how you are.

I am not doing that well. My plan to cut down by alternating and doing all those other little tricks fell away. Today I WILL NOT BE DRINKING. I also felt disturbed by the alcoholic character in This Charming Man as I felt that it could well be me in a few years time.

Have DH's office Xmas do tonight. A hard day to not be drinking for the first time in months, but I simply have to stop. I am tired of this being in my life.

Hope you all have good days.

Zany - how lovely to hear that you are happy at last . Your man sounds just right for you. I love little gifts just turning up, flowers and the like. Makes me realise that I am still more than a mummy and a carer.

DD is in bed poorly with this damn cough/cold bug that's doing the rounds, she wanted to go back to school this morning but DH took one look at her and sent her back to bed. She must be bad for him to say that!

Wolfy is gorgeous, his coat is thick and fluffy ready for winter but he is beginning to show tendencies towards liking the heat instead of the cold! Like today, it's blowing a hooly out there, cold and blustery so I kept him in. He's decided that he wants to be out now so out he went.

Goodness it's wild out there! Hold on tight to something ma or I'll see you flying past the window

I have always hated reading books with alcoholic characters in them - far too close for comfort. I like to read for escapism, not to have my own danger points thrust back at me. But I do like autobiographical books - is the Caroline Knapp book autobiographical? I think for me that the difference is that I 'engage' too much with the character in a story, whereas with a biography, I KNOW that the person is someone else, not me. Don't know if that makes sense.

winter I can see that today is a hard day to make a big change, but maybe that's a good thing. Do you have tactics to help yourself tonight? These are my favourite tried and tested approaches:

• make sure you know what you are going to ask for to drink (and a back-up in case your first choice is not available)
• have a good reason (I've got a headache, I've been feeling a bit sick, I've got to drive) so that other people don't put pressure on you.
• take 2 lists with you, one that has all the postive reasons for being sober (clear head in the morning, enjoying the food etc), and another that has all the negative aspects of being drunk (speaking too loudly, feeling crap in the morning... etc). If you feel your resolve wavering, go somewhere quiet and read them.
• take a little tube of toothpaste with you and keep cleaning your teeth (wine tastes horrid after toothpaste) - it also tastes quite rubbish after mayonnaise, strepsils, fisherman's friends (and probably some other things).
• it is actually easier to have nothing to drink, that to try and have a couple, and then stop.
• as other people get drunk, notice what is happening to them and be glad that it is not you.
• notice that some people (normal drinkers) actually don't drink very much.

And enjoy yourself.

Thanks venus all good ideas. I especially like the two lists idea. Other people are so boring when they are drunk!

I helped a friend move house yesterday and then we split a bottle of wine. I had not eaten so it went to my head, and I ended up telling her something about my DH that I really should have kept to myself, as he would be upset if he knew I had talked about it. I feel terrible today as I feel I have betrayed him. But I lose my inhibitions and vent when I have had a few.

Winter - what's done is done so please don't beat yourself up about it. Maybe in your subconscious you had to share what your DH told you because it was a burden to you IYSWIM?

Loving all of the suggestions from venus

Today is another day Winter so don't beat yourself up about it. I am the same after a few drinks, I tend to keep other peoples secrets very well but tell everyone my own

Good tips Venus

sheesh, its getting scary out there....the snow is on its way, possible power cuts, wind screaming like a banshee. DS home from school early and the house shaking. Living in a flat under the roof in an old building is no fun is this weather

Stay safe, ma. Windy here too, and we have lost part of the garage roof, but nothing too bad yet.

Thanks all. DH is a very private person and the issue was something that has caused us both alot of pain (to do with a former relationship). But I usually prefer to keep things 'in house'.

But today IS another day! I am home from work now, and usually have opened a bottle by now to 'celebrate'. Not today though! peppermint tea all the way.

Hope you are all having very good days.

it is majorly wild out there. been to do some shopping and then to singing rehearsals - aargh! can't see us being particularly ready for the performance on the 18th but must be confident i guess. (i sense humiliation afoot)

the wind is crazy.

my tree came in a right state - pot and packaging full of slushy mud creating a right old mess. have been on the phone with people and they're supposed to be getting back to me. not a chance i'm paying for it - it's also been pruned so ridiculously that it's a big hole on one side with the other full at the top. hard to describe but not good. haven't opened the other bits i ordered from them as i'm quite ready to tell them they can pick the lot up and take it back unless they refund me for the tree. ra ra ra.

bit panicky again - have cut tablets down further today. am ok though.

hope everyone is ok, sorry for flying post x

oh and now it's started pissing it down do love getting soaked and blown away on the school run

It's violent. That's the only way to describe the rain and wind here. It's actually hitting the windows so hard I'm scared they'll blow in!

My brand new shower enclosure is damaged, a day later than it was supposed to be so the builder had to be here an extra day and he can't even install it. How fucked off am I? Plus another power lead has arrived for Nemo's feed set. Now we have 3.

Why can't people get things right? Why is it that I'm always on the phone chasing people to do their jobs, provide better customer service, answer the e-mails I send........ I think that they all know it drives me nuts to not get the results I expect when I buy a product or use a service.

Fuckers.

Saffy - you sure you're okay? Nothing to heavy setting you off. The tree is fixable as is my shower. Keep on at them xx

Ma - You sound scared, you okay my lovely? xx

you tell me mouse - the world is staffed by incompetent fools!!

no i'm not ok. tree is fixable of course. but yeah, short fused, weird electric shock sensations, anxiety sky high etc but i am managing itms. just got to get out in this hell and drag ds home and then i'm batoning the hatches or whatever they say.

i could do with massively sedating drugs, a hot bath and a child free house. none of which is on the agenda. might manage the bath i guess if i've still got the energy to pour it after doing dinner and bedtime for ds

Saf - the bath sounds ideal. Remember when I said I had those feelings of 'dropping'? Like descending in a plane? I've got that tenfold today, that and the tingling in my arms.

It's a very strange feeling, like the floor isn't beneath me.

What have they said about the tree Saf?? Are they going to sort it for you? Is there anyway that DS can go to GPs house? Or your DSis? You sound like you need to break the cycle. You could do with only being responsible for you for a while.... xx

Sorry, I made that all about me didn't I?

no you didn't!

parents have only been home since sunday and have not even made murmuring sounds about having/seeing ds. sis is busy with her own stuff.

ds is upstairs 'calming down' after a nightmare walk home with him shouting and whining and being a horror. calming down so far equals sitting at the top of the stairs screeching 'i'm sorry' in a tone that sounds more like 'i'm going to kill you'

best go sort. roll on bedtime. i do need a break but don't feel i can ask anyone.

turns out some boy at school is scaring him saying he's going to get him in trouble by telling the teacher lies about him. god some people breed early starting little shits. will write a letter now to put in his bookbag and arrange to speak to teacher after school.

saf - i used to find that strange weather made dd act very strange strong winds made her most peculiar (you are right about some people and their kids though!)

i have had a horrible shock today and i feel like the worst mother in the world right now, dd has 'lost' her birth certificate (im sure she has it, she is sure i have it) and had to go and ask for a replacement, the poor little bugger had to phone and ask me her fathers full name he was always known by his nickname, which was a shortened middle name iyswim? and it never occured to me to tell her his proper name - i feel absolutly dreadful, how fucking jeremy kyle she was so surprised when i told her his real name, it was a revealation to her dh says it is a small thing and nothing to worry about, but it has really upset me, just another confirmation of the way he has rejected her over the years i suppose, she is so precious to me that i still cant get my head round his behaviour i guess.

i know just what you mean jesus - similar situations here but at the younger end of the scale. sad isn't it? and no, i don't know how one gets their head around someone rejecting their own child - i think that's a sign that we are decent human beings and therefore can't imagine it.

you've done nothing wrong x

to put the ds thing in context he has already had a panic attack in school this term because him and a child disagreed and they ran off and he was convinced they were going to tell the teacher and he'd be put on the cloud for it. he got himself into a right state and wouldn't tell the teacher what was wrong even though she was worried sick that he was so upset and scared. some little boy tapping into his terror and making out he can get him into trouble is not helpful. think the teacher will understand my concern as she worked hard to reassure him that he is a good boy and you don't just get put on the cloud for any little thing.

agree about the wind - teaching on windy days used to be hellish as they were all so psyched up.

Hi everyone,
It is crazy out there, and is it worse the further North you go? - stay safe ma, venus, jwn, Bafana and all other Scots I've missed.
I am by myself at home. But tbh I brought this on, and if I was going to do something stupid I'll do it anywhere. I have phone numbers, a warm house, and people that still care about me even though I don't deserve it so it's just back to a day at a time.
I have to go to court with SS on Monday, don't really want to post about it here, and am starting an outpatient program on Tuesday that will be daily and will hopefully get me back in the right direction but won't mean I have to go away to any sort of rehab and not be able to see DD. I don't think I should really post any more.
Hope those that have shared financial struggles have sufficient heat now it's getting so cold. Admittedly I don't heat every room but it is good to be able to turn the heating on without terror about the bill. Love to all and thank you for all your lovely kindnesses.

Jesus that's really sad for you but how does your dd feel about it. I had my dad with me all through my childhood but there are still hundreds of things I don't know about him. When I applied for my first adult passport I had to ask him his place and date of birth.

Saf do you really feel unable to ask your parents to help? Just because they haven't offered, doesn't mean they aren't willing. Why not see if they can collect him from school tomorrow. Any chance they could have him overnight as well? It doesn't hurt to ask, they can always say no.

Winter I found it easier to cut out drinking days, rather than to cut out drinks iyswim? So I have an alcohol free day as often as I feel I can each week and if I do drink it's usually just Saturday evening or Sunday lunch.

Also, to start with I found it easier to not socialise unless I really had to. It would be much harder for me to not drink if I was out almost every night so I turned down a couple of party invites.

Nice to hear from you zany

Bit windy here today but I am way south so no gales yet.

noteven good to hear from you. good luck with court. you can do this, you can. I really hope you can get the help you need
mouse i am a bit scared. i don't like the wind and this is really screaming and banging round the house. I have gone into survival mothering mode and made leek and potato soup and fairy cakes, so that's tea sorted lol. Just so undecided about going to theatre tonight - it is SUCH a rare treat for DH and I and badly needed, and the tickets cost £80 which is a King's ransom and I will be so sad if we have to abandon it but this weather, now coupled with the pitch dark is scary....
saf Jesus hi and hang in there