The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Spread The Festive Cheer, Without The Beer!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm mouse.

I have an obsession with drinking, I can't have a drink, not just one..... it has to be more. Always more.

So, I got on the Bus, this Bus, full of Brave Babes who will help and support me all the way. Come say hi, grab a seat and a . We're a real mixed bunch that share one thing without any doubt - alcohol abuse.

And if you want to read about our history, it's HERE

See you on the Bus xx

Noteven has been working hard at maintaining her sobriety, and only yesterday everyone was applauding her for the way things are between her and her daughter.
Now suddenly she is being shot down, has anyone wondered why she is going to the hospital? She doesn't say she is going for a hospital appointment, just that she is going to the hospital. Maybe now is not the time to judge her, she is obviously in a bad way.

venus - she has suggested that I distract him, which DH and I had already decided was the best way after one of the Brave Babes had suggested I think...... so far so good. xx

i don't believe she was being shot down obrigada and i doubt she does either given she has been sober for a long time and dealt with the issues brought up here herself already.

it's not even about 'tough love'. it's about pulling someone off of a suicidal path (denial, blame, refusing to take responsiblity) that is trying to seduce her away from all that she has achieved.

noteven - get thee to meetings asap. whatever the hospital was about i hope it goes well.

if i'm ever on a track that could see me losing my son forever you all have my explicit permission to please, please pull me off of it.

Maybe you are right SAF and she won't feel like she is being shot down, but what I took from her posting is that she is in a very bad place today.

of course she is!

Posted before I finished SAF

... And therefore no need to kick her when she is down surely?

whose kicking? do you think she will EVER get her child back if she says it wasn't her fault, she did nothing wrong, theyre picking on her because she's a single mum etc?

do you think blaming and denying will get things sorted or get her pouring a bottle of booze down her neck in a sea of self pity?

i personally think noteven is better than that and knows better than that and i don't believe she can go as in depth with the AA path as she has done without knowing full well that her biggest enemies are self pity, denial and blaming other people for the consequences of her alcoholism.

i'm sorry if you think i'm a bitch obrigada but i am trying to help her - i do not believe saying there, there, poor you would do that.

the intention is not to kick but to offer a hand up, back up to where she was in dealing with her issues which she didn't achieve through self pity and denial but through bravely facing the truth.

i obviously don't want to argue with you obrigada and don't believe us doing that would do anything for her at all.

I understand what you are saying SAF and do agree with you, I just think that today it's not what she needs to hear! Will go back to lurking!

i'm sorry if you think i'm a bitch obrigada but i am trying to help her - i do not believe saying there, there, poor you would do that.

the intention is not to kick but to offer a hand up, back up to where she was in dealing with her issues which she didn't achieve through self pity and denial but through bravely facing the truth.

Exactly.

It would be oh so easy for me to give up and say fuck it, I'm sick of fighting, I'm sick and tired of it being me all of the time.

The truth hurts but it also saves lives.

When is the right day Obrigada - do you know something that we don't? I mean that genuinely. Is something happening that makes today okay to not say anything?

i promise that i dont ever look to kick a person when they are at their lowest but saying 'oh poor you, isnt life unfair' will not help noteven today! she is at the lowest a mother can get, her baby has been taken away because she choose to drink - i say it again, if she wants her life and her baby back she needs to get a fucking grip!, she knows what to do and i for one will be on this thread cheering her on and offering what ever help i practically can (which people on here did for me!), what i wont do is bang my head against a brick wall of denial!

noteven you were doing so well. You were thrilled to get your dd back. Then things got very difficult for you, emotionally. You shared some of that with us but you did not ask for help. You could have reached out to us, we are all here for you. You should have reached out and said, I'm desparate, I'm tempted, I'm cracking. I need help. We would have been there to hold your hand, talk you through it, to talk some sense into you.

Yes, the alcohol is always there, always calling. It always will be. Does that mean you give up, give in? No, you make a choice. You decide every day to not drink and you use every last ounce of everything you know you can do to stick to that. That's what your dd is worth and that's what people are trying to tell you.

There is no other reason why she was taken is there? You drank. You could have turned to AA, to the church, to us but you turned to the bottle. Now that's done. What next. Like Jesus said in the begining "What Next"? (Our JWN of course, not the other one).

Next, you take responsibility. You accept what you did, you drag yourself back up and start again. Today is no different to any other day. All you need to do is decide to not drink. Everything else will follow. I for one am more than happy to support you but I don't think your dd needs my prayers, I think she needs her mummy to just not drink.

i had a bit of a chuckle at the idea of the original jesus on the cross saying, 'what next?!' sorry.

i didn't drink in the day today (have been having a beer in the afternoon of late) and have just poured myself a glass of cheapo 12% fake baileys over a lot of ice. i'm probably drinking the equivalent of a quarter of a glass of wine so i'm ok with having a couple of these of an evening if i feel the need for the 'comfort' of a drink.

meds change not so bad so far. only been reduced to 40mg for 4 days now and am just starting to feel a bit of a dip. in a couple of days i have to drop to 20mg - think that's when things will really get tough. i have a tendency to get really bad withdrawal syndrom (it was that that led to me ending up in near dead in hospital which i confessed to earlier today) so obviously i really must mind myself and if you don't mind babes i will post on here daily and make mention of how i'm doing with it - sorry i know it's off topic but the mental health and drinking and basic self care stuff all goes hand in hand for me and i could do with the extra eyes tbh and reminders that if i start feeling really down/desperate/anxious/self loathing/whatever it is for a reason not because reality or me have suddenly changed to shit iyswim.

i have just spent a fortune ordering christmas decorations, lights and a real pot grown christmas tree online all being delivered tomorrow. decided that feck it the tax rebate was an unexpected boon and some of it should go on making christmas special for ds who is desperate for a real tree this year.

how is everyone else doing?

so yes - the plan for tomorrow is to get out what presents i have so far for ds and wrap them and get an idea of what i've got and how much more i'm looking for and then to decorate my christmas tree when it comes

i've decided i need a good christmas so will make it so.

I feel okay re the drop in meds so far, day 4 here too. I had a bit of a wobble at about 11am, like a huge dip on a roller coaster. Then nothing, I felt much better.

So if you post on here every day, we can 'feel' any changes for you too I guess? As long as you post, we'll know you are okay, or at least still able to communicate.

That was always my worry, that I'll have to 'shut down' because I don't want to communicate or be involved.

Do you think that this (Citalopram) kind of drug has that effect on people? The whole gliding at 60mg, then having to drop can be scary. I was worried and I still am about going down.

Sorry for the me post Saf but I want to understand how you feel to see if I have anything similar? I know it affects everyone differently.

I'm waffling so I'm going to go eat.

Be back later. Sorry for waffle xxxxx

Saf - I say this for us all I hope when I say that we'll mind you xxxxx

saf I think that it is a great idea to post on here about how you're feeling. I've noticed that sometimes people post about doing fine, but you can read the difference in their posts, and think 'hmm I wonder what's going on there'. Then a few days later we find out. It's as though from a distance we do see things that the person inside doesn't grasp (or doesn't want to).

Hoping all are having a safe, warm evening.

venus - I feel that too, the 'something's is going on' vibe. I got it with you before you told us about DD.

How is she? Any news? I'm sending love to you all up there in the freezing cold.

I'm off to try and do the last feed for Nemo. The power lead for the pump wasn't delivered even though they promised it would be, so I have yet another night of syringe feeds and puking. Poor little man is so out of sorts, he just wants it to all be normal again.

And so do I. I'll be ripping someone a new arse-hole in the morning. DO NOT MESS WITH AN OVER-TIRED AND HORMENTAL MOUSE!

Night night lovely Babes, I hope that tonight brings peace and serenity to those who have been fighting all day, all of you xx

I'm available for Saf watch too I think it's a great idea. I secretly wish everyone could post a lot more frequently just to let us know they're ok or having a wobble. (Did you see that Isinde ? MsGee ?) I do wonder how everyone is.

Had a bit of an emotional evening myself here after a falling out with dd. Kids can be so fecking selfish sometimes especially know-it-all teenagers. Grrrr. But have had it out with her and let her know, in no uncertain terms how I feel about it. Okay. Breathe. Calm. And relax

Faire I'm ok, and having a wobble, because of the job I do, I really don't know how to respond to noteven at the moment, I hope that you are ok noteven, I hope that you get the help you need, but I can't be much help because of what I know, and have to try and repair.

I am not judging, just trying to process it.

Love to all
xxxxxxx

wobble in the "what can I do sense" not the drink sense!

Thanks for checking in Thurso, that's what ah'm talkin' bout. Can you tell I'm watching an american road trip show .

Glad your wobble does not involve drinking, me neither. What's stressing you out about work? Is it just neverending? So many people seem to be expected to do the job of two people these days. Everyone's chasing their tails, trying to catch up. But better to be busy than kicking your heels I guess.

How many cliches did I use there

Y'all come back now y'hear.

OK I'll stop now.

Exam results for my children who shouldn't be doing any!!!!!

Have a good evening Faire y'hear me

Hey babes

Checking in. Just got home from hospital from Mum's Chemo - they were running 4 hours late so been a loooooooooooooong day. However, we can't complain because the care she is getting is so fantastic. And she is feeling better HURRAH.

Noteven I have no idea what to say I am quite literally speechless.

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaay - went to the Docs today - my lurverly Dr Gorgeous has left the practice so...........

saw a new lurverley laydee Doc

Am starting home de-tox on 27th December - Christmas out of the way and I never gave a flying fk about new year.

One day at a time.

She wanted me to get involved with CAT team but I told her about this thread and she thought it was fantastic..............

So BBs - prepare for the 27th as you lot are my back up team.

It feels so good to post again properly now I have a plan in place.

Too knackered to name check but

Bed calling - mad busy at work at the moment but be back on soon as I can.

Good Night you gang of gorgeous, determined, vulnerable at times, strong at times, self-willed, obstinate, rude, witty, lazy, obsessed, confident, proud but most of all BLOODY BRAVE BABES

mwhaaa mwa mwa x