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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP's obsession with me really stressing me out

84 replies

SmallMachine · 16/11/2011 14:11

DP is always going on about other men contacting me. On halloween I went out with friends which he went on and on and on about before I actually went out saying he wanted to come with me and why am I wearing that and why why why - anyway on this night out I bumped into an old college friend. Don't know him that well, never any romantic connection but a familiar face so obviously we talked and a photo of him "strangling" me (complete with zombie attire) appeared on facebook. Now DP goes on and on about this bloke, especially since the guy texted me afterwards saying he'd like to arrange a night out with a few people from college and has text me since then about silly stuff (old woman on train dancing etc) which he sends to everyone. DP is obsessed with him, calls him a tosser, says he hates him (has never met him) and that he doesn't want me going on a night out if this bloke is going!! so already I'm feeling that if I DO decide to go on this night out, I'm going to have to lie about who else is going because it's a damn site easier than telling DP this guy will be there.

He's also going on and on about my ex. I havn't seen my ex in over 4 years but he occasionally posts something stupid on my facebook wall - (eg. "look at this south park video, so funny lol" ) and again DP HATES my ex, wants to punch him, insists he wants to get back with me etc etc

Last weekend we went out with a group of his friends and he insists that ALL the blokes in the bars were "eyeing me up" and thats why he worried when I go out alone. I do not get "eyed up" more than any other average 30 year old!! He went off in a mood yesterday because I added a couple of his friends (one male, one female) to facebook afterwards (simply to see the photos from the night out but also because I and could well imagine myself being a part of this social circle as we all got on so well) but DP is now worried that I fancy this male friend and I found out today that straight after he discovered I'd added his friend, he tried to add my best friend to HIS facebook (who he briefly met once) presumably to make a point!! (me and friend just find it hilarious so he's made himself look a bit daft really!).

But in all seriousness it is REALLY stressing me out. He constantly goes on and on about it, second guesses everything I do, everything I wear, everything I say - has recently suggested that condoms are missing from my bedside table Hmm and gives me a hard time everytime I go out to the point where I'm starting to avoid going out as it's easier Sad A christmas do has been arranged and yesterday he went in a mood because he learnt that over blokes are going - because naturally I'll have to sleep with them all.

It's ok for other men to send the occasional text or facebook message isn't it?? It's ok for me to go out alone with friends and not expect a massive inquisition about it isn't it? This isn't right is it?

OP posts:
Redrubyblue · 17/11/2011 12:00

He hates my ex and wants to punch him

I think you will find he will hate anyone that takes up any of your thoughts/time/emotions etc.

Also he doesn't really want to punch your ex - I think he is saving that up for you.

squeakytoy · 17/11/2011 12:01

I would say 100% the same OP Proud. Writing style is identical.

I did actually have a few doubts about it being genuine with the last thread, it was all too predictable with cliffhanger updates at the right points.. (ie the spiked drink saga)... BUT.. on the assumption that it isnt someone with too much time on their hands and a yearning to write tales... we have to take it at face value I suppose.

Proudnscary · 17/11/2011 12:05

Yes that thread was incredibly dubious squeaky

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 17/11/2011 12:29

OP has two kids aged 11 and 13 in another thread. These children have never been mentioned in any of these 'DP' threads and I would have thought they'd be a massive factor.
People have invested a lot of time and energy in replying to these posts, it makes my blood boil Angry

Thingumy · 17/11/2011 12:40

Are you not supposed to report 'trolls' if you suspect one? Hmm

BearWith · 17/11/2011 12:49

Yeah, just report the OP if you have reason to believe they are a troll. Threads like this can still be useful for those actually in a similar situation, even if the OP isn't genuine.

Proudnscary · 17/11/2011 12:56

I am not actually saying it's a troll - I think OP is yanking our chains and I don't think it's fair. OP would be better off saying the other threads were hers if they were, then everyone can stop wondering and start helping.

Bearwith - it can be useful to a point, but it can end up being counter productive when posters trying to help start to feel duped or manipulated and the thread takes a different turn.

squeakytoy · 18/11/2011 00:44

Hmmm... see I knew that the zombie thing sounded familiar, but that was posted by "coffeecoldturkey".. so there must have been a few jealous dp's, whose non-live in partners went out on their own that night, and had their photo took whilst being "strangled" by someone they knew...

"There is also a pic on there of me with another bloke (nothing dodgy, the guy is covered in fake blood and pretending to strangle me lol)"

peasandlove · 18/11/2011 01:44

OP should stay with this guy until she no longer has friends, doesnt leave the house and sits around all day looking like a slob. By this time, she will no longer be desirable to her "DP" so he'll start looking online for something else, cheat on her, and leave her an insecure lonely person.

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