Okay I'm back. I was away from the PC all day yesterday. I haven't read many of the comments yet, I have a very sick dd2 upstairs I need to sort out.
I still have the savings cards. There is money in there. Not as much as I thought we had, but more than I need. I know in PIN. I'm keeping hold of the card for now and it's no longer in our house, so it's definately safe.
We spent all day talking yesterday (between cleaning up dd2's vomit 
). He knew I was unhappy and things were bad but he didn't know how unhappy or bad or for how long it been had going on. He accepts that the way he has treat me lately is not right. But to be fair to him I give as much as I get.
He wants me to stay and try and work on things at least until after x-mas. I can keep hold of the card and have control of the savings and if things are still bad after x-mas he will help me move, but he wants me to have more cash behind me and move somewhere nicer than where I had planned. He doesn't the children being brought up next door to drug dealers and addicts, but accpets that anything would be better than listening to us scream at each other.
The argument started because he said he wants me to give up my training and exercise classes. He admitted he is jealous that I have the time to do things like this and the cash to when he doesn't, even though he works longer hours than me. He also admitted he is afraid if I loose enough weight I might find someone better.
We are struggling with bills a lot more than I thought and this has been worrying him. He has admitted he takes a lot out on me and he needs to stop doing this. He had thought that because I shout back I wasn't that upset by it and I just forget about it later on, like he does.
He also feels trapped by my dogs and hates being left alone in the house with them when I am at work because one of them snaps at him all the time and the other two just don't listen to him. He spends most of the night trying to manage them. He whinges about them a lot which causes arguments and he ends up sending me nasty texts half the night while I am working. He has agreed that immediately jumping down my throat about them when I get in from work isn't going to help matters.
After talking we've come up with a few things we both want to work on. I'm going to show him how to properly manage the dogs and he is going to listen to me this time. He's going to start help exercise the two calmer dogs but doesn't think he could manage my terrier and the children at the same time and I need to be more patient with him about the dogs and stop loosing my temper when he struggles with them and show him what to do instead of scowling at him or swearing at him. I grew up with dogs. I know how to manage their behavioural issues, he doesn't. He doesn't feel safe with my terrier, but accepts that he hasn't really worked with him either. He knows the dog is going no-where so he has to start working on their issues.
He is going to start cleaning up his shit while I am at work and making sure the children have clean uniform ready for the next morning.
He's not going to text me constantly while I am at work.
If he starts feeling like he is loosing his temper he's going to go for a walk instead of shouting and swearing.
We're going to start eating meals together at the table on an evening. He's always ate in the living room because the way the children behave at the table gets him down, but he realises it's not fair to leave me to deal with them all the time on my own. He hadn't realised I was bothered that much by us not eating together as a family.
We're going to start going out as a family together every Sunday. Dd1 has decided we should go to the local outdoors center the first week.
There are things I do that upset him too. I'm going to cut down smoking and use some of the money I save to help pay off some of the smaller bills and ease things for him a bit and he wants me to stop sitting in a different room to him all the time, although he accepts that it's his ranting and selfishness that causes this.
He's going to see the doctor about his snoring, so I can finally get some sleep.
He wants me to help him with his own weight issues and he wants to start doing some training himself. He thinks he'd manage better if we did it together.
I have no idea if anything will work or if he even means it. This is first time he has been honest and accpeted any of the blame for himself. It could just be another game. It probably is another game, but I'll give it a shot for a week or two, whilst keeping control of the savings. With the kind of account it is you cannot access it without the card, so he can't transfer any of the money or draw it out. He'd have to order a new card, which would be delieverd here anyway and he's never home for the post. I am.
I'm off to clean up more vomit now and see to dd2, so I might not get chance to get back on the 'puter, but just wanted to let you all know I'm okay.