Sister self-destructing and raped

[svodop]

Current crisis - She seems desperate to spend Christmas with her ex and pay off all her debts by joining the porn industry in a foreign country for 1 month. Cash in hand, hundreds per day.

Her dad paid for the initial flights (I'm scared its one way). I said no when she asked me for the money with a story about an internship.

I live in the UK; she flew from Australia via heathrow to east europe and then onto final destination, where she will make enough money to fund further travel and pay everyone off.

This starts for me when I got an email from her in-transit waiting for the next leg of her flight asking for $50, just until tomorrow when her flatmate will transfer the money he owes her. I said it was impossible as I was at work, couldn't get to the airport before her next flight and wouldn't get into the transit lounge anyway. Also any bank account I have would take 3 days to transfer to hers.

This story has come out in dribs and drabs when she has been able to get on the internet but this is what I have pieced together:

Before she got on the first flight she was raped by 4 men and made a statement with the police who did nothing (so in Oz). They also stole her money which led to her in-transit email to me. No one knows about this other than me and she asked me to not tell Mum.

She got to Prague, stayed with and was lent some money by a friend she met on the plane (and also had sex with on the plane). She was kicked out by said friend so was essentially homeless in Prague but had a pre-booked flight coming up.

She hid her luggage in some bushes, which got stolen but she found them again and this caused her to miss that booked flight.

She got caught busking by the police, swore at them and one of them hit her across the head.

She has slept at the airport for 2 days. A friend from home booked her another flight which she also missed because it didn't include enough of a luggage allowance (easyjet) and she didn't have any money to pay for more.

I was about to pay for another flight to the UK when she was arrested by the airport police for stealing alcohol and they were demanding that she pay a fine before they let her go. The fastest that I could get that money to her was by flying over the next day. This wouldn't be quick enough as the police were demanding the money now etc. via western union.

I called her Dad and he deposited the money in her account as an instant transaction and now she has some cash, has been let go by the police and booked a bus to Amsterdam and I hope the reason that she is no longer online is that she is on it.

My stance has been that I will fly to her and bring her back to the UK with me and she can stay with me until she sorts herself out/heals (?) or I put her on a plane back to Oz.

What would you do? I want to make her go to a doctor and get checked. I want her to call rape crisis and speak to someone about it. I want to hug her and tell her it will be ok. I also want her to grow up and take responsibility, stop lurching from crisis to crisis. I don't want to bail her out. I want her to stop acting without thinking. I want her to stop smoking pot. I want her to finish her degree and get a job and live a calm life. I want to help her but I don't know how.

She is putting on a brave face to all her facebook friends. A bit like a school kid playing up to the teachers with friends cheering her on, but she is 22, and acting up to the police while crying to me about how all the bad things happen to her.

Is her passport Australian? The Australian Consulate in Amsterdam should be able to tell you the procedure.

Can you ring the British Embassy in Amsterdam. They should be able to give you some information too.

Have you actually spoken to her. Flights to amsterdam from the uk are extremely cheap so would it be possible for you to fly over and see her.

I'm not entirely convinced that you have full the story and I suspect that your dsis's misadventures still have the power to pack a punch to your purse.

However, if it is the intention of the Dutch authorities to deport your dsis they will have made contact with the Australian Embassy who, in turn, will have been in contact with her closest relatives in Oz in an attempt to obtain the cost of her flight home - presupposing that the ticket that was bought by her df is, as you suspect, one way.

If funds are not forthcomng, she will be returned to Oz after agreeing to repay the cost of her flight at a later date. I'm not familiar with Oz law but it may be that measures will be put in place to ensure that she cannot leave the country again until the debt has been repaid.

If she has travelled with a return ticket, negotiations will be undertaken with the carrying airline to facilitate her return and she will be required to reimburse any additional costs as above.

The UK and the US maintain embassies in Amsterdam but the Australian Embassy, in common with the majority of other countries, is situated in Den Haag (The Hague) which is an hour's train ride away.

It's possible that she hasn't yet been seen by Embassy officials but, in any event, I would caution you against getting involved in any appeal for her to remain in The Netherlands or be despatched to you in the UK as a speedy return to Oz is in your dsis's best interests - as it is in yours.

If deportation is, indeed, on the cards please heave a sigh of relief and regard this as the best possible outcome because your sister could have come to very serious harm from her exploits and the thought of her continuing her travels in London fills me with dread for you as much as for her.

And there, but for the grace of God, go I. I hope everything comes right and your sister wakes up before anything truely dreadful happens. And Amen to the addicts loving drama, life is so boring without it!

Deportation for shoplifting? That's a bit extreme.