I don't want to have sex with my husband

[AICM]

He's lovely I love him to bits.But he has a normal sex drive and I have none.
Once a week we kiss and cuddle the he puts on a condom and gets on with it himself if you know what I mean. He hasn't complianed but I know he wants more. Some friends say I am being very unfair to him others say I am risking our marriage by not doing more as at some point the 'urge' might get the better of him and it will be partly my faulf for not giving him want even I think he deserves. What do you think?

This is the relationships section not aibu...

Having no desire for sex doesn't mean you can't enjoy it, many people feel no physical want for sex until they are aroused.

If OP is capable of physical arousal / orgasm, then it would be easy to have a regular and satisfying sex life, they could use a vibrator as a short cut to kick start her arousal, plus, orgasms are good for you, physically and mentally.

I am that you have any say how he wanks?!

Are you there? Do you have anything to do with it? That would imply that you do have a sex life to a degree?

Bluddy that's not helpful, but I guess it's not your style.

It was a fair suggestion BMF, giving your partner sexual pleasure is a pleasurable act in itself and is normally a turn on for the giver.

A male masturbator toy would contain any mess and would be a damn sight more satisfying than being made to wank wearing a condom too!

This is like being in a playground, feel for OP. I'm out.

I do feel that I have neglected him. I just have no interest in sex andmaybe taken his willingness to compromise for granted. I am there when he wanks.

How does he feel about wanting in a condom op?

I dont understand how it would work - surely the action would pull the condom off?

I can climax when he gives me oral and he enjoys doing that for me.

What an awful situation for him!!!!

Is this a wind up? You take oral but won't do anything for him? WHY is he with you? How selfish.

Have to say i feel a bit sorry for him, if i out myself in his shoes i'd feel pretty bad about myself.

The making him wank the way you like is very controlling IMHO and being there but not getting involved, tis all a bit strange.

I find it very hard to ask him about this and have avoided doing so.
He hasn't complained so I haven't asked. I've lead a very sheltered life and don't really know what is normal. I have a step daugter that is his from a previous marriage. I was married before to a pig and this may have damaged me emotionaly

There is something 'off' about the way you have written this OP. Are you the DH? or someone else?

Why do you prefer your DH to wank into a condom?
If you can enjoy sex when he gives you oral why don't you have intercourse or give him oral sex?

Hang on, if you have no sexual desire why are you expecting him to perform oral sex on you? What do you get out of that if you have no interest in sex? It sounds to me as though you have some major psychological hangups about sex, and so does your H (even if he didn't before he met you). I would strongly suggest that the pair of you look for a psychosexual counsellor to talk the whole business through with.

I have no real desire for sex. When my husband gives me oral I enjoy it but if he doesn't do it I don't seem to miss it. I'm not the horrible wife I've been painted here.We are very happy but I wonder whether he is hiding an unhappiness because of my bedroom issues.

Well, it's possible that he has no interest in PIV (penis-in-vagina sex) either.If he says that he is happy with your sex life the way it is, and you are content with it as well, then there is nothing to worry about. Whatever your friends do or do not do sexually is up to them, just as your sex life is up to you and your H, but if one of you is unhappy then, as I said, your best bet is a specialist psychosexual counsellor.

Is this for real ?

I echo anyfucker .

Do you do anything for him OP?