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Original poster

Is this normal or is DP an arse?

75 replies

TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:02

DP is gym obsessed. He's lost loads of weight, takes vitamins, supplements and eats mainly protein and veg. He gets up at half 5 to exercise and has started waking me up as well as 'there's no point me staying in bed' despite me being the one to get up hourly with one or both DCs (2 and 1) and me being the one at home with them all day. I'm fucking shattered. He even got DD up at half 5 when she would've settled with a dummy so that I woke up!
I don't want to laze in bed all day, just to until the kids wake up would be lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:04

Posted too soon. He also moans constantly about my diet and how I'm too skinny and will die before the kids grow up and that I should exercise with him every morning

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JoinTheDots · 03/11/2011 08:05

He is being an arse. Get him to do night duty with the DCs and then see how he feels about the 5.30 starts.

Anniegetyourgun · 03/11/2011 08:10

No point you staying in bed? How about - so you can sleep?

He's either an arse or got some worrying compulsion thing going on. Possibly both.

themildmanneredjanitor · 03/11/2011 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babyhammock · 03/11/2011 08:11

Arghhhh how annoying..you must be asolutely shattered :( dying of sleep deprivation more like..

Dunno what to suggest as at best I find blokes obsessed with their bodies as tedius and v boring.. but you have two very young DC and its even interefering with the little sleep that you're getting... I would not be happy and yes he's being a self absorbed prick x

MmeLindor. · 03/11/2011 08:12

He is being an arse.

But it sounds like the obsession with the gym has headed into an unhealthy obsession.

Does he exercise daily?

Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:13

Thank you! I thought it was just me being lazy but he used to be fat and now he's lost weight he's becoming an arse that only seems able to talk about fitness. I'm quite happy with my size I get enough exercise chasing two toddlers and I love carbs too much to cut them out!

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Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:14

Every morning and night at home and the gym when he has time

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MmeLindor. · 03/11/2011 08:21

Every morning and night at home and to the gym?

That is way way beyond normal. And absolutely not good for his health.

Have you talked to him about this?

oldenoughtowearpurple · 03/11/2011 08:22

Not normal. Very Not Normal. Bad enough that he does it himself but really really worrying that he wakes you and DCs up too. Definitely need to knock this on the head.

Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:25

I've tried talking to him but he just says he doesn't want to get fat again and once he's done the weight loss side he's going onto mass muscle gain or something. He's also started taking RoxyLean which is a weight loss supplement that hasn't been regulated by the drugs people so could possibly damage him

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overmydeadbody · 03/11/2011 08:26

Definitely not normal and he is being an arse.

Earthymama · 03/11/2011 08:26

You have my sympathy and empathy, though my ex convinced me I was grossly overweight.

You need to sit him down and get him to understand that he can do what he wants with his body, as long as it's legal and doesn't interfere with family life. However, your body is just that your body and he needs to back off.

I'm now trying to rid myself of the memory of a rare day out with exH, 5 year old DD and 1 yr old DS, in which exH did nothing but moan aboat not going to the gym and refused to eat anything treat-like or tasty!!

Beginning of the end, I can remember the desperation of making sure the little ones were happy. I hope your DP gets his priorities right.

BuzzAndWoody · 03/11/2011 08:29

He is being an arse and it sounds like he's become obsessed with diet and exercise.
Tell him that under no circumstances has he to wake you and the children up at that time, as a) you haven't had as much sleep as him if you're up in the night and b) you don't want to get up then.

It's nice to be fit and healthy, but telling you things like you're going to die young is cruel and heartless.

He needs a check up from the neck up.

ninjasquirrel · 03/11/2011 08:35

Surely the normal response to being deliberately woken up at 5.30 after being up all night with small children is to tell him to get lost and explain that you never want him to do that again? I can't believe you've been letting him get away with it, does he usually walk all over you like this?

BuzzAndWoody · 03/11/2011 08:41

Agree with ninja - if DH did that to me he'd be getting told in no uncertain terms where he could go Grin

Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:43

I'm a bit of a pushover tbh. I'm trying not to be but he gets away with quite a lot

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Ephiny · 03/11/2011 08:45

No not normal. DP would not dare to wake me up at 5.30 unless there was a very good reason! Why does he wake you up - does he think you should be up and exercising as well? Or just watching/admiring while he does his workout? Have you told him to never do it again?

It's good for him to be exercising and taking care over his diet, but it does sound like he might be taking things a bit too far in that regard. And he shouldn't be dragging you/DD into his personal obsessions.

Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 08:51

He does it so I can get a start on the housework and remind him to go to the gym apparently Hmm
And tells me when I should be going to bed instead of wasting my time on my essay for my course all night or mn/ancestry

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Hullygully · 03/11/2011 08:53

he sounds an absolute delight. hold on tight.

akaemmafrost · 03/11/2011 08:59

OMG! I can tell you right now if my ex H had tried this he would have had a new one ripped for him the very first time and he would not have come back for seconds. What a selfish twat!

Is he this controlling and selfish in all areas of your life together?

MmeLindor. · 03/11/2011 09:02

I was almost feeling sorry for him until your last post.

You have to stand up for yourself. You are an adult, not a child who he can tell when to get up or go to bed.

Original poster
TiarasTimeOutsAndTantrums · 03/11/2011 09:07

He does fuck all with the kids, fuck all around the flat and moans at me for the kids having too many toys, the kids having Santa sacks this Christmas and then jumping on him when he gets in from work if they are still awake.
He's also said if we split up he wouldn't be able to see the kids as he couldn't cope with all of them (DSD as well) as he would run out of patience. Apologies if that was drip feeding!

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akaemmafrost · 03/11/2011 09:13

He is a fucking arsehole! Wouldn't see his kids because he couldn't cope with them?? He obviously sees himself as King of the House and you and your kids as a load of minions there to service HIM and not inconvenience him too much. I have an inkling you will find him in here.

akaemmafrost · 03/11/2011 09:16

My ex was as you describe as worse in addition he was controlling with money, unfaithful to me and very abusive in many ways. He NEVER ever said he couldn't see his kids anymore though and two years later still sees them nearly every day, takes them away when he can, pays his Child Support and absolutely thinks the world of them.

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