Can I ask a question - what would your husband do?

[rockinastocking]

I just need to know if it's me or him

Supposed to be going out to a Halloween party tonight. Have been before, we both hate it , kids love it.

We're not getting on well at the moment, and have argued as a result of these parties before. DH socially awkward, I get fed up, etc.

Anyway, DH took DS1 out for a costume this morning, and while they were out I started feeling ill. Squitty tummy, etc. Sorry if TMI.

When DH came in I mentioned I wasn't feeling well. He said nothing about the party, but I could sense a tension.

He later said something about "what time are we going?" and I said something like that I didn't feel well enough.

Right...now can I ask what your husbands would have said?

Op - I have a socially rubbish shy and anxious dh too. It's crap isn't it?

meltedchocolate I think your attitude sucks. It's a case of pander to it or feel your wrath eh?

Well...sorry, but as the 15 year spouse of Mr Shy I can tell you quite frankly that it eventually becomes very old.

I sympathise OP...a lot. I love my husband, but the social ishoos ARE a problem for me.

My partner is not the most sympathetic either. It sucks, sometimes I'd love a cup of tea in bed, to not have to beg him to go to the shop if I need some paracetamol, to have a shirt ironed for me occasionally.

The more I realise I want these things, the further I move away from him. His needs are ALWAYS first, always always. He freely admits this. So I sympathise with you.

It's a crap situation.

In answer to your op - my dh would not take the children to the party on his own. He would feel shit about it, and embarrassed too, but bottom line is...if I wasn't going, no-one would be going.

It would make me feel he is putting his needs first, letting the kids down, and backing me into a corner. The responsibility of the party would fall squarely on my shoulders. Again.

It's not attractive is it?