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Original poster

Does anyone else live with a Grump?

15 replies

silentcatastrophe · 26/10/2011 15:55

Dh is a grumpy old man. It is sooooo corrosive and depressing. I am really fed up with him. He is also a kind and thoughtful man. His grumpiness is really getting me down though.

OP posts:

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 26/10/2011 15:56

Yes, my poor dh lives with a grump! I am horrible and menopausal and snappish and irritable and short tempered. He deserves a medal.

MercyDulbottle · 26/10/2011 16:04

Oh, yes. He's a good man, but just seems so down on everything. everything is terrible, little irritations are the end of the world. I feel like he can suck all the happiness out of the room by walking into it, sometimes.

Fatshionista · 26/10/2011 16:09

I do.

He is a good man who loves his children and me but, seriously, he has grump issues. His facial expressions alone can suck my positive mindset out through my eyes.

Not all the time, you understand but enough.

Ephiny · 26/10/2011 16:09

No, this is one thing (well OK, one of several things!) I'd find it difficult to live with. My dad was like this, and it really does get you down, having a cloud of negativity and gloom over everything. I love DP for having the opposite personality!

I do occasionally find myself being like this though. It's easy to fall into that pattern when it's what you grew up with. I try to stop myself when I notice, but sometimes I've needed DP to point out when I'm doing it. Is there any way you can point out gently what he's doing and how it makes you feel?

Original poster

silentcatastrophe · 26/10/2011 16:53

I do try. I think he has been grumpy for a long time, and I have a feeling his first wife got fed-up with it. It's very difficult to deal with and I am getting pretty sick of asking him to STOP COMPLAINING! It has reached a point that his complaints needle me, and I am certainly no nicer than he is.

OP posts:

Thelastnameleft · 26/10/2011 16:57

Yep, mine has been mega grumpy the last few days and I have no idea why. Ive tried to talk to him about it but I get the "I'm ok"...well if you are ok why are you so bloody miserable then?

His grumpiness translates to making sarcastic comments sometimes too, I could just punch him when he is like that.

On the upside though, he is not like it often, fortunately for him

tradesmansentrance · 26/10/2011 17:18

So glad, but also disturbed, to see others in my life. Dh does a fine line in the grumpy face and claims not to know he's doing it. Far too many good qualities to chainsaw him for it but the desciption of sucking positivity out through the eyeballs was so personal I could feel it.

Milchardo · 26/10/2011 17:20

My DP can be like this... And if he and my brother get together, they could moan for England!

Most of the time he's great, but he has a tendency to pessimism, whereas I'm the eternal optimist, so occasionally there's 'friction' between us.

Love him to bits, though...

MedusaIsHavingABadHairDay · 26/10/2011 17:33

Mine could give those guys on "Grumpy Old Men' a run for their money... AND he has 'you don't want to do it like THAT..' tendencies too! he has definitely got worse with age! (nearly 50)

Drives me absolutely INSANE!

But.. he's loving, faithful and a great Dad... so we all just tell him to shut up now and again

FrankNCock · 26/10/2011 17:42

I gently take the piss out of DH for his grumpy pessimism, and over the years this seems to have improved his outlook somewhat. He's getting better at saving the moaning for when there is actually something worth moaning about.

If it gets really bad, I just start calling him by his dad's name. FIL is the ultimate pessimist and DH doesn't ever want to be as grumpy and miserable as him.

PeppermintPanda · 26/10/2011 17:50

Yes. I'm also married to an emotional vampire. He likes to tell me that he is known as an optimist at work - great, then either there is a whole office building full of people who must hang themselves from the lightfittings by their ties every day, or he saves all the grumpiness up for me each evening. Not sure which is worse!

minxofmancunia · 26/10/2011 18:14

My DH can be grumpy and irritable...and complains a LOT about everything. Everything's a bloody issue. I'm forever saying "it doesn't matter" or "try not to get so worked up it's not that big a deal" or "please stop complaining!!!!". I try to switch off to it but I hate it, it's so unattractive and wearing. Thing is he gets really worked up about what i would describe as quite an inconsequential issue and goes on..and on..and on. Often to the point where we'll end up having an argument as i can't stand to listen to it anymore.

Him and his equally grumpy mates have colossal complaining sessions down the pub, so much so that if we have a babysitter I refuse to meet them as it's so boring.

MrsJRM · 27/10/2011 10:34

Yes. my ex-husbands new partner does. Although she probably doesn't realise it yet, still going through the caring thoughtful phase.

Anniegetyourgun · 27/10/2011 11:09

I used to be married to one. Somehow I always got the impression that whatever he was grumbling about (even the weather) was my fault, although he always denied it if I asked what he expected me to do about it. He used to have a lot of aches and pains, too, which nowadays he doesn't. Clearly he was allergic to living with me. I'm so glad I set him free.

LatherRinseRepeatAsNeeded · 27/10/2011 14:42

I live with one, I love him to bits, but some days I want to kick him out the house until he cheers up.

He's not a morning person - so he's grumpy if he's up early.
Wants to spend all his free time riding his bike (no he's not 12) - so if he doesn't get at least 1 preferebly 2 rides in at the weekend he'll sulk
He doesn't like doing house work or gardening, going shopping - so any of those results in a grump.

That said I love him to bits and know Im not exactly a ray of light myself either (recent comment of "Have you finished your period yet?, You're always bloody miserable the week before and during it")

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