Affirmation from partners

[Squarecrisps]

Do your husbands/partners compliment you on your appearance on a regular basis? Mine never does, and never has, not even when we were first dating. I know in the grand scheme of things it's not really important, but I really wish that he would tell me I look nice or I'm pretty once in a while. I often make a real effort to look nice, particularly on special occasions, but get nothing from him.

Dunno if it's the be all and end all, but still is nice

If he's never complimented you, even in the flush of romance, you're going to have your work cut out to make him start now!

When you're dressed for special events always ask him what he thinks of your appearance before you set off.
Everytime you wear a new item (even if's a new pair of knickers or earrings etc) ask for his opinion.
Everytime you've been to the hairdresser, changed your make up etc, solicit his views
If you see clothes/accessories online or in a magazine, show him and ask him to comment... I'm sure you're getting the picture.

Compliment him regularly when he's looking especially good or when he's wearing an item that you particularly like or that particularly suits him, and use gestures to reinforce the message - run your hand down his face or arm or over a sweater as you tell him he looks great.

Also, wait until you're sharing a bottle of vino or having a few quiet minutes together at home and tell him how good it makes you feel to be with him, seen out with him etc, and that it would mean a lot to you if he be could compliment you on your appearance when he knows that you have made a special effort or sees that you're wearing a new item etc.

Good luck with this - perhaps you can report back in a few months and let us know if there's been any improvement?

izzy - I do all of that! I always ask his opinion, always try new purchases out on him etc etc - he normally responds with a really ungenuine "yeah, it's nice". I've spoken to him about how it would really mean a lot for him to say these sorts of things spontaneously, like he really means them. He understands how I feel about it, and always says he'll try, but it never actually happens

Squarecrisps my dh is the same. He loves it if i notice or compliment him but i have to ask for it from him. Grrr! He's also not affectionate and we've not done it for months. But I won't go into that here!

bumbums - you have my sympathy! Sorry your dh isn't affectionate cos my husbands never compliments me I end up feeling really insecure about the way I look and sort of feel masculine almost

ditto.