To the lovely people who gave me honest advice yesterday about lazy DP and the money issues.
Just an update but we ended up having a long chat, the money issue has been resolved to my demands requests and he is going to do more with the children. He was up last night calming DS down (headache and nightmare) and this morning I got up to find DD changed and dressed so hopefully he will get there. At the moment he seems willing to work on it so here's hoping.
Once again thank you for reading my post and for the replies. I needed the kick up the arse to confront him and even though I'm not leaving him I now know that if he didn't sort himself out I would be able to manage if I did leave