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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Exit plan needed

4 replies

FakeryRicketyFick · 25/09/2011 21:50

I am a recent name changer and am quite sad to see my old name go up in flames but it's a fitting end.

I'm seriously considering leaving my marriage, my dh (he is still d, no matter that I've just realised his wankerish behaviour) but have no idea how to go about this. Stupid questions will be rife.

I do not have any savings so can't rent anywhere for ds1,2 and I. Can I just ask dh to leave? What if he says no? (likely- it will break him to leave the boys:()

OP posts:
MaryPoppinsMagic · 25/09/2011 21:58

Hi, I'm sorry you are in this position.

Can you tell us why you want him to leave?

As you are married you both have the same amount of rights to remain in the marital home, unless there is violence involved in which you can have your dh removed by the police.

It may be an idea to seek legal advice so you can know your proper rights and where you stand.

Come back with more information so more advice can be given

MaryPoppinsMagic · 25/09/2011 21:58

Hi, I'm sorry you are in this position.

Can you tell us why you want him to leave?

As you are married you both have the same amount of rights to remain in the marital home, unless there is violence involved in which you can have your dh removed by the police.

It may be an idea to seek legal advice so you can know your proper rights and where you stand.

Come back with more information so more advice can be given

GypsyMoth · 25/09/2011 21:59

Ask local council if they run 'rent assist' scheme, they provide deposit/advance rent

Then you can claim housing benefit and other benefits, depending on what you work

DH will need to pay 20% of wages to you as maintenence

GoogleBun · 25/09/2011 22:04

You can't just make him move out as there are many implications financially (e.g. he won't be obliged to pay the mortgage/bills if he moves out, because you are resonsible for the full amount in lieu of you using "his" half of the house).

A lot of solicitors offer a free half hour's advice - it might be a good idea to make that your starting point if you are considering separating so you have more of an idea of what the future will hold if you do decide to go through with it.

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