caz, we are all "annoying" ALL of us forget stuff, make mistakes. To err is HUMAN, remember? You ARE on eggshells and that is enough to scupper any plans, as your body is running on adrenalin, fight or flight, so your brain won't sit and consider, it won't retain information, it merely knee-jerks.
His dad showed you those clippings for a reason. He would have thought long and hard about showing you, and decided that you needed to know. You did need to know. Dare I ask if you discussed it with your H?
You are banished upstairs cos you have a cough? 
He ignores you for a a few days? that is one of the nastiest forms of abuse actually, and I bet he doesn't stop there either does he?
i started the Freedom Programme yesterday, this is what they gave us to look at. Have a look at it: www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/docs/mrgoodbad-english.pdf
The first guy is the kind of guy I know of, the kind of guy YOU are describing. the second one, not so much, but it shows you just how wide of the mark these pricks are.
DON'T tell him you are leaving, whatever you do.
Talk to Woman's Aid, they will help you plan what you need to do, take and organise.
IS there somewhere you can go to? if not, that can be arranged to, but unless you are in mortal fear for your life, stay put, stay mum and plan your exit.
Love, you are not alone, you will never be alone again, we are with you for as long as you need us to be. There are thousands of us all over the world, so if you need to talk, rant or just sanity check, please post and ask, anytime, day or night.