going sober

[goinonabearhunt]

This morning I asked my DP to stop drinking, completely.

This is the first time I've asked him straight out, I've always gone for the soft options before; eg his health, his snoring etc. But he agreed straightaway.

I followed it up later to make sure he understands I'm serious. I also told him I don't want him to be blaming me for making him do this.

So what now? What should I be looking out? What should I be wary of?

And how can I help? He's been reliant on beer for most of his adult life, it can't be easy to just stop...

The only way you can help him is to look after you. Al-Anon is for families and friends of alcoholics.

www.al-anonuk.org.uk/

xxx

What now? He needs to see a Doctor or a local Alcohol Abuse Centre. Stopping drinking suddenly, cold turkey, can be life threatening. I'm not trying to scare you but if he's been drinking large amounts for years and years, he probably needs some kind of medical detox. Men, in particular, will deny this is necessary, but it should be taken seriously.

I knew (ahem) someone who had been drinking wine every night for years, then the drinking time got earlier and earlier. And the amounts got more and more....

This person finally confessed all to their doctor and was given a short course of Diazepam to safely detox at home. It takes a lot of willpower and the person concerned has to be ready to give up. I'm sure you've heard this countless times already.

You are right to be wary, alcoholics can be sneaky. I can't give you a list of what to look out for as it would be too long and the lengths some people will go to to hide their drinking can be absurd.

Just be supportive but don't enable. There's only so much you can do. He's got to do it himself.

Al anon are good, contact them for advice. Really hope it all goes well for you. It's a major step that he has agreed.

bearhunt well done for speaking out and letting him know you are not going to put up with him drinking like that any more.

Has he tried to stop before? Has he been to AA or similar? He should visit his GP as a first step. He will need lots of strategies to help him not drink. If he does not attend an AA type organisation he may find it very difficult to do alone. The basic rule to follow is to not drink just for today. Get through the day without a drink and then do the same the next day. Don't think beyond today. One Day At A Time.

The Brave Babes thread accepts male passengers if he wants to hop on the wagon bus with us. We are full of advice and are very kind if he feels up to joining in.

If he is going to stop because you want him to this is still his decision. He has to want this for himself and it sounds as if he does which is a good sign.

I am one of the Brave Babes as well and would reiterate the welcome and support on the Brave babes thread in relationships topic.

How much is he drinking? Many of us were drinking 60-90 units a week and able to stop drinking without suffering life threatening side effects, it is possible to just stop, but if he can face his GP that does seem a good idea. AA and Al-Anon are helpful, but not essential. If he really wants to do it he can - I have been sober 11 months now and will be happy to support you/him if you want to PM me.

How much does he drink, is he dependant? If so he needs medical treatment alongside giving up, the body becomes dependant the need to drink arises from the body being addicted to the alcohol. No one can just give up it is not like giving up chocolate.

If he is a constant every night drinker, then get him to the doctors for advice in case he needs to take additional Vitamin C.

My kids dad gave up just like that ended up in hospital twice the second time diagnosed with diabetes and permanent liver damage. Only ever drank Lager too.