how many times would you take rejection before you created?

[GeneralCustardsHardHat]

My dp is, quite frankly, an arse. Numerous reasons that I'm only divulging because I may have had a wee bit too much vodka. Here goes.

It started a couple of months ago when he turned me down citing tiredness, then proceeded to go downstairs to play his xbox. Follow this with his non proposal that went something like this...

I was going to propose to you last month but decided I didn't want to.

Since then we've not had sex at all. I try to instigate it, I try to be nice and just pleasure him but every time he rejects me. Tells me he's not in the mood, too tired, hasn't got the time?! We live together, the last one just flummoxes me!

I'm beginning to think its something ive said or done so I tried talking to him. To be met with a sulky teenage strop.

I'm lost. I'm confused. I love this man to bits but I can't live a life of celibacy! :(

Don't marry him

He is a game player

You don't want to play games for the rest of your life do you ?

That's for teenagers

Dump this pillock and find a man that wants to shag you...this one likes the sound of his own voice too much

... or he has someone else?

I've already decided if he ever does grow up i'd not marry him. I've had enough :(

don't wait around to find out if he ever does grow up, will you ?

Agree with AF.

God, why do you stay with him? He's horrible!

Mine is like this,

But I am also like this. So it works for us due to our chronic laziness similar drives :D

Just read the non-proposal bit properly.
That seems very odd and too much of a game for me. Get out now

I suppose there might be some excuses for behaviour: crisis of confidence performance wise? Some kind of depression? But if I'm being honest it sounds like he is, as you say, just an arse.

I had an ex who went all cold like that - he was hankering after someone else and was too gutless to end our relationship himself/didn't want to 'get the blame' for ending it, so instead he instigated the relationship equivalent of constructive dismissal.

If I were you I would give him one last chance to explain himself/see if he wants to fix things and then, if he doesn't, ship out.

Whatever you decide though, STOP trying to instigate things. It is too soul destroying.

General
Your post could have been written by me about an ex who I wasted 4 years of my life on in my twenties. He would constantly turn me down and sex was always on his terms. Yet when we did have sex it was always fantastic, therefore clearly a control thing.
Get out now, this man will destroy your self esteem until one day you find yourself looking in the mirror and wondering why he doesn't want you. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
My ex also used to play the 'I was going to propose but you ruined it with your bad mood' card. It is a horrifically cruel thing to say to a woman and imo is, on it's own, reason enough for you to get out on this 'relationship'.

Thank you. You've all basically said out loud what I've been saying silently to myself for a while now. Jesus. This is gonna hurt the kids :(

It will hurt the kids more if you stay in this dysfunctional relationship, love x