The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Sweeping Into Autumn With A One Way Ticket To Sobriety.

[Mouseface]

Phew, just in time!

I'm mouse and I love a few to drink. I love all things cheese and I love MrMouse

Welcome to the Bus. We are a collection of drinkers, non-drinkers, and those who are somewhere in between but we all have the same thing in common, we can't just have 1 drink and then stop.

Come say hi, we don't bite .

Here are the other threads to date, if you have a spare hour or seven to kill.

OUR HISTORY

Evening all,
I think there can often be a bit of a grief process after stopping drinking. After all, alcohol was a friend before it turned on us, or so we thought.

On the subject of grief, saw my counsellor this afternoon - she is great - but just can't stop crying since. It settles for a few minutes before the next wave. I am puffy and red - have washed my face several times but there's no saving me from looking like I've been crying now - am going to kick myself out the door to a meeting because I need it and it's only pride that makes me not want to be there looking like this. I just want my mum. I don't think I have cried like this since she died so it has been overdue for almost 4 months and it bloody hurts.

venus nods yes I know you are right. I am cooking my DS's favourite dinner this evening I have just got it under way. I have been very lax on the mum duties if I'm honest so I am hoping that smug can become double smug by tomorrow morning.

No fuzzy head and a happy ish son too

I'm back. A full MOT later.

I've got to go back on Monday for an ECG and full blood works, the doc thinks it could be my heart. To go from standing to unconscious is fairly rare and usually an indication of an irregular heart beat for one reason or another.

Then we went to get the weekly shop, it was HELL ON EARTH! So busy and full of the Great Unwashed

noteven - this is obviously something that has been building for the last 4 months and I bet it actually feels good to let it out? I'm so sorry that I can't take the pain away from you. Sending you love and strength xx

noteven I don't know your story but you sound in need a virtual very un mumnetty hug . I lost my mum too just over a year ago the crying is something you have to do to come out the other side it will get easier I promise

Wow loads of posts again! Mouse sounds serious? You OK my lovely? I don't think you should have braved the supermarket, far too stressful. Can you shop online? When I got back from holiday I had an email from Tesco with a £15 voucher to tempt me back, just because I hadn't shopped with them for two weeks . Ah, they missed me, so sweet .

venus I have been using my pedometer and am easily hitting 10,000 steps a day if I'm at work. Need to do more at weekends. I will try eating little and often to kickstart the metabolism. I'm not too brilliant at breakfast but love tomatoes so might try that for a change. I've been having extra light dairylea on wholemeal toast.

noteven you have a good old cry, let it all out .

Why are hugs and kisses unmumsnetty btw?

Noteven YAY! for you, you have done so well, I'm so proud of you for the progress you have made.

I guess the counselling is doing its job and you are releasing a lot of pent up emotion. I hope your meeting was OK, and have a good wallow if you need to. More hugs from me, I have no idea why a supportive group like this have to be furtive about the hugs though

Hello, wondering if anyone can give me some advice. Dh admitted to his drinking problem and stopped drinking. He was doing great and was 2 months sober. Today he has had 5 beers before tea time. It's his first slip up and he is gutted. But but but..... How do I deal with it?

I know talking to him now is useless. Have just tried and have been told I'm in the wrong for being pissed off with him when he has been honest with me and admitted to having a drink or 5. :(

Fontsnob welcome. Are you safe with him drinking?

This is not something to talk to him about tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Was there any particular reason why he drank tonight, that you are aware of?

Maybe he would like to join us himself? Many of us have had blips and fallen off the wagon, but he can start again tomorrow on day one.

Has he been going to AA? Try to persuade him to join us, AA or another supportive group, it is really hard to do this on your own.

You could use some support yourself as well, do you have anyone in RL who can support you, or have you tried Al-Anon, I don't have personal experience, but worth a try I should think?

Font - agree with the lovely faire here, you need to let this lie tonight. Leave him be and let him sleep it off. I bet you he'll hate himself in the morning.

Take yourself off to bed early, in a different room if he's already crashed out in bed. You need to make him understand that yes, you're upset but only because of how well he had done up until today.

One slip means nothing in the grand scheme of an alcohol problem. Talk to him when he is sober and you are calmer.

Non of this is your fault or within your control.

Where is he now? xx

Thanks for the replies. I am safe with him, I don't think he will continue to drink tonight. I hope anyway. He has been to AA a couple of times and has promised to go again. He has big issues with his father at the moment that are surfacing as he is seeing a therapist. I've been feeling so proud of him and now I feel let down :( it's his first bump in the road for recovery but I feel like the happiness that I was starting to feel has been destroyed again. It feels like I can't trust being happy. I know he really wants to fix himself, I believe that but I don't know how to forgive him without him thinking it's okay.

Or does he need to know that I forgive him so that it doesn't turn into a week of mistakes?

I can't stand the look of his eyes when he's been drinking and the way his mouth goes sloppy :( he doesn't look like my lovely husband when he is like this.

Fontsnob just try to bear in mind that he does want to stop. He has recognised that he has a problem and has tried to do something about it. Did he used to drink everyday. Did he tend to stick to beer, or did he also drink wine or spirits? What made him take the decision to stop in the first place? Sorry for all the questions just trying to work out where he might be on the road to sobriety.

mouse hope everything is ok. You need another health problem like you need a hole in the head.
noteven hope you feel better after your emotional release.

If I were you, I'd tell him what you are telling us. Talk to him, be honest but not now. xx

Ma - thank you my love, I know but what doesn't kill me, will only make me more pissed off!

Hope you are okay xx

Okay so, beer pretty much every day sometimes cider and or wine. Breaking point for me was him drink driving with dd in the car. Also he has been verbally abusive whilst drunk. I told him if it didn't all stop I'd be gone. That was the last time he drank. His df is a functioning alcoholic and his dm was in the priory for a spell in his teens. He does want to stop and today isn't him off his face. But it's a massive step backwards for him and us. He isn't being verbally abusive this evening.

Well he has a darned good reason to stop if he was risking your dd. I am sure he will be kicking himself in the morning. The best thing for him to do is to put it behind him and start again tomorrow. If he was finding AA helpful he should go to a meeting tomorrow or as soon as possible. As BB said, he is more than welcome to join us here. Getting lots of support will help him.

Most of us here have experienced a few slips. It just reminds us that alcohol is not the answer. We usually get up, strengthen resolve, and start again. There is no guarantee of success but you don't really fail until you stop trying.

Your DH will know that you are diappointed, disapproving, anxious, cross with him and concerned about your future together. As Mouse says, just talk to him tomorrow. Do you think you could show him these posts tonight?

Don't mean show them tonight , I mean show tonight's posts tomorrow.

Sorry to post and run but it's time for this little mouse to go to bed. Been a long and worrying day.

Back tomorrow lovely Brave Babes xx

Thanks Fairenuff he has gone to bed, he's acting a bit like a kid who knows he is in trouble. I will show him this thread, but he knows it all already. I can forgive him his slip up, I'm just so fed up of the steps backwards just when it feels like we are getting somewhere. fuck. :( Night all, thanks for your help.