Pretty sure DH doesn't love me anymore

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I've felt it for a long time.
We married about 3 years ago, have one dd and another due in October.
I have given up everything to just be where he wants us to be - close to his work. I hate where we live, I have no family or friends here and no quality of life, but I have accepted it thus far because I know DH is the main breadwinner and puts a roof over our heads. I hate moaning but he knows how I feel.

I have always felt his job always comes first with both myself and dd but have tried to accept it. We hardly ever spend time together and he never takes dd out.
I am finding a real strain at the moment being nearly 33 weeks pregnant, I'm getting quite depresssed.
At the weekend I have to occupy dd all the time as I do all week.

I cook for him every night, sometimes he eats it,other times he doesn't want it so it goes to waste. I do everything at home, yet I get moaned at for silly things.
He is starting to really crack me down. He tells me I havent put dd's nappy on properly (even though he never changes it himself), moans about how I dress her (when I take a lot of pride in how she looks)....moans how I do things but yet never steps up to do them himself.

He has moods that go on for days where he doesnt talk to me and I have no idea what I have done.

There is more but this post is going to get so long people won't be able to read it all.

Overall I just feel he is pushing me away, on purpose, I don't know. But I am starting to put up my walls again which I never thought I would have to do in marriage.

I am laying awake at night just really miserable about everything.

Definitely a good idea to keep a diary so you can't kid yourself your memories are too dramatic, or that the bad times aren't nearly all the time. I think I'd have left sooner if I'd kept a diary and made myself write down all the hideous things he'd said over the years.

Yep, started writing it last night. Even now I keep asking myself if I am blowing things out of proportion, maybe because I don't want to believe whats happening. I hate this confusion, its driving me insane. I stayed awake again much of last night thinking, tyring to make excuses for his behaviour.

If you are putting pen to paper, it might also be worth writing down the reasons why you think you are staying, why you have not walked away sooner. Then when you have a breakdown of the reasons, you can kind of think about them one at a time. I did this. I was too scared to leave and start again, but when I had a list like this

1. fear of being gossiped about/looked down on/being the odd one out
2. money worries
3. exchanging one set of problems for a new set of problems? (potentially?)
4. the children seeing less of their father
5. he might change? it might get better?
6. i've made my bed and i have to lie in it??? or do I?

Anyway, it helped me tap into my fears, identify them exactly, and then the rational side of my personality could help deal with those various fears. Talk myself down off the ledge! iykwim.

MAYBE something to do at your mum and dad's house, if you can face it!

Thanks band good idea.
I think the main reasons are lack of money and the way he just changes suddenly from the not speaking into mr nice guy.

You know he hadn't spoken to me since Friday night, then today he has called me once on the home phone and three times on my mobile.
I didn't answer the first calls because I was resting but have just answered his one tonight and he was nice as pie as if nothing has happened. This is what is making me so confused.
I felt exhausted today, I managed to walk to the shop 5 minutes away with dd and back and I havent been able to do much else. I feel everything has been sucked out of me.

I think the fact I am pregnant and due soonish is also a major factor.....

Oh I get it totally. I knew in my heart of hearts when 9 weeks pregnant with dc2 that I didn't love my x, that he didn't love me and that no way on earth could I face sharing my one and only life with him. It took me til dc2 was nearly one to leave.

The thing with acting so normally afterwards freaks you out doesn't it? I remember my x would shout at me really angrily for like 80 minutes without pause in a mad rant about something I couldn't help, or change, or do better. And then five minutes afterwards he'd say cheerfully 'do you want a cup of tea?' in this little peter pan voice. It used to make me feel like I was invisible. Just a ghost almost, with no voice. If I said 'keep your tea' then he'd act the martyr!!!!! HE WOULD BE THE MARTYR AFTER SHRIEKING AT ME AND GIVING OUT TO ME ABOUT NOTHING FOR OVER AN HOUR.

I know when you're pregnant it's human nature to want to be near the hospital and your own house, but after the baby's born, don't get locked into thinking "i can't move now I have a baby". I do understand it totally but I really wish I'd just spared myself some of that miserable time when I was working up to leaving.

Thanks Band, I think it might be hard before the birth, I don't know how late you can transfer care etc, I am being consultant led too (previous DVT so on blood thinners through pregnancy) so have appointments with both midwife and consultant at 2-3 weekly intervals now. It getting really close....
It is so frustrating how they do it. I think I probably knew deep down even when pregnant with dd we were having problems tbh.

Hello love, as well as the brilliant support you have had on this thread, if you haven't see it already the ladies on this one will know exactly where you are coming from

Thanks anyfucker, I shall divert! Great support already here thanks all x

You can take advantage of both threads, of course x