Should I treat DP like a child?HELP NEEDED!!!

[Clarabumps]

looking for opinions with regard to DP.
I am a SAHM and DP works full time( long hours, 6 days a week) and we are renovating a house so DP spends most of his free time doing things to that.
I struggle with keeping on top of the washing(who doesn't) and the majority of the time everything is clean and put away however DP seems to find it impossible to find pants, socks etc and always makes a big deal out of it.
He asked me yesterday to make sure I had washed him clean work trousers( he's a joiner so everything gets pretty dusty) I did so but I forgot to put them on the radiator. So at 7am this morning I was woken up with "did you wash me some trousers?" I explained the situation and an immense huff ensued. This has happened a few times in the past few months and I was pretty sick of him informing me that he has no clean trousers when there's no chance I can fix the problem.
Anyways, I told him I was "fucking sick of this" and stormed off. I don't know if I'm over-reacting. I do everything else..wash,clean, iron, cook a nice dinner from scratch every night as well as look after the kids all day everyday with little support from him.
Do I insist on making him make sure he has clean clothes for himself or do I just lay his bloody clothes out for him like a child and avoid him banging drawers in the morning.

I wouldn't mind if he told me when I have time to actually sort it..i.e the night before.
He ends up leaving in the morning with me in a stinking mood that lasts the whole day!!GRRRR! WWYD??

So usually you do the washing, drying, ironing etc and everybody is happy with that arrangement? You do the same as I do Clarabumps, which is something I took on when becoming a SAHM and on discussing with DH what I was happy with doing so we were all clear on where we stood.

So on this occasion, and on a few previous occasions you have forgotten to dry trousers?

I see it like this, I am human and I presume you are Clarabumps? Sometimes we forget things. Annoying if you are the one affected by the forgetfulness, but ultimately it is a mistake. And I know that I get really pissed off at forgetting things and my DH probably feels pissed off too (not that he would EVER voice this as he isn't perfect either!) that I have forgotten to do something that will hold him up or affect his day. This works both ways.

The simplest solution would be to buy two more pairs of trousers for your DP. I've done the same as you and told my DH to buy more pairs of trousers, that way it wouldn't be such a drama and emergency when they got dirty. I think maybe you need to sit down and have a talk about what he expects from you - you are not infallible, and neither is he. You both work hard and make relevant contributions - if you both had a chat I think it would help clear the air.

I work part time and DH full time, and I do the washing 90% of the time which is fine. But occasionally DH will complain (but never in a horrid way to be fair) that he's run out of pants. When he does this I point out that he is perfectly capable of keeping an eye on his clean clothes, and of asking me to put a wash on or of putting one on himself. I don't mind it being my job, but he's an adult, not a child, and I'm not his mother!

Where would the poor man get the time to do anything more than he does already?

Why aren't you organised you should be if you are at home all day.

tsc...would you feel the same if your dp got arsey with you ?

I tend to think arsiness cancels out any reason on earth why I need to cooperate

How many pairs of work trousers does he have?

13 years ago, DH had a hissy fit moan about his favourite jeans not being dry. I was a SAHM, the laundry was part of my 'work'.

I have not washed a pair of his jeans since without a specific (and crawling) request to do so.

However, that did not involve him going into work with bare/damp legs.

clara is too busy doing her husbands laundry to reply

WHy on earth can't he (a) go out and buy himself a few more pairs of trousers (b) stick them in the washing machine himself? Along with all the other washing that needs doing?

There is childcare and there is house care and then there is personal care. Most working people manage to throw their own work clothes in the washing machine and still go to work dressed whatever hours they work. I find the notion of being responsible for his clothes is already treating them like a child. Nothing wrong with doing DH's clothes as regularly as suits the family but to be responsible^? No. And therefore no strop can be accepted.

AF I have never ironed anything for DH despite having two 10 month stretches of maternity leave. I probably would do if it was an emergency but he is enough of a grown up to plan in advance if he needs something washed/ironed and sort it out. You are not alone in the inability to understand why you would need to run around after a grown man and organise his life for him.

My husband is the SAHP. I haven't done a laundry load since I was on mat leave 3 years ago - he does it all (including sorting and putting away). Occasionally I have to ask him where my clean jeans are - which is either "hanging in your wardrobe" or "still going through the wash". No drama, just a question / answer. If they're still in the wash I find something else to wear. If I really want them for a particular day I tell him and he sorts it.

I'm in full agreement with Gnome here.

If it really does only take two minutes to peg out, then it's no biggie for him to do. Shove them in the machine overnight on a timer, if it's that much of a hassle for him. Peg them out in the morning. Sorted. Independent adult doing own trousers.

And really, he can put his own pants away.

tsc, I believe that you are, seriously I do

Fabbychic poor man? Really?

I assume he just has a full time job. Not a terminal illness or the loss of both his arms. I think he could probably sort himself out with clean trousers. It would probably be less effort than getting all flustered because his wife hasn't done it for him.

iteo, you are missing the point

you politely ask where things are

if there isn't a specific thing available, you find something else

you don't have "immense huffs" nor do you wake your partner from sleep to demand said items

OP's partner does these things and some people on this thread seem to think she should suck that up and just bloody well get on with her duties

fuck that

Actually, OP's DP asked her to wash his work trousers. I'm guessing he asked reasonably nicely or she would have mentioned it. She washed them and then forgot to hang them to dry. He wakes her up looking for said trousers. She gets a snot on. He is cross.

I need to know what has happened several times. OP forgetting trousers when she is asked to wash them, or DP getting in a huff about things in general.

< takes tsc's pie and tells her to get on with her fucking women's work >

since clara is too busy doing her women's work, we may never know, FW

you know what, tsc, if you did more housework, you will burn more calories

Well, as she's not here I'm going with her DP saying, "Darling, if it is not too much trouble, do you think you could wash my trousers today while I put in a 12 hour shift. Only if you have time. Don't put yourself out."

OP replies, "Of course, no problem." She then spends 12 hours on the sofa eating take-aways and watching TV, while the DCs scavenge from next door's bins.

When DP gets home OP says, "I've had a bugger of a day. You can look after DCs now while I have a bubble bath and an early night. Your dinner's in the shops."

Next morning, after too little sleep and facing another 12 hour day, DP can't find his trousers.

It's enough to make you weep.