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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

is this normal?

39 replies

Bronte · 18/08/2011 18:44

DP has just thrown all his evening meal in bin cos DD 6 years coughed over it without covering her mouth. She's now upset and i can't face eating anything.

OP posts:
EternalPie · 18/08/2011 18:56

I would have done the same as your DP.

But then I am arsey about stuff like that.

DontGoCurly · 18/08/2011 19:13

Hmm It'd take a lot more than that to put me off my food but people are different.....

Was there anything visible or was it just the fact she coughed ?

Original poster
Bronte · 18/08/2011 19:16

Just the cough. I think you're right EP. He's just arsey as well! I just see it as a complete OTT over reaction. Maybe it's not?

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 18/08/2011 19:18

Well, unless he is demanding a whole new dinner, it's his to do with as he pleases. I wouldn't eat it either. I would be miffed, especially as I drill the coughing manners into ds and it was avoidable. He's just hungry and hacked off.

kayah · 18/08/2011 19:18

Does he think that whathever germs she soughet up aren't in the air in the same room as the coughing happened?

overmydeadbody · 18/08/2011 19:20

No it's not normal.

ScarlettIsWalking · 18/08/2011 19:21

I would have done the same - sorry but hand covering mouth when coughing esp at the table in front of food is something DD knew at 3 yo.

Shinyshoes1 · 18/08/2011 19:24

its a cough and it's his daughter I'm assuming she hasn't got tuberculosis Hmm

People act too precious these days and waste too much food.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 18/08/2011 19:25

It's your dh's job to teach his dd to cover her mouth when she coughs, so he's failed in that respect hasn't he?

It's his dinner though to do what he wants with.

Did you cook it or did he? I bet it was you.

PuppyMonkey · 18/08/2011 19:26

No, not normal IMHO. Kids are kids, they sometimes make mistakes. Obviously not Scarlet's 3 yo Wink but, you know, lots of others.

CalamityKate · 18/08/2011 19:32

Oh diddums. He can't have been that hungry. What would he have done if, say, your daughter had coughed in his face when she was a baby? Washed his face in bleach? Hmm

babyhammock · 18/08/2011 19:45

How pathetic of him... what's he like the rest of the time?

Original poster
Bronte · 18/08/2011 19:49

Perfumed life seems to have a good take on it. It was just the dramatic way he had to demonstrate food going into bin! It was nothing elaborate by the way.. a jacket spud with bacon and salad!!

OP posts:
Spellcheck · 18/08/2011 19:56

Yes it's his dinner to do with as he wishes...but perhaps a more tactful approach would have been best? She's only 6, and probably really hurt! I think it was out of order - but then I'm a softie and hate seeing children upset by adults. They see things so differently to us. Hope she's ok now!

mrsravelstein · 18/08/2011 19:58

honestly i think it's bordering on creepily horrible to have reacted like that. bloody hell, ds1 has thrown up in my face and i didn't tell him off for that.

RubyLT · 18/08/2011 20:24

My DH would have done the same thing.

Chummybud1 · 18/08/2011 20:26

I think it's overboard. She is only little and is now upset, he should have done it discreetly but explained that she must cover her mouth and made himself a sandwich.

solidgoldbrass · 18/08/2011 20:30

Is your H someone who is particularly picky over food or squeamish about germs? If so, then there is some excuse for his behaviour; some people are really oversensitive about this sort of thing (and TBH generally sholdn't be allowed to eat in company and/or given a swift kick up the ringpiece if they start performing, anyway).
If he isn't normally like this, then his behaviour is a nasty, spiteful, attention-seeking piece of bullying, meant to upset and guilt-trip a six-year-old far more severely than a moment's carelessness deserves.

SheCutOffTheirTails · 18/08/2011 20:30

I agree with mrs - that is a horrible way to treat a 6 year old child.

DuelingFanjo · 18/08/2011 20:33

"It was just the dramatic way he had to demonstrate food going into bin! It was nothing elaborate by the way"

it's not the fact he did it that is wrong but the way he did it. He wanted to punnish her by the sound of it, by being a dog in a manger. Not nice IMO.

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 18/08/2011 20:35

No, it's not normal. Nasty. There were plenty of tactful ways he could have explained to her what she should have done and discreetly disposed of his dinner without upsetting her.

bejeezus · 18/08/2011 20:44

yes- agree with others. If he was REALLY repulsed he should have just left it or thrown it away discreetly, not used it to punish her

id be cross

spit in his tea

ThePosieParker · 18/08/2011 20:47

Is he her Dad?

elastamum · 18/08/2011 20:52

FGS! You all live in the same house, you swap germs all the time. If she spat in his dinner it wouldnt mean he would be any more likely to catch anything. In our house you can eat anything, provided you get to it before the dog does. I'm a healthcare scientist BTW

Hardgoing · 18/08/2011 21:27

Over-reaction. I might say (in a loud voice) 'oh, cover your mouth, you've just coughed on my food' and look a bit annoyed, but the moment would pass, hopefully they would apologise immediately and you could all move on. Doing a big dramatic throw-away just prolongs the whole thing,

However, if he's very squeamish, and not usually prone to making her upset, I'd let it go too. Perhaps she will think twice next time and you do have to learn as a child that even adults are a bit twattish sometimes.

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