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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Non Molestation Order - can I obtain an extension?

38 replies

trinity1 · 15/08/2011 23:34

Dear all,

I am going through a hard time at the moment and need some advice. I was in a long-term relationship with the father of our 2 children, who are now 5 and 4. He was a heavy drinker and was later diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder. He came to both our daughter's 20 week scans drunk out of his head and was repeatedly violent to me, both before, during & after both pregnancies. The drinking continued and he lost 2 jobs due to being drunk at work. There had been numerous occasions where I had to call the police due to the violence and he would leave the house and not come back for days. Our eldest actually saw him punch me.

Eventually I summoned the courage to get him out (I know I should have done it earlier, but if you've ever been in an abusive relationship, you know how hard it is once your self-esteem has been slowly destroyed). In March this year, he was admitted to hospital due to the drinking and bipolar. Whilst there, I obtained a non-molestation order, banning him from entering the house and ordering him to stay 100 metres away, which he has respected. The order runs out in 8 weeks and I'm terrified that if I cannot obtain an extension, he will be allowed to move back in. He has applied to the Council to be rehoused, and is a band A priority need, but I am worried the Order will run out before this happens as it seems to be taking ages to house him. Any advice will be so welcome. Thank you. x

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/08/2011 23:36

bump

Spero · 15/08/2011 23:42

Did you get an occupation order or just a non molestation order?

Is his name still on the tenancy?

Has he said that he wants to move back in? It sounds as though he understands the relationship is over as he has applied to be rehoused. If he has threatened to move back in you should be able to get a fresh non mol or occupation order but hopefully he has realised that he has to stay away.

Best thing to do is go and see a solicitor/Citizens Advice if you are worried. You have done the right thing by giving yourself time to sort it out before the original expires.

given the ages of your children I would think it extremely unlikely that he would be allowed to just move back in.

Original poster
trinity1 · 16/08/2011 00:12

Hi Spero. I did request an occupation order alongside the non-molestation order but was refused (cannot remember on what grounds as the whole process was very emotional and overwhelming) His name is on the tenancy and I've been told it cannot be removed unless a) he voluntarily takes it off (he's refused to do that) or b) he's rehoused, in which case his name comes off automatically. I have retained a solicitor, but my original solicitor left the company in June and I only found this out when I went in there to talk to him! The solicitor taking over my case is very abrupt and unsympathetic (a cow basically). I have applied for legal aid, but told to pay a retainer in case I don't qualify. I have a part time job and raise 2 children but may have to pay. Am bricking it as I may not qualify. There's no way I can afford the fees if I don't. My forms went off to the Legal Services Commission in April, but they have sent them back 4 times requesting further information. Is a nightmare. As the date gets closer I'm becoming more and more frightened. No one should have to go through this. It feels like the law is on his side and I have to prove that he's done the things he's done to me.

OP posts:
Spero · 16/08/2011 00:22

You can apply for a transfer of tenancy so he can be removed without his consent, but without knowing all the facts it is difficult to advise.

If there are problems with funding you can represent yourself, I am sure thee judge would be very sympathetic in all the circumstances. You just need to make sure you get your court hearing before the existing order expires.

I am sorry you are having all this trouble. Has he said he wants to move back in?

Original poster
trinity1 · 16/08/2011 00:31

I have asked for a transfer of tenancy without his consent but have been informed he has to write a letter stating his wish to remove his name from the tenancy. I seem to be hitting brick walls left, right & centre. The previous judge was female and very understanding. He was given an appeal date but did not turn up to court so the order was upheld. He is currently living with his parents, but has applied to the council to house him. I'm just praying he's housed before the middle of October. If he is, then this is all over and done with and I can move on with my life (which is bloody hard as we have children together so he will always be around - unfortunately). ps - yes, he has said he would like to move back in and start over. Since March the girls and I have lived here happy, without having to look over my shoulder constantly, with no fear. I don't want to go back to how it used to be.

OP posts:
babyhammock · 16/08/2011 07:50

As spero says you can represent yourself. You don't need a solicitor. Call womans aid and they can put you in touch with support workers in your area that do help with this kind of thing for free and who will go to court with you. You may have to pay the court application costs though but that'll be about £200.

You've got good grounds and in the meantime, prepare a statement outlining the history and why you need the order to continue. Put everything in, how you feel, worries, effects on DCs..everything.

AnyFucker · 16/08/2011 09:20

bump

Original poster
trinity1 · 16/08/2011 09:40

I have heard of CAFCASS - would you suggest I get in contact with them, too?

OP posts:
babyhammock · 16/08/2011 10:03

Not for the non molestation orders.

Snorbs · 16/08/2011 10:17

I can't help directly but I've heard that Rights of Women are well worth contacting in situations such as these. Good luck.

Original poster
trinity1 · 21/08/2011 11:25

Looks like he's about to be offered a property elsewhere, which will take him off my tenancy. Hope this happens before October which is looking likely. Fingers crossed. Thanks for all the advice - am so grateful x

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 21/08/2011 11:27

I had one of these 15 years ago, when one ran out and applied for another one to run for six months and got it, no reason why you can't, however the behaviour pattern from him has to be the same.

Original poster
trinity1 · 21/08/2011 11:41

Need to contact my Solicitor, who has been less than helpful. Am still waiting to hear from the Legal Services Commission regarding Legal Aid which has taken them 6 months to try and sort out. The help does seem to be on the side of the perpetrator, rather than the victim, but am hoping things will start looking up soon. My girls are settled now, which took some time so hopefully is the start of a new life for the girls and I. Fingers crossed. :)

OP posts:
Original poster
trinity1 · 06/09/2011 19:50

A little update. Have tried on numerous occasions to contact Solicitor to no avail, with date for Order running out next month, so am getting a little anxious. Ex has also said that seeing as the Order was served to him whilst he was in Hospital recovering from a manic episode its null and void and my solicitor would have been aware of this. In addition he's refusing all offers of housing from the council as he knows the clock is ticking (the order runs out on the 13th Oct). If the order cannot be extended he will be totally free to move right back in. Feel completely helpless and so very depressed about it all. :(

OP posts:
oldqueenie · 06/09/2011 20:18

you need to make an application to the court to extend the original order, with a sworn statement in support setting out why it is needed and attaching copies of previous orders made. the solicitor sounds crap. phone the firm and ask to speak to senior partner to explain your concerns and ask what you should do. if you get no joy you can do this on your own, (take a friend for moral support?). the important thing is to continue the protection before the orders run out. his messing about re housing is good evidence that he is being unreasonable. you need to make the application to the court that granted the original orders. hth. good luck.

neuroticmumof3 · 06/09/2011 20:31

I think you should put a post in legal asking if his mental state at the time it was served invalidates the injunction. Has he been in contact with you?

Original poster
trinity1 · 06/09/2011 20:59

Thank you, He has said to me that his parents have discovered that as his mental state was impaired when the order was served, this renders it null and void. I am at the end of my rope, trying to hold down a job whilst one daughter is at school and another at nursery. Just want the house in my name so I can resume my life with my children.

OP posts:
babyhammock · 06/09/2011 21:16

Right you need form FL403 and here is the pdf link for it:
hmctsformfinder.justice.gov.uk/courtfinder/forms/fl403_1202.pdf.
Fill it in and print it off.

You need to phone your local county court and ask them how much the application fee is and and relevant 'who do I address it to' type details.

Then get the original order and send it along with the completed form (its easy) and a sworn statement as to your reasons for it continuing and a cheque for the application fee. AND MAKE SURE YOU DO 3 COPIES OF EVERYTHING!!!!!
Ask the court if you can do it exparte when you speak to them, in which case as far as I know you can rock up to court with the relevant forms (3 copies!!) and get seen that day. You'll have to get there first thing though.

You CAN do this and they will extend it. There's no limit to how much they can extend the non molestation order as long as you have grounds, which you do.

Stay strong, it will be alright. Who needs that useless solicitor of yours eh x

babyhammock · 06/09/2011 21:18

Oh try not to take too much notice of his mental state being impaired... I don't think that will wash much with any judge unless it was impaired the entire time you were with him... in which case it arguably still is!

oldqueenie · 06/09/2011 21:45

the point re his mh at time order was made is red herring. the order was validly made, it was for him to apply to have it discharged (unmade) if he said it was invalid. until such time as court discharges it it is valid.

cestlavielife · 06/09/2011 22:01

Are you talking to him by phone or in person?
It takes a lot for a person to be declared mentally incapable

You can ask court clerks to help you file the correct document yourself or they may have aunit to support people representing themselves.

He may have the right to be in the house but if you are fearsome of his behaviour you could lock yourselves in and call police

FabbyChic · 06/09/2011 22:04

GET ANOTHER SOLICITOR AND FAST.

Apply for another order to run straight after the first one. Tell him if he thinks it is null and void to try and breach it and see what happens.

You don't always have to serve them, they can be granted without the need to serve. Mine were.

Original poster
trinity1 · 07/09/2011 18:40

He breached the order last night. He is currently in custody awaiting questioning. I have made a statement to police. Called Solicitors this morning to request an extension of the order and still awaiting a call back. Will be paying them a visit in the morning and won't be leaving until I have answers.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 07/09/2011 19:29

trinity1 sorry to hear your being bullied by your XDP and his family I think.

Can I ask if you live in the county of Worcestershire?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 07/09/2011 19:32

sorry got cut off before i could finish explaining myself.

If you live in Worcestershire there is a new police initiative i can tell you about.

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