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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

trouble at home

8 replies

holidayblues · 13/08/2011 10:22

we have had a couple of letters about ds, his involvement in rowdy parties when alcohol was thrown away, and another when the people he were with had alcohol.
ok so we grounded him for a week.
said no alcohol, that goes without saying, but does he listen.
we dont drink at home.
dh has a problem with drink.
i relented and let him out last night, i know i am crap and dh isnt talking to me now.
in fact dh has been bad tempered for ages.
he is unemployed, doesnt seem to be lookign for work and has been sober for about 6 weeks after a month binge. so i am always on the look out for signs

so much on mmy chest i wanted to get it out. i dont know whre

OP posts:
Original poster
holidayblues · 13/08/2011 10:23

i typed this out twice, the letters, for thsoe who are not mindreaders, are from the police,

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 13/08/2011 10:29

How old is he? Are you giving him money?

If he is over 18 he has to take responsibility for himself and you should be encouraging him to find work and not enabling him by allowing him to stay in bed late or live at home for free.

ImperialBlether · 13/08/2011 10:30

How old is your son?

It must be a terrible worry for you, having your DS get into trouble like that, particularly given the situation with his dad.

On the one hand, it could be normal teenage behaviour, but on the other he could be going down the same road as his dad.

Without knowing his age and where he gets his money from, it's difficult to give advice. Can you tell us a little more?

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 13/08/2011 10:30

how old is your DS holidayblues?

Original poster
holidayblues · 13/08/2011 10:35

sorry ds is 16.
dh is the unemployed one Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
holidayblues · 13/08/2011 10:37

i feel it is sort of normal teenage behaviour but the letters from the police are a bit of a shock and a worry.

OP posts:
Original poster
holidayblues · 13/08/2011 10:43

so basically troubles are threefold.

dh - not working

ds - trouble with police

dh - worried about dirnking relapse.

i have to go off line now. but would appreciate any words

OP posts:
lazarusb · 13/08/2011 13:44

Can you speak to your GP and arrange some counselling/practical support for your ds? If he is at school what can they do help him?

My son went through similar at 16/17 although his problems involved drugs as well...I know it's hellish. Try and amass as much support as possible. Is there a family member or friend who he would talk to?

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