Had a date with a guy who said 'not looking for anything long term'

[extraconfusedhelp]

I found it quite strange to say that on the second date. He seems like such a gentleman, so was surprised to hear him say he does not want anything longterm and has not been with anyone longer then 8months.

So obviously I understand he does not want anything long term, but what does he want? Does that mean just wants someone to sleep with? And if so why is he bothering with the dates part?

I dont know exactly what I'm looking for, but I feel that when people go on a date they go there open minded and open to ideas. Thats how i went there, how can you put a complete block on something before it has even started?

Well I would just like to hear what others think really....

op - if i were you i wouldn't bother seeing him again. i think you have different long-term aspirations esp. when you say things like you started thinking 'what's the point' towards the end of the evening.

Interesting debate, but as a physiologist / psychologist I would say its not that simple. Oxytocin has a role in bonding yes, but we are sooo much more complex than that and I think that the societal pressure we see on women to conform to certain roles also has a huge part to play in terms of what has become expected 'female' behaviour. We are so much more than our hormones.

What is also interesting is that the differences within the sexes - as often evidenced by the punch ups heated debates on MN are as great as the differences between them. A fact which is often overlooked in gender stereotyping.

So we get women who like pink fluffy stuff and like the OP yearn for a LTR, women who couldnt give a stuff about one, men who wear dresses and men, like the poor sod who is the subject of this thread who simply dont want a LTR.

All perfectly normal IMO.

BTW I dont do pink fluffy stuff either, its just not my thing

No, and yes, SGB.

Women release oxytocin after sex and while brest feeding; its role is to create a bond between them and the man or the baby.
But Oxytocin is found in men as well as women and many women don't actually have orgasms during sex, but manage to form attachments. It really is a lot more complicated than that and societal expectations play a huge role too.

ameliagrey Delusions of Gender is science. Very well researched, referenced and written by a neuroscientist.