DH and I (happy together, no plans to seperate), were discussing what we'd do if we broke up, hypothetically. This comes from discussions about the child support a friend's ex should be but isn't paying.
DH earns 65k a year, I earn nothing (SAHM). We were talking about the proportion of DH's income which would come to me as child support were we to break up (have 2 DCs, 6 and 9). After talking some more we 'agreed' that it would make more sense if DH was the resident parent as he could easily afford an au pair or similar (it would be less than what he'd pay me in CS were I the resident parent), plus housing etc etc (we rent), and he's quite senior so works from home often. I would retrain (eventual plan anyway when DCs are a little older), and pay him child support out of whatever my income was - could afford to rent a 1-bed place but not the three beds the RP would need, etc etc. I know that maintenance would be payable(?), were we to seperate but we were talking about what would be in the DCs best longterm benefit.
I came out of the discussion feeling pretty positive - it was interesting to discuss it all (we've always been into hypotheticals), to know what DH's kneejerk reaction to the situation would be. It also galvinised me to step up my retraining plans and get some more solid earning power - I wasn't expecting DH to embrace the idea of an au pair so wholeheartedly really.
I was chatting with a friend and she was horrified. She called us 'sick and morbid' for even having the conversation and said she couldn't believe I'd contemplate being the NRP - "how could you leave your kids?", she said. I've seen that expressed a lot on various forums etc when a mother is not the primary carer for the children but I'm not sure why it's so horrific a concept?
Are we completely odd for thinking about this, talking about this and am I horrible for considering living apart from the DCs if we were to break up?