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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

am i going ga ga

27 replies

rmabel · 30/07/2011 14:50

my dh is addicted to fb i perhaps shouldnt have but i checked his history , every day for months a womans name appeared who we both know but only he is fb friends with . i questioned him about why he looked at her profile every day ,and he completley denied having done so .i then went to prove it by bringing up the history again but her name had disappeared how can this be ?
is there any way of getting it back ?

OP posts:
Feenie · 30/07/2011 14:56

I don't know. Your story sounds exactly like another one which was deleted a couple of days ago, though.

GypsyMoth · 30/07/2011 15:13

Checked what history on fb?

What has gone? Chat messages? Wall posts? Private messages?

Original poster
rmabel · 30/07/2011 15:47

sorry didnt make myself very clear, on the computer history ( while he was on fb) the people who he was either talking to ( or looking at their pictures ) names appear .This womans name was on there every day for months but now its gone.

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TheOriginalFAB · 30/07/2011 15:49

He seems to have something he wants to hide.

If you know her too why not ask her to be your friend? God, that sounds like you are all 5.

Original poster
rmabel · 30/07/2011 15:57

im sorry if this all sounds a bit silly but i am really upset a)because he denies all knowledge and b) i know what i saw and now its not there to prove it .

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Original poster
rmabel · 30/07/2011 16:02

the thing is i am not hot on computers i dont know enough to restore deleted stuff .god this sounds ridiculous when i read it back but its really shaken me.

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TheOriginalFAB · 30/07/2011 16:06

God, no. I didn't mean you were all acting like you were 5. Sorry. I meant asking for someone to be your friend did. I was wondering about how you could go about finding out what has been going on without either of them hiding anything.

On my laptop I have two options for seeing history. One is click on history and then click on the links there.

Original poster
rmabel · 30/07/2011 16:27

yep ive done this all history came up except the ones i had seen with her name thats why i think he may have deleted it but i dont know enough to find out

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neuroticmumof3 · 30/07/2011 17:40

if you blocked someone on Facebook all their history would disappear so maybe that's what he's done?

SingOut · 30/07/2011 18:04

Surely blocking someone on facebook doesn't retrospectively remove past internet browsing history from the computers hard drive! I'm sure that's not the case.

Hopefully a techy person will be along shortly. As you know you saw what you saw, however, maybe that's enough. You don't need proof, and the fact he's gone and deleted selectively to make it look as though you are mistaken is pretty dodgy, and speaks volumes about his guilt.

itwasthat · 30/07/2011 20:21

YOU CAN DELETE APGES OF YOUR CHOICE FROM YOUR BROWSING HISTORY

garlicbutter · 30/07/2011 21:51

Rmabel, he can delete all his FB history or only selected parts of it. He can also delete selected entries from the computer's history. You did see what you saw.
He might pretend you didn't see anything, but don't worry - you did see it and now he's deleted it.

Now you know he's lying to you, what are you going to do? How are you feeling?

havealittlefaithbaby · 31/07/2011 20:28

Surely the issue here is that you're suspicious and his behaviour has only made it worse. Have toy sat down with him and told him that you're upset?

Original poster
rmabel · 31/07/2011 22:23

Could these deletions have been done from an i phone does any body know ?

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Original poster
rmabel · 31/07/2011 22:24

and thanks for your help x

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FabbyChic · 31/07/2011 22:32

What do you mean the history? Are you talking the browser history so when you click it it goes to her profile? If you are talking the box at the top of fb that is random and shows what it thinks you may want to see.

Original poster
rmabel · 31/07/2011 22:35

I mean the browser history

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babyhammock · 31/07/2011 22:37

garlicbutter is right

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAW, the fact he is denying it and destroying the evidence means he not only has something to hide but he's treating you like an idiot.

Forget trying to reason with him, I don't think you'll get anywhere and he'll probably twist it round so that not only do you think you're gaga but you're a whatever for daring to question him.

I'd say his actions speak volumes for what's actually going on here, but I'm guessing you need more proof. A bit more amateur detective work methinks.

Original poster
rmabel · 31/07/2011 22:38

by the way i have told him exactly how upset i am he has sworn on all that matters to us that he has not been looking at her profile . it just gets worse

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Original poster
rmabel · 31/07/2011 22:39

thank you garlic butter what can i do ?

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babyhammock · 31/07/2011 22:50

What a knob..
I'd make him think that I buy his story and I have made a mistake. Then do some more digging.
Its a very hard situation to be in. You know he's lying but he's denying it to your face in spite of overwhelming evidence.. ex used to do this loads and you do start doubting yourself. It really puts you off kilter and its such a cruel thing to do

HerHissyness · 31/07/2011 23:24

C&P time.... See if YOU all understand what I've frigging said to him and why am I bashing my phone on my forehead???

Me: You need to decide what you need to do to live until that flat is sold. I have my life and it's going OK. I wouldn't change a single thing about it. If you do decide to come back to the UK, please don't tell DS at the moment as he's been very worried that you will shout &throw things. He misses you, but you scared him. We neither will put ourselves in that environment ever again. If you're somewhere in the UK, we will arrange visits when possible.

HIM: Can I stay at your place when I come back to england?

TWAT!

HerHissyness · 31/07/2011 23:25

oh sorry, wrong thread Blush

HerHissyness · 31/07/2011 23:30

Seeing as I crashed in, only proper to pay attention and post! Grin

he is certainly pulling the wool over your eyes, or trying to at the very least.

OK,so you are not mad, you know what you saw, and he is barefaced lying to you. Store this one up, be on your guard and wait.

Trust your insticts. they never lie.

Original poster
rmabel · 01/08/2011 12:58

my daughter is really brilliant with computers (shes grown up and has kids ) should i involve her by asking her to see what she can do ? dh actually suggested this as a way to "prove his innocence " .

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