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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

FIL issue

8 replies

banite · 23/07/2011 16:13

Hi, Ive got a crisis of conscious.

What would you do if you came across your FIL on a dating site?

Ignore it, check it out?

OP posts:
keynesian · 23/07/2011 16:30

Ignore it presuming he's single. Why would you want to check it out? Older people are allowed to look for relationships/sex/love aren't they?

Original poster
banite · 23/07/2011 16:52

Hes married to dh's mum.

OP posts:
GollyHolightly · 23/07/2011 16:55

I'd probably have a nosey, but you never know, his wife might even know he's doing it!

More to the point, assuming that you're still married to his son, why were you on the dating site? Wink

Original poster
banite · 23/07/2011 17:02

Looking at family tree's, google search, wtf.

Im fairly sure its not a joint thing as we're all pretty close, but I guess you never really know.

It upset me and I dont want to upset dh, maybe It best to forget about it? It caught me rather off guard.

OP posts:
GollyHolightly · 23/07/2011 17:05

I can see that it would upset you, sorry, didn't mean to minimise your feelings about it by being silly.

Could you possibly make up some story about this happening to a friend of yours to gauge his reaction and judge from that what to do next?

I mean, it's not really any of your business what his parents get up to but now you have the information I can see that you'd be a bit confused as to what (if anything) you should do with it.

I bet you wish you'd never seen it!

Original poster
banite · 23/07/2011 17:19

Yeah, it was a suprise to say the least.

Was thinking of the 'my friend is in this situation what would you do', but doubt I could pull it off, he tends to see through me.

If it was me I dont think I would want to know..

gah

OP posts:
GollyHolightly · 23/07/2011 17:23

You've been put in an awkward situation, that's for sure, and I suspect that before long you will have a myriad of contradictory replies here split largely down the middle between tell him and keep it to yourself.

There's always the option of speaking directly to your FIL of course. Not a comfortable conversation, but you perhaps do some damage limitation by getting his side of the story and/or showing how easy it is to be caught out and perhaps he should... stop?!

Original poster
banite · 23/07/2011 17:30

Good idea, maybe just talking to FIL would be for the best.

Thanks for your replies, I feel better just being able to discuss it without upsetting anyone.

I know compared to most issues on here its rather trivial, but saves me over thinking it like a crazy person. :)

OP posts:
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