i need some opinions i guess.
its about our failing relationship.
DP and i genrally bumble along nicely,when its good,it's great,but were both tired and snappy sometimes,i can be quite emotional and angry when i f eel frustrated.
anyway,a few months ago i caught him watching porn ,he knew how i felt about it,and i thought i knew how he felt about it,i was a huge shock and i felt like i didnt know him anymore.
then about a month later he lied to my face.
the lie really rocked me,the fact that he could lie so easily and completely.i wouldnt have known and im sure he would never have told me unless i already had evidence.
the lie is quite a long story,he used to smoke cannabis (so did i a long time ago) so we were at a 'going away party' for some friends who were emmigrating,he had a joint,fine IMO(the kids WERE NOT there) so this is where the lie starts.
when we came home,he brought some back with him,then when that ran out he texted his old dealer and bought some more.
i found the text,and asked him if he had any drugs in the house.
he said NO,he woiuld never do that,why would i think that?i asked if he was SURE there was nothing i should know about,he says NO.
i show him the text and he says sorry,he shouldnt have lied etc etc etc.
he handed over the cannabis,and i have gotten rid of it.
im having trouble getting over this lie,its the LIE thats the biggest problem for me.
when i bring it up,he tries to make me feel guilty about mentioning it,like ive ruined a good day.he seems to turn it around on me,almost listing all my bad points,making out im the problem.he seems to despise me.but when i ask if he wants to leave,he says no,and gets either really upset(as he did last night) or almost angry.
when i dont bring anything up,we get along well,he's very hands on dad,gets home from work and cooks/cleans/helps with the DC,always,its about as 50/50 as you can get.
i want to salvage this,but i dont know how.
i suppose i am quite emotionally unstable,(im going to the DR's about this) but ive either been pregnant or BFing for four years straight,im a SAHM and im exhausted.i cant make head nor tail of this anymore.
there is no one in RL to talk to about this.
i need to go out quite soon,but i will be back later today.
im sorry it's so long.