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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Celebration that there is some good guys out there!

26 replies

Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 17:33

After reading a lot of threads and also listening to my friends almost daily, I just want to say.........

Mine. is. great.

I am certainly not rubbing people's noses in it who arent having a good time and I am not gloating I just feel so lucky when I read some of these things.... I also feel quite sad that I seem to be in the minority. Can we not start a thread called mine is great because?

I listen to my friends and colleagues talking about their DP and Im genuinely mortified. My exP was a shit, cheated, lied, aggressive etc etc but my DP of 6 years although I have known him well since I was 16 is an amazing man.

I am his priority, is he kind, gentle, funny and makes me feel as special today as he did the first day we got together. ( ok ok bork :) )

Im a hard egg to crack too!

Surely there is some good men out there somewhere????

:)

OP posts:
lazarusb · 09/07/2011 17:40

Of course there are. I know several and I'm fortunate enough to be married to one. He is, of course, equally fortunate to be married to me too [hgrin]

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 17:49

haha lazarusb Im glad! It makes me feel quite lucky! Although having only really known him for 13 years, maybe i should repost in another 40 years! :)

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 09/07/2011 18:11

Is this honestly for real?

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 18:16

As in do i seriously think my partner is the only decent man in the world?

Obviously, I know there are many great men! My point is that we often hear about all the bad and there is some good ones out there.

:)

OP posts:
queenmaeve · 09/07/2011 18:20

Why would you come onto the relationship section and start this thread. Why not chat?

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 18:24

I thought this section of relationships was about relationships in general not just the negatives?

Apologies if ive caused offence will move it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 18:28

....... if anyone can tell me how :(

OP posts:
BabyYoureAFirework · 09/07/2011 18:36

Oh don't have a go at the OP... this section isn't just for negative posting, is it?

SingOut · 09/07/2011 18:40

I love hearing about people's happy relationships. It give me hope that maybe, if I am lucky, one day I will find someone equally as nice. The Relationship section on MN is stuffed with tales of horrible men behaving appallingly, so it's nice to redress the balance.

Malificence · 09/07/2011 18:43

There are very often threads like this on relationships, and why not?
It's nice to sing the praises of our wonderful menfolk - it's good to be reminded that not all men are porn using, lap dance going idiots who see their families as a hinderance.

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 18:44

Looking through the section i can see its mainly about DV/ Abused/ people having a shit time, i guess it was a bit stupid of me to post it here anyway.

the reason behind the post is I just had a similiar conversation with the lasses from work other day. After hearing them and their problems with their partners and they asked me "what mine does wrong" i answered them "nothing - well he snored too much, has fickle hobbies that cost a fortune sometimes, his cooking isnt great and he is pretty skint, But he comes home to me every day, doesnt spend his nights in pubs, is honest with me whether i like what i hear or not, has never raised his voice at me, never mind a hand" And i was proud.

Its a sad world really, when your "proud" that your partner treats you with respect and love.

Anyway like i said i didnt mean to cause any offence, my point was all you hear is how bad husbands are, well they arent always, noone should have to settle for being treat like shit and too many think that kind of behaviour is normal.

ive reported my own post as I cant see how I can delete it or move it myself.

Sorry again to anyone I have offended it honestly was not what I intended. I shall take my gushing elsewhere. :)

OP posts:
TimeForMeIsFree · 09/07/2011 18:57

It wasn't stupid of you to post in this section at all Signet2012, it's called 'Relationships' not 'Bad Relationships'. It makes a refreshing change to hear of a good relationship. I am 17 months out of an abusive relationship and it's good to know there are some great men out there. No need to run away Smile

queenmaeve · 09/07/2011 18:59

Sorry signet. I shouldn't have been so quick of the mark. You did not offend me. Just me overthinking things. I always worry about upsetting others with tales of a happy mariage, which is very silly of me. For you Wine ?

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 19:00

Aw good, :) thanks

My first thread and Im causing Havoc, Honest somedays i think the only time i open my mouth is to change feet.

:)

OP posts:
Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 19:01

ooo Wine dont mind if I do.... :)

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 09/07/2011 19:04

I love hearing about good relationships - it provides someone like me with good pointers as to what is possible and should be expected as normal.

OP - really happy for you - more stories about Mr Signet please :)

queenmaeve · 09/07/2011 19:05

Think I have a touch of the foot in mouth too Grin

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 20:19

:) BibiBlocksberg - thats one of the reasons I made the post, I think if there where more people who said "well actually no, thats not normal my partner ...." people might not think differently about what they expect.

I started seeing my exp at 15, I was with him til 23 and in that time he fathered 2 children, (not to me i may add) lied, stole, and point blank refused to let me do anything i wanted, told me i was fat/ugly/stupid and I thought, that it was normal.

Unfortunately unlike the posts about men being the pains in the relationship I have to admit to being the "shitty" partner, Im very fortunate to have Mr Signet. He has unfortunately however, had to put up with 5.5 years of paying for mistakes that where not made by him, such as me goading him into fighting with me, my constant i dont need you, just so you know talks. (great for his self esteem!) and only in the last year have i felt "safe" and "comfortable" to be completely honest with myself and him about how important he actually is to me. In this time he has been understanding, patient, not complained about my lack of affection and generally been amazing.

He says he is normal and my views on such things are warped. :)

Dont care. I think he is amazing. (dont tell him i said that though, this hard faced cow image took years to perfect :) )

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 09/07/2011 20:41

Grin Signet - I'm of a similar mindset - the more horrible I am to a man the more it means I like him.

It's a sort of 'you think I'm special?' Are you mad? Or blind or both?

'ok then, if you're so keen then prove it'

Oh god, I'm still a teenager :)

If mr signet has any brothers chuck em this way pls Grin

queenmaeve · 09/07/2011 20:47

bibi has someone made you feel you shouldn't be thought of as special?

BibiBlocksberg · 09/07/2011 20:51

queenmaeve - had a pretty abusive upbringing so the whole 'special' thing has always been a struggle for me.

tallwivglasses · 09/07/2011 20:52

Signet - don't feel bad about starting this thread - it's reminded me that I haven't given up entirely, I'm just on a break till I start looking for a nice old codger when I hit my 60's Wink

lazarusb · 09/07/2011 21:18

I think that kind of reasoning and attitude is fairly normal for those who have suffered abuse. I did the same thing with dh and he put up with it and was never less than loving. We've been together over 16 years now and I realise how lucky we are to have found each other Smile

Original poster
Signet2012 · 09/07/2011 22:06

My upbringing was fine in a lot of ways, but there was a lot wrong with it too. Nothing I could write a book on but only now when me and DP talk (which has took years of little conversations here and there) i realise how profound the effect has been on me of what happened and still happens to an extent.

I can now, with his help see that Im not a bad person who doesnt deserve anything good but a normal person who has some queer ideas about relationships and a strong self protection instinct.

Im not entirely sure what he sees in me or why he is still even here! But he is, and im happy.

Im not sure I will ever be "normal" and im sure he will have his work cut out for a while yet lol but i hope i stay "worth his hassle" for a while yet :)

he has a number of brothers :) He is from a good family, good stock :)

OP posts:
queenmaeve · 09/07/2011 23:18

Sad bibi I hope you've come to realise you deserve as much as the next person.

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