trying to reestablsih a relationship with ex while he is still with OW

[morepositive]

I have loitered in the back ground since joining after my husband left for OW a few months ago. I have gained great strength from reading the posts and the fantastic advice form others.
I am on AD which are starting to work .My EH and I had a complex relationship with lots of ups and downs etc.
I was beyond shocked when he left and for the first time in our volatile history I do believe it is over. He has never as far as I know had an affair before.
However I have had a few counseling session and have decided despite what he?s done and the fact he is with OW I am going to quietly fight for my man
I?m sure most of you will think I am mad .But in my sessions we talked about what would I find easier to deal with

• him out of my life and no contact other than odd text about children , who are old enough to see their dad without intervention fom m

OR
-to maintain a relationship with him of some sorts, which may or may not over time lead to more

I decide being with him makes me happier even now than not being with him.We still laugh together, talk together, he says he loves me but can?t be with me

My therapist believes it is worth a try
We had not bees speaking for a couple of weeks after a series of awful arguments and I was trying to detach.
However when he arrived to pick upDS I went outside to speak to him. He said he hates us rowing, wants us to be friends, better for all of us especially DS
When he comes tonight to pick up DS , he has said he will fix a problem with computer. I feel with no pressure on him, no mentioning of OW who will be insane if she finds out we are reestablishing a relationship, we can bit by bit restore our friendship and see where that leads us.
I?m sure lots of people will think I?m mad but I?m really interested to know if anyone else absolutely though it was over, no going back and has been able to turn it around
And if any one has any GOOD advice
Thanks so much

You haven;'t mentioned your son once OP, since your first post.
How old is he? How is he coping? Are you even thinking of him for one minute?

I think it might be good for you OP. Just have some fun and don't take it too seriously!

I think also it might help you to stop obsessing about your ex and move on. Just don't cling to this man, it's just a date so enjoy it for what it is.

How unprofessional of the SOL, not to mention desperate! He doesn't sound like a good choice even for casual dating. Better to focus on yourself and dc.

It sounds like the OP called him for a bit of advice as an old friend/colleague, he's not actually her solicitor so I don't see that makes him unprofessional.

"i gave him a good few punches in the head though"

I lost most of the sympathy I had for you right there OP. Not even so much that you did it, but that you dropped that fact in so casually, with not a hint of regret.

I'm biting my tongue as to why your relationship might have floundered, given that you think it's fine to physically assault someone because you're angry with them. I will say that you sound very very disturbed at the moment, and I hope that you get the help you need; for your sake and your children.

Did you really punch him in the head?! I missed that bit!

You mentioned that you have a volatile history. Was it a physical relationship, as in fighting? If so then that is very worrying. How old is your DS? Does he witness this?

Thank you ILoveYouToo. I was amazed nobody picked up on that.

I did, find OP's issues confusing! Not really sure how much of the story we're getting. I suppose that's the nature of MN.

OP said "The letter [from the OW] was informing him [GP] I am mentally ill, harassing my ex and could he comment on any effects on my mental health if she goes to the police to report me for harassment."

Sending abusive texts to him and to the OW, and physically attacking your ex do constitute harassment. If what you said in the above paragraph is the case, then she wasn't asking your GP to disclose details of your mental health to her, but to the police. It sounds from what you've written on this thread that what she told the GP is largely accurate, and I think that if your not careful, you could find yourself arrested for harassment and assault.

This needs to be a huge wakeup call to you! Leave your ex and his GF alone! Please focus on your children - they must be distraught at all this - and on getting the help you need to manage your pain and your anger.