Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Has anyone on here any good ideas for revenge?

40 replies

anniemosity · 15/06/2011 16:39

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas for revenge that they had either carried out or fantasised about on abusive twat exes. I see nothing wrong with revenge as long as it makes you feel better. I have namechanged for this post.

Several years ago I was unfortunately in an abusive relationship with a creep who was obsessed with himself, cannabis and sex. He had tried to bully me into taking cannabis as well as class A drugs and into taking part in sexual practices I was very uncomfortable with. Plus lots and lots of other things, too much to go in to right now.

When I finally broke up with him for good, I returned the vibrators he had bought me (yes he bullied me into using sex toys too, I hated it Blush) with a note which read:
"Dear Ex-Creep, I have had my use from these. They were better than anything you had to offer me, but not as good as what I'm getting now. You don't need me to tell you where you can stick them."

Childish I know and it would have definitely hurt him as he always saw himself as God's gift to women. And it made me feel soooo much better and over him!

OP posts:
NanettaStocker · 15/06/2011 16:47

It's a cliché, but the best revenge is always living well.

That, and crab eggs ordered from the internet Grin

PaigeTurner · 15/06/2011 16:58

Ten years ago someone I was seeing stood me up for the umpteenth time when I was supposed to be cooking him dinner. So I drove round to his house with his portion (including red wine sauce) in a plastic bag and emptied it through his letterbox. Then I went to the pub.

Aislingorla · 15/06/2011 17:16

Love threads like these.....

hurryup · 15/06/2011 19:20

agree with Nanetta, the best revenge is living well. But fuck is it hard to doSad

Omigawd · 15/06/2011 19:57

Scissors. Your flexible friend.

deburca · 15/06/2011 20:06

once heard of a guy who not only 2-timed his girlfiend with anything with a pulse but had tried it on with her sister - the sister signed this guy up to gay sex sites - giving his work email address! lol not only that but she had gay magazines delivered to work - apparently people were walking up to him at work outings for months after it telling him how brave he was to come out and even his boss had him into the office telling him the door was always open if he needed to talk!

absolutely roared with laughter when i heard about it

kyacat · 15/06/2011 20:56

Crab eggs! For real? What kind of crabs? [shocked]

Tosellornotto · 15/06/2011 21:24

I bought an exes new (read ow) a drink in a bar in front of him telling her to go for her life as she would need it, I then found out he had broken three of her ribs and out her in hospital and felt a bit bad about my comments though, don't really do revenge but find the stories funny.

CroissantNeuf · 15/06/2011 21:30

I know someone who sent her ex a pair of his boxers back to him through the post but before she sent them she sprinkled them with cress seeds, watered them and let them start growing Grin

Deaddei · 15/06/2011 21:37

Someone once sent me a dead fish through the post as I had been seeing her ex boyfriend. Classy.

bayley8 · 15/06/2011 21:43

tena lady do tena men, they send out male 'samples' my ex was a div to me and also happened to be a personal trainer at a gym. i had them sent there... ha ha!!

allfunandgames123 · 15/06/2011 21:43

I know of someone who also done the cress seed thing, but this was by letting herself into his home whilst he was on holiday and soaking everything floors, furniture the lot and then sowing the cress seeds in!

ginbob · 15/06/2011 21:47

loving this thread, we want more please!!! (p.s. from boring married person with no revengeful history, just fun to read but NOT fun at the time)

IwanttobeShirleyValentine · 15/06/2011 21:51

This was years ago but when I was working in a souless huge open plan office for an Insurance company the most exciting thing ever happend. A girl about 4 desks down from me got arrested at work for her revenge seeking.

She had found out her fiance had been shagging around behind her back. let herself into his flat armed with tubes of superglue and basically super glued everything in there. Mugs & kettle to the worktop, kitchen drawers shut, bowl in the kitchen sink, shampoo to the bath, cushions to the sofa, remote to the coffee table, loo seat etc etc.

She lost her job because of it - that was probably a bonus as it was a shit place to work. I saw here about years later out in town one night and she still maintained it was revenge well spent and she had no regrets despite a criminal record.

chickychick · 15/06/2011 22:30

Thumped ex h with box he needed 4 stitches in his lip punched his ow (s**t )got locked up in cells for few hours but he would not press charges (wise move !!) def worth it

smartyparts · 15/06/2011 22:34

good grief

SpareRoomSleeper · 16/06/2011 00:51
Confused
tallwivglasses · 16/06/2011 01:01

chicky - next time try prawns in the curtain rail. hth.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 16/06/2011 01:11

An abusive lying twat of an ex who used to let himslef into my flat while i was at work found a spare credit card cheque book and spent 1500 in forged cheques, then took my car without my knowledge and crashed it while drunk one afternoon.

I said i knew about it but understood that he had problems with money and life and could find a way to forgive him and stay friends.(he said he had issues as an ex Royal Marine in the Falklands war etc and blamed his behaviour on this - however it all sounded really fishy to my mates dad who was also an ex Royal Marine) I got him a night shift as a delivery driver for the crap company i was working for (and about to leave) on the agreement that he paid me back in 4 weekly installments and bought the crashed car from me. He agreed that he could mend it and use it.

During the last week of my employment (he didn't have a clue i was leaving) i got my final money, and signed over the car log book. The car back seat was soaked with a few tins of tuna and the tank filled with sugar and delivered by a mate to his house.

When i left I tipped off a HR colleague to check up on his military references and they turned out to be fake, so he got sacked the week after i left.

Bogeyface · 16/06/2011 01:27

I have posted about this before but it deserves another airing!

The short version is that my sister was badly fucked over by an ex that was in the army. She called and wrote to him knowing he would ignore her, making out that he needed to get in touch about something serious. He did ignore her so she was justified in calling his CO and telling the CO that her ex had given her a "social disease" and he should be checked out. Being the army and therefore confidential, it was around the camp in seconds and the ex was given the bollocking of his life by the CO, not for doing the dirty on my sister but for being stupid enough to pick up VD! He had to contact all his exes and tell them to get checked out and obviously also live with the massive piss taking from his colleagues. Then he found out that he was clear, and so was my sister!

He is still know as "Clap XXX" in our town many years later :o:o

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 16/06/2011 01:51

Hmm. Really, the best revenge is moving on swiftly and looking faintly bemused and indifferent whenever the XP's name is mentioned - 'Oh, him? Went out with him for a while, haven't thought about him since...' But if it's all a bit raw and recent or it was a long-term relationship/marriage - only do something that will make you look and sound quite cool ie something you could tell in later years as a good funny story. So, prawns in the curtain rails/itching powder in the pants/sending a mocked-up picture of you doing something appalling to his toothbrush: yes. Anything that could justifiably get you arrested ('being dumped' is NOT a reasonable defence): no.
Oh, and if you resort to beating up your XP or whoever s/he dumped you for, well that will just make people think that you deserved to be dumped, because you are a horrible violent buckethead.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 16/06/2011 01:54

I couldn't afford not too though Springchicken, i was penniless and couldn't pay the bills back on my own. I had to get that money before i sodded off!

fuzzpigFriday · 16/06/2011 04:18

I am intrigued by the crab eggs?!?

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 16/06/2011 10:20

Binfull: I can see your point and yours was quite stylish - and successful.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 16/06/2011 10:33

I wouldn't recommend it though as he was violent and nasty, but i couldn't risk losing my little flat so i kept it calm and dignified until the car exchange!

I agree with the dignified "cone of silence" if you've been jilted or cheated on, and are alive and safe, pick yourself up and carry on with dignity.

Dh crazy ex tried so many nasty things with me (she was happy to separate as long as dh had no life with anyone else, when he did she went mental and i got the brunt of it) but it used to frustrate her when i jut used to close down the window on my world and ignore her.

Revenge generally means that you are still thinking about an ex which is still an ego massage and only makes you look crazy.....

Swipe left for the next trending thread