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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

lonely...

5 replies

jbcbj · 13/06/2011 22:05

I had a thread a few days ago here in AIBU, the gist of which is that DH told me a couple of months ago that he didn't think he loved me any more. We are friends, going to Relate, have 2 DCs but I just feel so lonely right now. Can manage most of the time and trying hard to make it work, but right at this particular moment it's not happening.

OP posts:

FabbyChic · 13/06/2011 22:13

Have you considered going to evening classes to meet new people? Do you have close friends you could confide in?

It's hard when your life changes when you least expect it.

Takes time to adjust and become a single person again when you have always been with someone. You will get over the lonliness but it will take time.

Original poster

jbcbj · 13/06/2011 22:18

I have loads of friends around here, and I am not single (hopefully there is no "yet" on the end of that) and I am not physically lonely iyswim, but I thought that I was loved by him and have had the rug pulled out from me rather suddenly. We get on very well - to all viewpoints it is still a lovely marriage, and he is a lovely person but I just feel...um...lonely and unloved right now. I wrote a letter to him earlier but didn't realise how angry I was so I don't think giving it to him would really help matters....it's a bit harsh!

bit garbled, sorry. I'm also knackered.

OP posts:

Original poster

jbcbj · 13/06/2011 22:18

thanks for replying....

OP posts:

BranchingOut · 22/06/2011 13:03

bumping up your thread.

Has he said anything about the letter yet?

OhWesternWind · 22/06/2011 13:30

Hi there and sorry to hear what has happened. I have been in a similar position myself not so long ago so I can empathise a bit with how you are feeling right now. I am not sure how to say this, really, but why do you want to stay in a marriage where your dh doesn't love you? It is no wonder that you feel so low and lonely. Your husband/partner should think you are the centre of his world and have a deep and abiding love for you, and and it is going to take you time to come to terms with what he has said and to grieve for what you thought your relationship/future was going to be. It truly is a mourning process and once you realise that, a lot of things make more sense.

It is hard to split up or even to think about it, but I have found out personally that the fear of being alone (well, with my children) was far, far worse than the reality. Strangely enough, I actually feel far less lonely now than I did when I was with ex.

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