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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Reading the Lundy Bancroft book and.....

12 replies

LadyBlaBlah · 30/05/2011 10:07

it is like a checklist for my marriage. It is almost like he has been perched in the corner of all the rooms in our house spying on us.

My eyes are officially open and I feel weak no more. I will be in contact with Women's Aid this week who hopefully will help me with an exit plan. I will be out of here by September and scared and controlled no more Smile

Can't believe I have spent so many years living like this.

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 30/05/2011 10:45

Another convert to the church of Saint Lundy of Bancroft. Best of luck with reclaiming your freedom! "The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none."

humptydidit · 30/05/2011 11:46

congratulations lady you are now officially at the start of your new life Grin.

Take a quick look at this article

www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html

for some tips on staying safe while you plan to leave, remember abusive men often become more abusive the more they think that we are trying to get away from them, so try to stay safe and grey and boring like in the link.

HerHissyness · 30/05/2011 14:01

Oh love, not you too?!

I'm glad you've found the courage to buy and read the book, it'll help you reclaim your life.

Now, where is that link for EA....

humptydidit · 30/05/2011 18:33

lady come and join us!!!

Have a Brew or Wine

butterflybee · 02/06/2011 12:20

fantastic book... it's made me feel so much less crazy. good luck to you!

QueenofWhatever · 02/06/2011 20:24

Come and celebrate with the rest of us in the Church of Lundy, it's a great place to be.

And to be a downer, start being very careful, hyper vigilant and keep a diary.

bigbuttons · 02/06/2011 22:05

Lady welcome to the thread that hissy linked to. It's a life line.

FreudianSlipper · 03/06/2011 08:37

great. its a fantastic book. its empowering when you suddenly see everythign clearly and for what it really is

keep yourself safe now is more important than ever and be aware he may also be on his best behaviour but you know all that as you have read the book. keep us updated there is lots of support on here

krissydw1 · 20/06/2011 10:03

Is the Lundy One the Best one I have read the other one reccomended The Verbally Abusive Relationship

HerHissyness · 20/06/2011 15:19

I have that too... I ought to read it!

HerHissyness · 20/06/2011 15:22

krissy: Lundy will show you that they kind of work to a script, that the behaviour and entitlements are jaw droppingly similar. It will show you that you couldn't have done anything to prevent it.

It will allow you to forgive yourself for having allowed this man into your life. He tricked you love, it was a lie, designed to get him in where he needed to be.

try it! I think you'll love the book! I did!

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