can someone talk this through with me? dh's moods.

[oranges]

I justdon't know anymore if this is normal. Dh is perfect in most ways, easy going, love of my life, great dad. But sometimes, when he is stressed or tired, he gets this weird mood, where he goes all stiff and starey, and at some point yells. not at anyone in particular, but he's tall and has a loud voice so its scary, for me and the children. He always apologises, but I find that I end up trying to mamage his moods so he doesn't reach that point, but every now and then I get fed up of tiptoing and get grumpy. I'm at that point tonight. just don't know what to do really. I love him, he loves me. But I don't like the shouting, and the fear of shouting.

ach dont worry. good night

Hmm. When you say he gets stiff and starey and yells, is that all at the same time? Does he yell when there are other people in the room or does he go off? And what does he shout - is it sort of yelling at himself? You say he has moods and you tiptoe round him - I can relate to that. Is that a separate issue from the yelling? Sorry to ask so many questions but it's hard to work out what he's like without some more detail.

does he know its frightening you and your children? if he does, and he still does it, that would be worrying...

does he know he does it? its not some kind of ''episode'' that he doesn't remember? just that you say he gets stiff and starey...

it comes very close to emotional abuse if you feel scared of him. actually, it IS emotional abuse if he is scaring you on a regular basis.

are you OK?

What I thought when you said stiff and starey was a seizure or even an absence, but im not sure the fact he's aware of it.

You really need to speak to him about it and try and get to the root cause of such stress as well, perhaps he could have some kind of outlet to help reduce his stress levels, going a walk to clear his head perhaps and some thinking time.

I would stop you and the children tiptoeing around, you'll just end up feeling emotionally worn down by it and resentful, the kids will think its 'normal', your allowed to be angry as well you know and its not your behaviour thats causing it anyway, by doing this, you are kind of giving him permission to act this way iyswim.