Chin up and tits out for the recently ditched.. in here!

[lubeybooby]

Hi all

Noticed this thread title before but it seems to have moved on to "dumpling no more"

I'm not quite ready for that yet and noticed a few of us being in the same situation so thought I would start this thread for anyone findingly themselves single all of a sudden.

Pull up a chair, get yourself a or a and a cream cake (or push it away because you still can't eat) and lets begin healing the wounds here.

We will survive.

TT please stop blaming yourself, it's not your fault. By blaming yourself your still letting him control you. I couldn't see that myself untill two or three days ago.

Banana i find myself feeling like the worst mother in the world on an hourly basis. I feel that I have failed them even though I know I haven't. For weeks everytime they cried I cried (I still do but can at least hold it in to leave the room) I was explaining and excusing Daddys jack ass behaviour but even at such a young age they know who is in the wrong. It was there father that choose to leave for OW they do not know this but they know he left through his own choice. I have been finding it difficult to process my own grief and feel like a horrid selfish CRAP mother when I can't cope with theirs. I keep trying to look to the future too....a happy loving future with my DC's but right now it's BLACK!!

lueby agree with patience......loving your "UTTER AND TOTAL CUNTY BASTARD!" I feel like screaming that every time I see X. I like your idea of a list, think I might work on that myself. I feel the same, I have been longing for the man I fell in love with not the abusive twat that he became over the last couple of years. Its so sad that somewhere inside I want to believe that the man I fell in love with is still there.

Well my X seems set on making my life as difficult as possible. He came for the kid's yesterday and they refused to go = big huge kick off from him about everything and anything he could throw at me. Of course it was my fault they wouldn't go when all I do is sing his praises to them, daddy loves you blah blah blah. He wouldn't leave and disconected all the phones to stop me calling the police. He is a twisted sick in the head person and when the kids see behaviour like that no wonder they don't want to go with him. After all the dog's abuse was finished he even had the cheeck to try and get me to feel sorry for OW as she is getting called a homewreaker in work.............homewreaker yes she bloody well is but I'm actually thankful!! I lived with him for 7 years I know what she has in front of her and if she was sensible she would run now.

I am feeling so much better today. I can see that there was no hope for us. I just keep making lists of negatives. He was a drunk, he was a smoker and I don't want a smoker, he was arrogant, shit cooking, the sex went bad, we had nothing in common once that went.

I feel so much better. I applied for another job yesterday. Onwards and upwards!

Glad your feeling better TT :) Good luck on the job front. I'm waiting on word back of my start date. New beginings and all that!!

I feel quite settled today. X is away till friday pm so I can relax knowing he won't be here kicking off. It's all still mind games isn't it? Wish I never had to see him ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Big Momma, you have made me feel sane again. Its totally utterly how I feel with the DCs. I even blame myself when they cry cus Im the reason he left because he fell out of love with me. Of course I know its all him but sometimes when you are low its hard not to beat yourself up. Ive had a "play therapist" come round tonight. She was brilliant and the DC's loved her. Im hoping that this will help them with the changes and hence help me.

Ive had a good day today. Ive felt sort of in control, even been singing and smiling. I know it wont last but one good day out of seven gives me hope that there will be more to come. Not interested in meeting anyone I just want to be happy in my own skin. I want to learn how to put me first and not some selfish wanker who only ever put himself first. Its hard doing it alone but I have to remember there may be hard times but who would want to miss out on our childrens tears or smiles. I want to be a happy Mommy for them. I just wish I didnt feel guilty for ignoring his texts about the girls. I did reply eventually but only because he was enquiring about DCs and play therapist. I hope he feels guilty as he is the reason and the only reason, they need a therapist. Wanker!

Big kisses to all you lovely ladies. I know wot goes up must come down but for today Im enjoying the "up".

xxxxxxxxxxx

I'm still all over the place, up, down, tormented, ok, back to tormented again. Overall I think I'm getting there though.

Hope you all are ok xx

Bump

How are you all? x

Baby look at me
And tell me what you see
You ain't seen the best of me yet
Give me time I'll make you forget the rest

I got more in me
And you can set it free
I can catch the moon in my hands
Don't you know who I am

Remeber my name
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name

Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember

Baby hold me tight
Cause you can make it right
You can shoot me straight to the top
Give me love and take all I've got to give

Baby I'll be tough
Too much is not enough
I'll grab your heart til it breaks
Ooo I got what it takes

Fame
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name

Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember
Remember

Fame
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to fly
High

I feel it coming together
People will see me and cry
Fame

I'm gonna make it to heaven
Light up the sky like a flame
Fame

I'm gonna live forever
Baby remember my name

Come on everyone where are you?

I'm in a fighting modd btw hence the lyrics! :o

and I might have had rather a lot of

Oh I'm so glad you started this thread up again Lubey. There is an active thread but it's very very quiet. I'll redirect anyone this way

I skipped this and went straight for dumpling thread... I found out about OW about 18mo ago and he left us just over a year ago. I am past the worst pain, it's mainly this dull ache and stupid jealousy for all the happy couples around me. I targeted my anger for a long time towards my ex-boss (was made redundant at the same time X left) and that became a bit of an obsession. Thinking back that wasn't very healthy but it hurt too much to think X and how easily he walked out. I feel for you and now go to get a glass of nice wine.

Hi can I join in please? I am with you all! I feel all of the pain, anger, tiredness, depression - god it is a rollercoaster and I just want NORMALITY!!! And aren't Friday nights the worst! I have 3 kids (2,6,9) husband left 3 months ago. (He is also playing the you booted me out card and feeling very sorry for himself, tho he drove me to it as he turned into a twat - long story) At the moment exh favourite past time is rubbing my nose in the fact that I had to quit my 25 hour week job and go on benefits in order to care for my 3 kids. That makes me so ANGRY that he is being a wanker about that!! I won't be on benefits for ever and I am not wonderwoman!!! He has said that he will look after 3 kids AND run his business - highly doubtful eh ladies? Just wants to make me feel as crap as possible cos he is such a nice guy (sarcasm) Big sigh - feel better now that is off my chest.
Thank you for being here!!!!!
Banana I too feel like I am the worst mother in the world at times tho' I KNOW I am working my arse off to make it all alright for them all! And you will be tooX
Idea of list is a great one. The other night I also wrote a goodbye letter - goodbye to the snoring, goodbye to the smelly feet, goodbye to the criticism - that works tooXX
Good luckXX

Good to see that I am not the only one spending my Fri evenings here. I was on benefits last year for a couple of months. How mean and petty of him to make you feel even worse about it Montessori. It's not great but as you said, it's only temporary. If he is so good in juggling things, maybe he should take the children for a week to see how he copes... I hope that you are all ok.

Hey America that is not a bad idea - give me a week off. I will put the proposition to him (and then watch him run a mile!!) HA HA. Thank youXX

Maybe just a glass of wine to relax my tense shoulders??? :))

I hope that the wine helped Montessori :) I am heading to bed, thankfully alone (well, you know what I mean) as the children are dead tired after a day outdoors. I bought a new bed once X moved out and it's narrower which make it a bit cramped when 2 DC climb in during the night. Just me and my John Grisham for now.