Hi ladies - have lost track of the original 'dumplings'/'chin out' threads I posted on 
.....
So sorry that we are in this awful place. I would say though that it does get better - I can remember how awful I felt in those early days (found out on NYE that ex was having an affair - he very nicely told me over the phone, whilst he was with her overseas - unbeknown to me).....I thought I would never eat again, never sleep again, and that my life was over.....add into this complete shock, crying non-stop and I was at a loss.....Now, 4.5 months later, I can say that although the hurt still does come up and slap me in the face, I am much better than I was. Counselling has helped - but biggie has been posting on here and getting fab support virtually and also in RL.
toptramp - I wouldn't send a card.....I sent a card to my ex, for closure as he was leaving the house. Unfortunately, for me, I had been sucked in by his 'you are just as guilty for me having the affair/didn't appreciate me/pay me enough attention/relationship was crap for x years' nonsense and this was reflected in the card as I said 'sorry for taking my eye off the ball' and 'how I had always loved him through our ups and downs'...He (of course) gladly accepted this, said that it had made him cry and (of course) blithely carried on his merry skip towards life with OW. I now see that that card was less about closure - for me and more about reaching out and seeing if he would come back. This was very early days - back at the end of Jan, so about 3 or 4 weeks after discovering the affair....My attitude has changed a lot since then and I asked for the card back recently and he said 'no, its mine'! I tried a bit of covert mind playing with him, saying but as he was off with OW and so happy, he wouldn't want my mushy nonsense in his life, esp as it was post-split. He mused and said 'yeah, guess so' and promised to bring it round later and of course forgot as he has done every other time I have asked him (or he 'cant find it'...I dont bother asking anymore, but I am peed off that he has it and that it was written at a time when I was so low. Best to write it out and digest (and dont send!).
loobeybooby, iisbigmomma - hugs to you. I still go through these emotions, though it does ease up as time goes on and becomes less all-consuming...i think the mind, body, soul advice from ifyourehappy and patience are spot on. Hard to do at first, I know, when it is a struggle just 'being'. You/we we all get to a good, happy place in our lives again....
Haven't read the whole thread yet - DS coming back from his dad's in an hour so need to do a few chores, but hugs to everyone.