Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How many marriages have you known to last?

57 replies

SineadTemptation · 10/05/2011 14:12

I'm just curious, because I know of none.

I'm basically wondering how many couples you know that have remained in their first marriage past the age of say 45?

OP posts:
DamselInDisguise · 10/05/2011 14:14

I can think of loads: all my in-laws, my ex's parents, my aunt and uncle, my mum's best friends, several of my neighbours, my grandparents, several of my colleagues, and so on.

Original poster
SineadTemptation · 10/05/2011 14:16

Not one 1st marriage has lasted in our family! it really puts me off the whole idea of marriage.

OP posts:
leicestershiregirl · 10/05/2011 14:16

My parents for 41 years yesterday.

vickibee · 10/05/2011 14:17

my parents were married for 53 years , until my father died. My sister has been married for 32 years, my brother for 26 years and me for 13 years. we are all 43 plus.

Yama · 10/05/2011 14:19

Most of the people I know over the age of 45.

DrGruntFotter · 10/05/2011 14:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

itsatiggerday · 10/05/2011 14:19

Wow really? I'm Shock I know of more that have than haven't by miles. Apart from a handful or two who have separated and several who have been bereaved unexpectedly. Although actually I knew far more when I worked in the City. So that was a good reason to get out!?

jemart · 10/05/2011 14:22

I'm probably in a minority here but know of only one instance of divorce in my immediate family (my aunt) and two of my second cousins. DH family is likewise very unusual, only one divorced uncle.
Marriages that lasted? 12

Pagwatch · 10/05/2011 14:28

Well, er me 21 years
My eldest sister - 28 years
My eldest brother 20 years ( 2nd marriage after his first wife died)
My 2nd brother - 22 years
My other brother 25 years

My parents nearly 60 years
My ills 44 years

Mollymax · 10/05/2011 14:30

More still together, than less.
My parents 40 years until father died.
DH parents still going strong.
All but one of my 5 aunts/ uncles.
All sets of grandparents.
Me and dh 16 years.
Out of the many weddings i went to in the 80's and 90's all but 3 still together.
Grin

nickelbabe · 10/05/2011 14:33

We're about to celebrate the 50th anniversary of a couple at church.

lots in our church, then have gone the distance (and it's so lovely when you see them still being lovey sometimes - not like blatant kissing or anything, but holding hands as they go up to communion, that kind of thing)

my mum and dad, my aunties and uncles on my mum's side

I don't know many divorced couples in real life.
I know a few widowed people though.

menagerie · 10/05/2011 14:35

My parents - married 55 years
my aunt & uncle - married 45 years
DH & me - 17 years
my sis & partner (not married but together) 30 years
brother & wife - 24 years
other aunt and her second husband (first was vile) - 50 years

all the mums at school in our circle are still married - some are second marriages but first ones split pre-kids

of the kids in my sons' classes 30 out of 31 in each class are still married and the others are a single adoptive mum and one divorced.

I was thinking the opposite. No one I know gets divorced. One of my best friends divorced when her kids were young, way before I met her, but apart from her, everyone I know is still married.

Hassled · 10/05/2011 14:37

My PILs have had their 50th - must be pretty close to 60th by now. They bicker endlessly and are both mad as balloons, but they're very heppy together.

And I have an 86 year old married to her 90-something husband - when I asked how he was, the aunt said "He's a miserable old git, that's how he is" :o.

Hassled · 10/05/2011 14:37

Happy, not heppy. I'm not South African.

JemimaMop · 10/05/2011 14:38

Lots!

My grandparents were married for 60 years before my Grandma died.
My dad died when I was young so they weren't that long.
DH's parents have been married for 47 years.
My sister has been married for 28 years.
SIL has been with her partner (not married) for 23 years.
All of mine and DH's Aunts/Uncles/Cousins etc's marriages have lasted. Same with friends, very few of our friends are divorced.

DH and I are mere spring chickens as we have only been together for 13 and married for 9 Grin

superv1xen · 10/05/2011 14:41

my mum and dad. some of my aunts and uncles.

thats pretty much it. most people i know past 40 other than them are on their second marriage, sometimes 3rd or more.

and i have to say, the ones who are still together, i am not sure they are that happy tbh. not even my mum and dad. :(

superv1xen · 10/05/2011 14:42

oh and i am only 31 and already been married twice Blush

anniemac · 10/05/2011 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

anniemac · 10/05/2011 14:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nagynolonger · 10/05/2011 14:49

My parents and PIL stayed married until one died.
DH and me have been married for over 30 years. One of my sisters never married, but the others did and so did my brother......all 25 years plus. All mid 40s to early 50s.
All our friend are still married. For one couple it is the wife's second marriage. First time both were teenagers and it lasted 2 years.
SIL was divorced after 15 years, and a niece was divorced within 18 months of marriage......she had lived with him for 7 years, and knew it was the wrong thing to do! They wasted thousands on the wedding. I was a bit p**d off about the presents and 8 x wedding outfits for me, DH and our 6 DC.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 10/05/2011 14:51

Nearly everyone I know. The only divorce I know of is my SIL who was married very young, only lasted a couple of years and they divorced. Now she has been married to my brother for 10 years and going strong. Other than that, no divorces in the family as far back as I can remember.

SofaQueen · 10/05/2011 14:53

I think I live in some kind of strange bubble as THe vast majority of marriages I know of are still going strong.

In-laws and parents both have been married for donkeys years, and no sign of flagging. On both sides of our families (DH and my), no divorces.

In terms of friends, I do not have any friends who are divorced - the vast majority of us waited until we were 30 to get married, so maybe we just were more honed in to what we wanted from marriage.

On DH's side, he has 2 acquaintances from Business school who are divorced. There is no couple in our social circle who are divorced. Extending In both DSs classes, there is only one divorced parent.

Wierd.

HMTheQueen · 10/05/2011 15:21

Loads.... parents, grandparent all but one of my aunts/uncles, all of my cousins...

DH's family - not his parents, but both sets of grandparents - most recently his grandparents celebrated 70 years marriage! All of his uncles/aunts.

Most of my friends have only been married a couple of years so far, so no divorces yet Wink

florencedougal · 10/05/2011 16:03

i think everyone of my close school friends who got married same time as me (mid 80s) have stayed together

megapixels · 10/05/2011 16:17

There've been 40 marriages in the family (all firsts) ranging from over 50 years long to more recent, and three have ended in divorce. Two have remarried since and one is still single.