What's he up to?

[mollymay]

I've just discovered a test message on my dh's phone that say's "Hi Blue Eyes how RU? X"

I confronted dh and he said it was from a business woman customer (he's a plumber)..

I've hit the roof.. he's denied anything is going on. What do you think?

MM, I think you should talk to your DH before you talk to her. It really takes some balls to say anything to the woman, although I respect anyone who has the guts to do it. If DH says that she texts him frequently, etc., you should tell him to tell her to stop it. I had a situation with my DH where an old girlfriend kept emailing DH suggestively, despite the fact that DH and I had already gotten engaged. DH thought I was overreacting, but I told DH to put a block on her email address and to tell her that 'The Wife' didn't appreciate that they were still in contact. It made me seem like an insecure brat, but I didn't care. I wanted it to stop. Hope it all works out for you, MM. I do agree that you shouldn't just ignore it or try to push this aside.

So Mm what did you say?

MM?

Yeah....what's happening?

Yeah....what's happening?

similar thing happened to me a few years ago. DH was too embarrassed by it to discuss it it seems and the woman in question carried on for a long time - hard for me to work through it on my own and to get over it, though it is all over now - as I couldn't and still can't understand why he could allow it to continue eg not say stop. I found I couldn't tackle the woman as husband was in denial that she had any feelings for him just and that it was actaully happening. Good luck if you tackle her!

Mollymay,

I bet she is just a predatory woman, and dh could be entirely innocent.

Has his behaviour changed in any way recently? - if not, then he is probably in the clear.

I do agree with the others that the onus is on your DH to text her himself and say that as a married man he doesn't appreciate flirtatious messages. He ought to be prepared to do this for you.

Hi y'all...sorry but I've been busy this morning!

Had it all out with dh last night. He was a bit defensive at first saying he didn't think he had anything to apologise for and at that I just furious. Anyway in the end I just blurted out how upset I was and that I felt I couldn't trust him and how my mind was running riot and I think he was quite shocked. We had a good long talk and I am convinced that nothing has gone on. He said things like he tells me he loves me because he really does and wouldnt say it otherwise. He said that he has been really scared the last couple of days at the thought of losing me and dd over something he hasn't done. He genuinely believes the woman is just being friendly and doesn't have any desires on him...he says she talks highly of her dh, etc... other txts she has sent him have been very innocent i.e. she's just got back from a good holiday etc.. apparently this was the first text message with a X at the end of it...Anyway I felt reassured but I am still unable to feel I can 'close' the matter. I feel I need to phone her and tell her to pack it in but I feel sick at the thought of a confrontation because its not me... Should I just let it go now? He has promised to let me know if she txts again and he is going to ignore this one (obviously! because I deleted it anyway!

It's good to hear your husband has reassured you, you must be relived. I'm sure it'll all be forgotten about with a little time. good luck.

Message withdrawn

mm - agree with Twinkie on this one. This is a great result - good you spoke with your DH about this. Sounds like a great talk. Happy to hear this.

Ahhh, i think you husband sounds lovely - bless him!
I actually think you should leave it now. Just try and think that's it's nice that other women find him freindly and attractive and want to flirt but feel safe in the knowledge that he's all yours and loves you and you DD very much. If you get the opportunity to see her face to face I thnk I'd just mention something but I wouldn't go out of my way to get hold of her. Just let it go - your husband loves you and you love him - have a lovely evening with him and enjoy the fact that he's all yours.
Glad you have got it sorted, it m,ust have been horrible for you.
LOL (that's love not laughs!!) xx