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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What's he up to?

112 replies

mollymay · 29/09/2003 12:49

I've just discovered a test message on my dh's phone that say's "Hi Blue Eyes how RU? X"

I confronted dh and he said it was from a business woman customer (he's a plumber)..

I've hit the roof.. he's denied anything is going on. What do you think?

OP posts:
doormat · 29/09/2003 15:04

use the manicure and free facial as a point of telling her how happy you and dh are and brag like mad

beetroot · 29/09/2003 15:06

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Twinkie · 29/09/2003 15:09

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doormat · 29/09/2003 15:09

beetroot I caught them actually at it on the couch.

Twinkie · 29/09/2003 15:11

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beetroot · 29/09/2003 15:35

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doormat · 29/09/2003 15:37

beetroot only 4

doormat · 29/09/2003 15:39

my dh is the father of my 6 kids, he has been there for him
ex was only bio-dad to 4 of them.He hasnt bothered for years.

beetroot · 29/09/2003 15:44

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doormat · 29/09/2003 15:49

mollymay just play it cool and keep a watchful eye
hope everything goes well
love
doormat
xxx

thanx beetroot

beetroot · 30/09/2003 14:26

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codswallop · 30/09/2003 14:29

yes news pl

Original poster
mollymay · 30/09/2003 14:35

no developments accept that I can't get those bloody words "blue eyes" out of my head. Last night we acted like nothing had happened chatting very pleasantly to each other (although none of the usual kisses hello and goodnight. I was going to check his bills but since he changed his phone company about 4/5 mths ago his bills aren't itemised! Anyway still can't stop thinking about it so I definitely need to pin him down and talk about it again. I think I'm a bit scared about what else will come tumbling out of the cupboard. I phoned "her" yesterday but put the phone down when she said hello (I know, childish). Just feel a bit numb today. What makes it all worse is that we are supposed to be ttc baby no.2 so in theory I could be preggas (am planning to test tomorrow)...

OP posts:
codswallop · 30/09/2003 14:36

Miolly! you shpuld have talked...

beety will do it for you

Twinkie · 30/09/2003 14:38

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beetroot · 30/09/2003 14:39

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Original poster
mollymay · 30/09/2003 14:44

ah thanks twinkie for the hug - I needed that...

yes I will talk with dh tonight...I know we can't avoid it but you now how it is with work, putting dd to bed, getting dinner out the way...watching eastenders (only joking!)...its nothing sinister re: changing his network..just fancied a new phone so changed his tarriff but kept the same number..

OP posts:
codswallop · 30/09/2003 14:47

no i meant talk to HER!!

Original poster
mollymay · 30/09/2003 14:50

and say what exactly codswallop!! I really liked the idea of saying "Hi blue eyes is fine, I'm his wife can I help?" but then I thought what if he's already rang her and warned her, then it kind of loses its effect doesn't it. On the other hand if there is nothing in it she will think I'm neurotic...either way I'll humiliate myself....

OP posts:
Original poster
mollymay · 30/09/2003 14:51

and say what exactly codswallop!! I really liked the idea of saying "Hi blue eyes is fine, I'm his wife can I help?" but then I thought what if he's already rang her and warned her, then it kind of loses its effect doesn't it. On the other hand if there is nothing in it she will think I'm neurotic...either way I'll humiliate myself....

OP posts:
beetroot · 30/09/2003 14:57

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ThomCat · 30/09/2003 15:18

I know you must be feeling sick over this, but he hasn't actually done anything that you know of yet, and hopefully he won't have. Please try and not get in too much of a state. She could just be a stupid tart with a problem and he's totally innocent. try and be angry with her not him until you have p[roof that he's done something wrong. if he's innocent it must be horrible for him to have you not trust him and give him the cold shoulder. On the other hand it's important to know why she's sending him texts like that. Sit down calmly with him and ask him to text her back and ask her to stop flirting as he's happily married and not interested. Either that or go in for a facial to her place and say 'did you send me husband a text calling him Blue Eyes? Why did you do that? We'd both rather you didn't act this way with him as it makes us both uncomfortable'.
So sorry you are having to deal with this at all, it's not fair. I just hope nothing comes of it and you get the opportunity to say something to the old tart!
Big hug {{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}

codswallop · 30/09/2003 18:45

Yes I liked Beetys ideas too but can see it would take nerve.
I dont agree that you would look silly aand agre that you are WELl within your rights to tell her to leave off.

forestfly · 30/09/2003 19:00

This happened to me im sorry it makes you feel ill

doormat · 30/09/2003 19:02

Mollymay send her the text back, you wont look silly at all and why would your dh phone her to warn her.Who cares as long as you are satisfied with getting this out into the open.
I also agree with the other girls that you need to talk calmly.
Make the phonecall and get this off your chest but play it cool.
LOL and hugs
doormat
xxx

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