This issue has also affected my relationship quite seriously. It has also become a societal issue because of the easy access and possibility of secrecy that the internet and Sky channels offer. England beats other countries by far now.
Easier than the embarrassment of reaching for the top shelf and making the purchase publicly! Possibly only a business trip would previously have offered this option of anonymity to the male partner?
In fact, how far would most men go given total anonymity? Total.
Why are some women OK with it and others not? What are their views on love, romance, sex and fidelity? I wonder if they would be differing within the two groups. I would like to hear what you think.
If sensual, romantic sexuality between a couple is to remain erotically fulfilling then surely any outsiders challenge this? How many people involve their partner within their fantasy world? Somebody made the point that men are not as imaginative? But, supposing that were not the case and that the P offers something that their relationship does not? Is there then sexual incompatibility within the couple, or should we simply accept that male and female sexuality differs ? full stop. ?Wired Differently? Relate. We can only hope for some overlap area then.
Would it make a difference both to the male viewer and female discoverer if the images were not of real people? Essentially it is currently material from people prostituting themselves for male titillation. Not a million miles away from prostitution then - a thin blue line. There is little eroticism or bulging biceps to please women even if we were to adopt this self-gratifying attitude to our own sex lives, which as sensitive, caring individuals is an approach harder to adopt. It doesn?t sit well with us. There is little eroticism at all left now, not desired by men therefore?
If the images were not real, say computer generated images had come so far, would the male then not feel that he was ?having? all these different women, which may play a role in his own self-esteem and inherent built-in desire to spread the seed? Would he be as interested in it? A man who keeps a small amount of the same stuff to view occasionally may be doing it for different reasons to the one who buys and circulates with other males, new stuff all the time. New women spread on the block.
The man who likes Playboy may be different from the one who likes hardcore, but Playboy is becoming harder. I have heard it expressed that men mainly like this stuff for the hardcore element, not the eroticism? What of the issue of viewing other men also -within the group situation. Some latent homosexuality, male bonding, a diminution of the sexual threat daily felt by other men within their environment? A safe haven for catharsis of fear. Men must fear other men. They still kill each other, and although they can cry, they still cant talk as eloquently and intimately about their feelings as women can. They still seem to me to be predominantly driven by power of any sort. Money being it currently. And now, sex as part of their power structure?
Once the potency is proven, what power does it offer a man to make love to one women if he cannot be fully inclined. With a women the powerful urges of erotic romance are foremost and empowering, rewarding. For many men, this may not be the same, especially if their own umbilical cord issue has not been carefully cut. Mummy still rules in the head and so on. Their women may eventually present a new umbilical cord!! Maybe after she herself becomes a mother this feeling worsens for their male.
What women wants to waste her time struggling with a child in a lingerie department for her husband just to feel that she is emulating these other women who are occupying his fantasies? She has a right to own her own sexuality in that way that she wants to, just as he also has that right. So, stalemate. Sex within marriage is notorious poor and waning over time. Could these factors be contributing? If both parties have average sex drives, then why does it go wrong? Tired, kids? Are we every too tired to be hungry? Women and men wanting different things? When sex and love start to separate too much then a lot of women may lose interest. He still loves her, but the effects of the differing sexual attitudes mean that over time, maybe she doesn?t want to make love to him.
Desensitisation to normal sexuality, addiction and escalation are also inherent issues within P. One theory about the decline and fall of the Roman Empire is related to the same attitudes to sex that are infiltrating our society today.
Only self- control, sensitivity and an intellectual attitidue to sexuality from a male can provide a fulfilling sex life for women who do not accept the sexual hijack, objectification of women, male domination of the sexual arena and base crude vulgarity that P has to offer. Maybe men are being corrupted by the economics of the sex trade, but they do have the choice to buy or view.
If a woman has a fulfilling sex life with ?her? man and he is still asking HER
to wear the suspenders ? and you find some stuff that is not wholly unacceptable to you, maybe he has a higher sex drive than you thought ? and want to be bothered with! Maybe then you accept it.
If, however, he is rolling over for 10min on a Sunday morning and you find that he has a rich sexual fantasy life involving other women ? why should you accept that when you thought he was just tired ? and you are left frustrated? How will you feel every time you go out to Tesco struggling with the kids? What is he up to? Like burning the frilly knickers drawer, probably. ? It?s not as if you think he is so fantastic either!?And, if you do the same - disrespecting his sexuality and fantasising about gorgeous guys? OK for a while but the next time you listen to Madeleine Peyroux ?Dance me to the end of love? or ?Unchained melody?, some Elvis or Roy Orbison ? it wont be the muscle bound guys you are thinking about, and it wont be him. It will be of making erotic, passionate love to SOMEONE else ? and you will start looking.
Maybe female sexuality is actually more dangerous to ?society?. More of a sexual, physical being after all? The female drive to have the babies may actually be greater than the male drive to procreate? Once the sperm has penetrated the egg it produces a spermicide to kill off other sperm. Nature-given evidence that the female may have sex with another male within the next ten minutes! The first male protects his genes. Maybe society has evolved to suppress this female sexuality?
When was the last time you went out and saw any male dressed in a sexually provactive way? Maybe they have not allowed it, because they would be fighting all the time out of sexual insecurity. They bond together in a way that protects many aspects of their establishment. There was a time when the rich men would dare to wear tights and cod-pieces, only the rich. Somehow the tights bit doesn?t sound very stimulating in present society ? but you get the drift. Only gay blokes strut their stuff. Every wondered why we women are so deprived of a similar sensory input? Do you really believe it is because we don?t want it around? We may not take it to the lengths that males would with the P, out of respect, love and facts as mentioned previously ? but have you not glanced at the top shelf and seen a really great guy with a fantastic six pack only to find it is ?gay times?. In reality, only out of vengeful feeling would women want this stuff anyway. But it sure as hell would put them in their place if they had to look at rows of Playgirl-like mags. Why should we mooch around listening to romantic songs any more? Because this is still the most erotic thing for women. To dream of the passion. Who cares about the page and the celluloid. Women would soon want to bite the muscle not smell the flowers and eat the chocolate. Maybe men know that at some deep level and are afraid of it?
So, if men don?t deal with this issue carefully ? surely we will eventually not love them any more? Maybe female independence has contributed to this rise in P? Maybe men are fearful underneath of what will happen if a woman can have the children AND leave if she is unhappy?
Just ideas. ?Shut up you new-comer, you don?t even know what the dd?s and the dh?s are!?. ?Bet you were in the debating society?.
My God ? that was ?enough said?!! Any comments?