Been seeing him for around 3 months. I have a 13 year old son, he has a 14 year old daughter who lives with him. The first time I visited his house it was nice and tidy but it was a pre-arranged visit so he probably tidied up in advance. I then went yesterday which was NOT pre-arranged, he just asked spare of the moment if I'd like to go as his DD was away for the day. I agreed. Thing is I've been a bit put off by it! the living room was full of his DD's stuff, hair straighteners and hair brush just chucked onto the sofa along with make-up and her clothes. The rug was full of crumbs, his dirty socks were on the living room floor and his DD had left tissue paper (obviously used for make-up purposes) stuffed onto the radiator under the mirror also in the living room.
The kitchen was full of dirty pots too (tbf I leave the pots sometimes so this is no big deal but the living room was like a teenagers bedroom).
I've never met his DD but I'm really starting to wonder if I'd get on with her and I know it's his doing and she's just behaving how he allows her to but could you imagine living with that? At the top of the stairs is a chest of drawers with all her clothes chucked all over the top of it. DP says it's because she can't be arsed to put them away so leaves them all at the top of the stairs. She totally seems to take over the house. Its other stuff too though, like just after christmas he bought her an xbox kinect for her birthday which isn't until May. He origianlly said she couldn't have it until May but ended up giving her it in early march. She then told him that it didn't feel like a birthday present as she'd gotten it so early so he bought her a £140 mobile phone - again he gave her it early and is now asking me what he thinks he should get her for her birthday! He told me he gives her a clothing allowance on top of her pocket money but I've noticed he buys her clothes anyway out of his own pocket and yet never questions what she does with this clothing allowance. Also, they live in a two bedroomed house, she has the master bedroom and he is squashed into the single room!!
The thought of us ever living together fills me with dread. I'd never allow my son to take over a house like this. If I can't ever see us living together, it's a bit of a no-go isn't it? or am I being petty??