I don't love you anymore . . .

[BlueistheColourIthink]

My other half of 2.5 years arrived this evening (long distance) and uttered the immortal words of "we need to talk".

All boils down to a kiss last week where he didn't feel the spark anymore. This added to the fact that he doesn't miss me anymore and doesn't love me anymore. We talked for hours, he's just left. I explained that I felt all relationships go up and down and that surely there must be something else, but no, apparently not. There is a girl at work who he quite likes but nothing else and he doesn't want to go out with her. I've said lots of stuff, some of it quite nasty and some of it quite pathetic.

Has anyone had any experience of a relationship ending this way? On either side?

Blue

xxx

Eek, no. Do NOT send the email. I can almost guarantee that you will regret it. Keep yourself busy doing things you love. Good luck.

This is my first post!

Blue, I am going through the same thing as you at mo...although a little further on. It does get better.

My ex called me first week in Jan (he was working away over xmas - works away 3 weeks at a time) and told me he didn't love me anymore. I don't know what happened as we were on skype every night, him constantly telling me how much he loved and missed our daughter and me. I had no reason to think anything was wrong.

Like you, he changed overnight. It was a bolt out of the blue! He was seeing someone else, they reconnected on FB. He left our life together and was engaged to the ow by end of February. I was so hurt. The rejection was unbelievable. He has totally washed his hands of us and has made no effort to contact our daughter. He is now living in the UK, so it has been easy for him to just distance himself. I blocked him from FB etc. I couldn't face the details of his life - this is where I heard about his new relationship and engagement - hard to be believe he's 44!

Things are looking up now! My daughter and me are going on our summer holidays this week and she's so excited (she's only 4). She was constantly asking for daddy but he's starting to fade into the background and we have moved on with our new lives - just the two of us.

As others have said, look after yourself - plan something nice...keep busy and you will come out the other end. Like you I'm sure, in the future I hope I meet someone who deserves and respects my daughter and myself.

Please Blue, really don't send that email. Trust me you will cringe about it in 12 months (or even a lot less) time if you do send it.

Not meaning to make light of this, we all know the horrid pain you have that won't leave you now but I promise you it's better to never contact him again and to delete him as friend on fb. Time WILL heal this!

Hello all,

Haven't sent the email and won't.

Went for a run instead. I can't believe how easy the couch to 5 k program is! I'm really enjoying it and excited about running 10k on New Year's Day this year. Have lost 20lbs and having to dig out clothes that haven't fit me for ages. Silver lining and all that.

Also, just deleted him from facebook. Just thought, seriously, he's got me on limited profile, why should he be able to see what I'm up too.

I can't believe how the grief just sneaks up on me some days, like today. Newhorizon, I wonder if like your ex mine had another woman, it was literally overnight. shrugs

So glad you didn't sent it - you will get over this man and at some stage in the future you will meet the right person. You have to believe that.

Hi Blue

Well my 4.5 year relationship ended with many similarities. That was 18 months ago and after he'd sent me a birthday card (3 months after the utter shock of being told "I don't feel the same any more") saying we would always be friends, I thought long and hard. Part of me desperately wanted that thread of contact, the connection of him still being in my life and yes I did hope that maybe we could sort it out and go back to the strong loving relationship I thought we had.

But then I realised I couldn't deal with being "just friends" when our lives had been so shared and intimate. I felt sick with jealousy at the thought of another woman taking MY place, living MY life and having what I thought of as MY future, yet having to be OK about it as we were "friends". So although it hurt so much, I wrote a clear, calm note and ended by saying it was time to close the door on that part of my life.

I've managed to keep away, but have maintained friendship with his parents (who don't understand what happened either). I think I've kept my dignity. I think there's a saying that "you can go from being friends to being lovers, but never the other way round". Very true. Hope you can stay strong and let time heal the pain.

Thanks for the replies - you are all right. So glad I didn't send the bloody thing! Another run tonight, and I am noticing that I'm not thinking about it all the time.

Also had a nice flirt with a handsome Science teacher at school today, every little helps :-)

Excellent!

An Update from me:

Just thought I'd let all your lovely people who supported know how things were going! I've just read back through this thread and don't recognise the person writing.

The running is on going, I was bridesmaid last month for my brother and the dress maker had to take 10inches off my dress. I've shed about 2.5 stone and still going.

Also . . .in the summer I met someone. It's early days but rather awesome. :)

There is life after a break up. :)

Didn't see your original thread but have caught up now. So glad for you hope it carries on being awesome!!

Great to hear that - you've done so well. You had a narrow escape with that one, I think - he wouldn't have done anything differently if you'd had a child together.

Fantastic about the running - did you do it on your own? How long did it take before you could run without wanting to die? (Sorry, you may be completely different to me!)

Thanks Satsuma!

As for the running, I still feel like dying sometimes but it's much better. I'm following a programme called Couch to 5k and it builds you up from running from 30seconds to longer and longer. It's free/v cheap to download. Exercise has made all the difference. I think for the first time in my life size 10/12 might be achievable!