Urgent advice - domestic violence towards sister living abroad

[jollyboysmum]

Can anyone offer practical advice, please? My sister lives in Egypt (Sharm el Sheikh, not Cairo) and has been married to a local man for approx 27 years. She has 5 children, her husband has always been violent towards her, punching and kicking her in front of the children and locking her in. Now he has thrown her out, she has no money, nowhere to go, and he has the passports. She will not leave without her youngest daughter (8 yrs old.) Does anyone know of a women's refuge in Sharm el Sheikh, or Embassy/consulate as these are in Cairo (8 hours away). She has left him in the past and needs his permission to travel with the children without her husband. She was detained at the airport until the security guards spoke to him on the phone to confirm she was not leaving without his permission. Urgent advice required.

Very glad to hear that your sister and niece are out safely. Is there any risk for the elder daughter from other members of the family, not just her father and (maybe) brothers? Would she have support from other family members (cousins, aunts...) or are they part of the problem?

Hi there, DN has just started school but is worried her father may come, now saying to my sister about her dad 'he was wrong to hurt you' etc etc and wakes in night worried. should we seek counselling for her? i think her lovely school offers it...

Yes, I really think it would be worthwhile.

If there is a counsellor in school that would be a very good idea for your DN. But remember it will take time for her to settle and adjust - she has had huge upheaval as well as the stress of her previous life. For her to express her feelings and anxieties now is a good thing and only to be expected. Offer her some gentle reassurance that it is ok to talk about what has happened and how she is feeling, and that it's natural to feel a little worried about some things after what she has been through but reassure her that she will start to feel more settled soon.
Just in case there is any chance however that you may think her father or someone he has tasked with the job may try and remove her from school, speak to school and make sure that they are aware that only your sister or you or named trusted adults can collect her.
I don't know the legal side of things but your sister might be advised to get legal advice now about any legal measures or orders that could be put in place to stop her husband attempting to take DN back to Egypt. Better safe than sorry.
So glad that they are now in the UK. Well done.

Does the school know her background? I would make sure that the relevant personel know (probably the head of year and maybe the child protection person). It will then be dealt with on a need to know basis, but can be very helpful for teachers to have some heads up, if only "X has had a tough time before the move and may need some TLC".
Definitely get any counselling you can for her. If she is at a school with a lot of students from overseas they may be especially well placed to help her.

Hello all. Sis is getting on well, although clearly still adjusting to her new life. We went along to the first counselling session (I was there to reassure her) and it was utterly fantastic. The Freedom Programme, the facilitator and host were just brilliant. The first of many many sessions on my sisters long path to recovery. We're hoping to find a counsellor for my niece through these wonderful women. Thanks for all your suggestions as it's great advice x

oh thank goodness, I was wondering how she was doing! Do give her my love won't you?

I'm signing myself up for courses now too!

Such great news!

Wishing so much happiness for your DSis and DNiece x

Hissy reading back through the thread I think you're pretty brilliant, always giving support and I hope you find the happiness you wish for others x

maristella, thank you.

How lovely of you to say such a thing

you'll have me in tears! easily done today!