Genuine question to those in bad relationships.

[upahill]

I have read over the years on this forum some terrible stories of how supposedly 'D'P's speak to and treat their wives and girlfriends

I hear how lazy some husbands are and of some right stinking sense of entitlement some of them have.
I have been genuinely shocked by some of the stories.

Out of curoristy those that are in bad relationships,were your partners always cruel. Did you see any bad traits in them before you moved in together or was it a gradual decline?

I have a couple of friends that have ended up in lousy relationships that more or less the rest of the population could see would end in tears - except them. There was no convincing them that their choice of bloke was the fella from the depths of hell. They had to discover that for themselves.

gay 40 your intention may not be to make women who have been in or are in an abusive relationship feel worse about themselves but what you are actually saying about these women is exactly what their abusive partners are also telling them, its their fault and that they are stupid

Gay40 I think maybe the male dynamic thing is one of the most important aspects of it, tbh, though I say this without any experience of a gay relationship to compare with.

But then again, if you'd spent half the energy telling your husbands to go fuck themselves when they started this emotional abuse crap as you have writing lots of lines telling me I have no idea (duh no....I've never been in an abusive relationship) then you might not be sat here bemoaning the fact that some bloke pulled the wool right over your eyes.
Now who is looking stupid......

Not you @ Math. I think you are OK.
But I'm positive there are just as many women who abuse their partner.

Gay40

You assume we are all stupid doormats who never challenged their husbands.. As is typical from people who've survived this situation, my negotiating and tightrope-walking skills are second to none.

As your posts quite clearly show, you just don't know enough about this subject to go around calling other people stupid.

My DH was very charming towards all of my family so they all liked him straight away. There were a few things looking back I should have picked up on before we got married but we used to spend a lot of time together and were generally happy I guess but then it was a different situation. I had a lot of repect for him and thought he was a decent mature guy who was hard working. I always use to dismiss little things because I would tell myself nobody as perfect and no marriage was perfect. It has now got to the point where he barely speaks to me for days.
I am so glad of MN and find it so sad so many of us are in similar situations.