********************It's over****************

[Mhamai]

I was on a thread a while back because I was having problems in an early relationship, well we broke up for good yesterday and although the writings been on the wall for some time, well actually he kept me dangling for a few wks and dont get me wrong because I wanted to dangle! but I erupted at the wknd, got drunk and ranted into his voicemail stupid txts ect I feel like my world has just caved in and I suppose I just want sompe support, I mean I've gone through breakups and suvived and I know time is a great healer etc but its the pain I'm in right now that is killing me, I just feel so empty.

Do you feel you are benefitting from this therapist? Six months is long enough to give him a thorough try.

Hi Anorak I'm just concerned that I might be running away from some of the work I've done with him, I know I'monly at the beginning of my own training but there are different styles of therapy, some of them longer than others,

I think the best thing I can do is discuss some of these issues with him next week and see what he says. I'm starting at a beginners writers group this morning so am looking forward to that, I'll let you know how I get on.

Yay! my class went really well, did a lot for my confidence! Yes I'm still thinking about ex far too much etc but I feel a lot stronger today, I want to shut out the pain but I suppose grief is part of the healing, anyway just thought I'd fill you in and please to anyone who might be lurking please feel free to contribute

Your plan of action with the therapist sounds sensible. And the writing class sounds wonderful. I attended one myself when I was halfway through therapy and it reminded me of my childhood dreams to be a writer, did wonders for my optimism and was very cathartic.

running your own class is superb!

OMG Anorak that's mad, I've loved writing since childhood too and especially poetry, my facilitator said I could very possibly have my work published! Did you say you run your own class? I know I'll sound like a broken record but thanks so much for your support hun, I always feel better after reading your wise and kind words [[hugs]]

Yes, my therapist asked my what I'd dreamed of in childhood, and I remembered wanting to be a writer. I'd started going to a class when my girls were babies, but I'd given it up when I split up with their dad, he didn't support them and I had to work in two jobs to make ends meet so there was no time. Three years down the line I'd built a good business and could afford a bit of time off to go to class again, but I'd virtually forgotten my dream.

Once reminded, I went back to the same tutor, rediscovered how therapeutic it was, rediscovered the joy of spending a couple of hours a week with people who loved words and literature as much as I did. I met my now DH the same week I went back to class. I still attend the same class with the same tutor (now very old!) nearly 8 years later and 15 years since I first met him.

I don't run a class myself although my tutor thinks I could, I think of it as something I might do later in life. For now I am halfway through my first novel and my challenge is to finish it and get it published.

I'm so glad you share this interest. It's a wonderful thing for people who love it, and one of the most healing things I know. Healing is all about feeling someone else understands, and if you can put your sorrows and griefs into words that move someone else, you achieve that.

I also write poetry by the way!

Well heavens above! Talk about feeling that you connect with someone and then for it to transpire that we both have interests in writing and literature, ironically when problems started to surface with my ex, I hadn't yet started my degree or writers group, although I had enrolled for both and I had tried to appease my ex by telling him that maybe when I had these external activities going on that I would be less dependent on him, my God how true that is!

I still pine for him and in fairness I'm reminding myself that it is only two weeks since we broke up but Anorak I'm really starting to feel as if this break up will be the making of me. Ok I was quite low today but thats ok! I've already read two books on break ups and that in itself is testiment I believe to my wanting to heal and to move on.

I too had not written for quite a while as I'm sure you can appreciate having a lively 4yr is limiting to a certain extent, however when I saw the group advertised some months back, some inner force drew me to it, apart from reconnecting with my love of the written word, I have found a feeling of self worth!

Sadly the only man in our group is 70+ so not much by the way of future romantic openings there {grin] If I'm not being too nosy, I would love to know more about your novel, sorry this post has gone on forever! The hour is quite late but I'll check in tomorrow.

ps I would love to see your poetry too, I personally dont write to form, maybe we could meet up over on the poetry thread? I hope I'm not being too intrusive, anyway [[[hugs]]

Certainly we'll chat more about this, it won't be today I'm afraid as I am busy all day, but tomorrow or Monday I should have plenty of time to post!

Excellent! talk soon

Maybe I should be over on the depressed thread but would really appreciate some advice, I'm strongly thinking of going on Ads as I'm struggling to get through the day, I'm in therapy but I just dont want to go out, have practically shut myself off,I've also an essay paper due in 4 wks but sincè breaking up with dp three wks ago everything is so painful and bleak.

Just catching up with your thread, mhamai.
Sounds like you have had a pretty rough time recently.
If you are feeling depressed rather than just stressed, there is no harm in giving AD's a go.
I have been on them in the past & they helped me through a pretty tough time.
Why not have a word with your GP or HV?

Hi Stressedmummy, I'm just a bit scared because the last time I was on ads (can't think of the name of them now) I reacted really badly to them, I have my counselling tomorrow so that should help,it's just that I feel so guilty because I'm just going through the motions and all I can think of is bloody him! although It will be one full wk since we split that I havent spoken to him, a record for me!

Talk to your gp about it mhamai.
They will try you on a different kind of AD & more than likely start you on a very low dosage.
I was really worried about reacting badly to them too, but was put on a very gentle AD & had no side effects what so ever.
If you are feeling that low, it is a good idea for you to talk to someone about it & see what help they can offer.
What about your HV?
My HV has been an excellent source of support.

Hi Stressedmummy, I've gotmy counseeling tomorrow so will discuss it then, ps have namechanged from Mhamai {Irsh for Mum} as I was gettin a bit fed up with name, hope your keepin ok this afternoon.