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Original poster

Text on DH's phone from an unsaved number.

56 replies

Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 14:40

Today DH left his phone out. A text came through, you can see it as it's an iphone.

Did you watch the match today xxx. Now I know I shouldn't have looked but I did, the unsaved number made my guts lurch, why.

I then find an exchange of very familiar texts all :D and xx about their favourite matches, players.

Now I know this could be a friend etc, etc. I know this person is female, why not have her number in his phone?

What would you think honestly?

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 27/03/2011 14:41

someone he's only just met....he's not sure of their 'friendship' yet?

overmydeadbody · 27/03/2011 14:48

Maybe he doesn't want her number on his phone? I know people who have somehow got hold of my number through friends etc. and who send me texts but who I choose not to save on my phone as I don't consider them a friend and wouldn't initiate contact.

I wouldn't worry just yet tbh. Nothing wrong with him having a friend who sends texts about something as dull as football.

Mouseface · 27/03/2011 14:58

Ask him. If it has upset you, just ask him.

If it's innocent, fine.

If not he'll lie to you and hopefully you'll be able to tell.

You can spend all day guessing and working yoursel up into a state if you don't ask him out right.

orangeeyebrows · 27/03/2011 14:59

what did he say when you asked him?

sounds like just a mate talking about crappy football to me

Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 15:01

Either ask him outright or get over it.
Bear in mind how stupid and suspicious you may appear.

Original poster
Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 15:02

I asked him, he said it's a colleague he has know for years, but I have never met, he dosen't know why he dosen't have her number in his phone.

OP posts:
FuppyGish · 27/03/2011 15:03

xxxx are a bit weird but maybe that's just me Grin

Mouseface · 27/03/2011 15:13

My bullshit radar is on high alert. If you've known someone for ages, of course you'd have their number saved. Unless he knows it off by heart.

What do YOU think?

ilythia · 27/03/2011 15:14

I have very good friends whose numbers arent saved on my phone as I never get round to it, I just reply to texts.
and my gay bff uses xxx to everyone, including my husbandHmm

caughtinanet · 27/03/2011 15:17

Do you mean xxx as kisses or does it stand for the name of the person who sent the text?

If its the name of the person then I would say that they don't have a close relationship, I never put my name on a text unless I think the receiver won't know its from me i.e. I don't know them well enough for them to have stored my number in their phone.

Original poster
Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 15:20

I think he's lying. Nothing more else to say really. All very familiar. All very handy I've never met this "colleague" or heard her talked about ever. Something stinks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 15:20

Kisses as in xxxx

OP posts:
Mouseface · 27/03/2011 15:25

Yep. Go with your gut.

He either flirts with her to make himself feel good, loving all the attention, eog boosting etc or he'd like something to happen between them.

Does she know about you? That he's married?

Fresh2death · 27/03/2011 15:27

its all abut context, if you trust him and have a fulfilling loving relationship then there shouldn't be a problem.
if you are either lacking in confidence/ suspicious by nature then you need to address your behaviour first before assuming the worst

madonnawhore · 27/03/2011 15:44

Sounds dodgy to me I have to say.

Original poster
Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 15:47

I do trust him, and we do have a good relationship, or so I thought. Somethings just not right. I can't say why.

I have no idea who she is, if she knows about me or what. A bit weird for someone he has supposedly worked with for so long.

OP posts:
Mouseface · 27/03/2011 15:58

Exactly.

NinkyNonker · 27/03/2011 16:01

Anything in Sent messages?

Original poster
Iphonesarecrap · 27/03/2011 16:08

Yes it's all very :D sweet and nice, talking about her favourite person, sports etc.

So it's all very familiar, congratulating her on her favourite person doing well etc. Everything before this convo DELETED.

Or it's the first time they have ever had a conversation by text.

OP posts:
Curiousmama · 27/03/2011 16:10

I'd ring the number.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 27/03/2011 16:11

When it smells like horseshit - it usually is :(

Any chance it's an ex?

Mouseface · 27/03/2011 16:31

So he's lying about just how much he talks to her, they seem to know a lot about one another if they are so familiar.

Not the first time, not at all.

I smell a rat, and it's not one of my distant relatives Wink

madonnawhore · 27/03/2011 16:41

Can you access his bills? Check for occurence of the unsaved number?

Odd that all previous texts from/to her are deleted.

rosieposey · 27/03/2011 16:49

The whole 'now i know i shouldn't have looked but i did' soundys really sketchy - i would be suspicious if i were you, what did she mean by that? Hmm

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 27/03/2011 16:52

It's utterly implausible that he has had a colleague for years that you have never heard about, to the extent that they have been engaging in regular text conversations in recent times.

If I had to guess, I'd say they are in the process of "mirroring" that I often write about on here - the phase that hallmarks the start of a potential affair. Football is also one of those things that arouses a sense of shared belonging. If you are not a fan yourself, I bet this woman knows it Hmm.

As ever, the bills will hold the key to this - and after that, a frank conversation about secrecy and blurred friendship boundaries.