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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Ok, this text must mean he's cheating

30 replies

MaritalLo · 25/03/2011 00:47

I've namechanged for this. I'm a regular, and I never thought this would happen to me.

I've calmed down in the last hour. My DH is away with work, or so I thought. I've gone to bed, and I hear my phone beep. It's a text from DH "Thanks for a great night XXX". There's no way that's innocent is it? I haven't rung him back, it's late. Things have been distant between us for a while since the birth of DD2.

Oh my god

OP posts:
MadAboutQuavers · 25/03/2011 01:04

So sorry Maritalo

Doesn't look good I'm afraid

I'd ring the twunt right now if I were you and tell him he's been caught out

AyeRobot · 25/03/2011 01:06

Oh dear. No, it doesn't look good.

I wouldn't ring him if I were in your shoes. I would need to see the look on his face when confronted.

So sorry.

FriedSpamButty · 25/03/2011 01:10

Calm down! Of course it doesn't mean he's cheating. He could be thanking a colleague for arranging a great meal, trip to a comedy club or anything.

I've arranged all sorts of works nights out and have received lots of messages of thanks, many of them in text form. If DP even dared to suggest they were messages of thanks for illicit sex I'd have been seriously angry.

TakeItOnTheChins · 25/03/2011 01:18

Weeeellllll..... not many blokes would put three kisses on a text to a mate though, surely?

lubeybooby · 25/03/2011 01:18

I would confront immediately before he realises it was sent to the wrong person and has time to come up with a story

BristolJim · 25/03/2011 01:19

I'd have thought if he was having an affair, he wouldn't be texting the OW as he'd be with her?

More likely surely is that he went out for a couple of drinks with a colleague, maybe did have a great night and simply wanted to thank them for their company? Being squiffy, he sent it to the wrong mobile.

It seems odd that he would be having an affair with someone who wasn't there with him.

BristolJim · 25/03/2011 01:21

I put kisses on social texts to female colleagues. It doesn't mean we're boffing like rabbits.

Original poster
MaritalLo · 25/03/2011 01:24

I'm still in a state of shock, but I'm going to (try to) sleep on this. This could be innocent. I'll see how I think in the morning. He should be back home by 4pm tomorrow

OP posts:
FriedSpamButty · 25/03/2011 01:26

Wouldn't they? My best friend's DH sent me a text thanking me for something with three kisses on. She knew about it, it wasn't secret. He was thanking me for something that I had done for her.

But really, would a text after a night of illicit sex really say 'thanks for a great night' ??? If so he deserves everything he gets! Is he really that stupid?

Magicjamas · 25/03/2011 02:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LisaD1 · 25/03/2011 08:27

Of course it doesn't mean he must be cheating, he could be, of course he could but he could also be innocent.

Last week my DH's male boss sent him a text thanking him for a piece of work he had managed to complete in a last minute panic, it had several X's on it! This guy has recently got married, his head was clearly half way between work and home hence his mistake. I nor the guy's wife think our husbands are having a gay affair!

You need to speak with your DH, calmly, and see what's going on, hopefully it has an innocent explanation and will get you 2 talking and back on track.

Good luck.

ChupaChups · 25/03/2011 09:16

Sorry, I disagree. If a married male work colleague sent me a text with three kisses on it and we weren't having an affair then I would pull him up on it.

I get on really really well with my boss but we are both married and I wouldn't like it if he did that. If my DH or his DW saw it then I don't think it would go down very well and I am the sort of person who sends lots of kisses to everyone normally!

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino · 25/03/2011 09:18

surely the three X's are a name that the op doesn't want to put on here

I must say though that it doesn't look good
I have never been able to watch love actually again ever
I cried so much

monkeysmum79 · 25/03/2011 10:08

Ask him in a conversational way " so, what did you get up to?" or however you would normally ask him, see how he reacts?
TBH he has probably already realised he sent the message to you! Could it possibly be a sarcastic message because you didn't call him back?

wonkeydonkies · 25/03/2011 10:37

did he say when you last spoke to him he was going out with colleagues/friends?

jellybelly25 · 25/03/2011 10:39

Don't panic! It doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating. But if you already suspected, then why did you? Why not just reply and say I think you sent that to the wrong person?!!

CheekyLittleSox · 25/03/2011 12:03

is the XXX a name or 3 kisses? i would go apeshit, i would. confront him. dont take no shit :( sorry for you

Jemma1111 · 25/03/2011 16:18

I probably wouldn't do anything at this point because if he is playing around and knows your'e suspicious he will more than likely deny it and just be more careful in future to hide any evidence.

Probably best to bide your time and see if anything else gives you cause for concern.

Trust me, if he is cheating you will eventually get real proof

MadAboutQuavers · 26/03/2011 02:59

How are things Maritalo?

CarmenSales · 26/03/2011 08:46

hope you spoke 2 your DH and get an explanation. And u manage to rest a bit Smile

SneakyJamCavern · 26/03/2011 08:48

What are you up to today?
Are you going to be able to talk when he gets back - can anyone have the DCs?

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 26/03/2011 08:55

i can see how you would immediately think "affair" but there could be a number of reasons.

problem is if he has realised that he has sent you the text then he has had plenty of time to think up a reasonable excuse... (if he is cheating)

good luck and I do hope you get to the bottom of this

Fruitsmoothie · 26/03/2011 14:59

Maybe he wants to get caught, and that's why the message (consciously or unconsciously) was sent to her. That's even worse, sorry.

sea74 · 26/03/2011 15:27

I want to know more of this.
Maritalo, i hope things are fine.... thinking of you.

LoopyLoopsChupaChups · 26/03/2011 15:32

Hope you're OK. I wouldn't jump to conclusions though, I could easily be innocent.